He could feel both Leah and Erik tensing, almost shivering with fear and confusion, but Chris remained completely unfazed. Apparently, not even this exasperated version of his persona affected him, which only irritated Marc more.
“Just back the fuck off,” Chris rumbled. “I don’t want or need your help. You’ve done enough.”
The air between them was dense and electric. The smallest spark would have made it all blow away. But Marc was fuming, fed up with walking on eggshells around him. “You know what? Fuck you.”
“You already did that,” Chris retorted.
What?Marc clenched his jaw, the blood pumping through his veins becoming corrosive acid.If I had actually fucked you, you’d have noticed. “Grow a fucking pair.” He pointed a finger in his face. “If you have a problem with what happened between us, you should talk to me. Acting like a brat won’t solve shit.”
“I don’t have anything to say to you.”
“Apparently you do because you’ve been a dick ever since that night.”
“I was high and drunk.” Chris drew in a deep breath, hitting his thigh with the side of his fist.
Drunk and high? My ass.
They had drunk and smoked some weed throughout that day, but by the time they’d locked themselves in the back of the bus with Vi, most of it had worn off. As dark as it had been, Marc remembered Chris’s lustful gaze perfectly. There had not been an ounce of doubt, hesitation, or inebriation in it when he’d offered his dick, kissed him, and jerked him, too.
Sadly, he would never admit it. At least not out loud; was too matted in his mind to see that enjoying getting head from another man wasn’t wrong or sick. It didn’tnecessarilyturn him into something he didn’t identify with, either. This was just the confusing hypocrisy in the adult male mind caused by the society they lived in.
Sometimes sex is just sex. There’s no need to join any club and do what everyone does just because you have a specific fetish or a sporadic desire to explore a new boundary.
“Whatever you say, dude...” Marc said. As fast as his fury had climbed up, it had vanished into the air. He wanted to fight, to shake his friend, and make him see there was nothing wrong with him or what they had done. But this conversation was going nowhere, and he was drained. The pity of the rest of the crew and the distance growing between him and Chris had caused a deeper wound than he’d imagined.
“Yeah, whatever I say. Now, fuck off,” Chris slurred, bumping into his shoulder as he tried stepping up into the bus, only to trip on the first step. “Fucking shit!”
“This is ridiculous.” Marc dragged a palm over his face. His emotions were swaying like a boat in the middle of a storm, heartbreak and rejection creating a dangerous cocktail. “I asked you. I fucking asked you if you were sure about it after you started it, and you said yes.”
The guitarist’s jaw clenched, shifting from side to side. “How many times do you want me to tell you it was a fucking mistake?” He turned around and faced him, gaze completely glassy. “What did you expect? For me to fall in love with you?”
“Guys…” Leah called, but neither of them seemed to want to stop pushing the other.
“Really? From the sounds you were making, seemed to me like you were enjoying it, too.” Marc smirked.
Before he could even register what was happening, Chris punched him in the face, sending him stumbling backwards. He fell against the neighboring bus, his back hitting it so hard he didn’t know what hurt more, his shoulder blades or his cheek.
“Chris!” Leah’s voice thundered as Erik rushed towards them and tried to pull them apart, failing miserably.
“It didn’t mean shit. You were just another body to pass the time.” Chris spat, tightening his grip on the neckline of Marc’s shirt.
His knuckles dug deep into his chest, pushing him up against the metal as his other fist trembled in the air like a threat. The bassist held his ferocious look without retaliating, almost challenging him to hit him again. If this was what he wanted, if this was the outlet he needed to escape from the hole he was in, he would give it to him.
“What the fuck?” Uwe roared when he walked off of their bus, Noah and Colson right behind. “I don’t know what the hell’s happened between you two, but this is not the way to solve your issues.” He shoved Chris back while Erik stood between him and Marc, glaring at both of them.
“This is none of your business,” Chris gritted.
“Maybe not directly, but this shit affects all of us,” Erik countered. “The concerts, the group, the general mood in—”
“Fuck you too!”
“Why the hell do you have to be so rude?” Leah snapped.
“You’re one to talk,” Chris cut, condescension rolling from his tongue.
“What?”
“Now you’re all rainbows and glitter because you’re getting laid, but every time you have a meltdown, we have to deal with your crap and nobody says shit.”
