Tucking a hand under his arm, with his glass in his other, the bassist let out a hefty sigh, getting distracted by a couple dry humping under the jitter of red lights in the corner near their group. This was yet another specimen you could find in certain nightclubs—the two-headed creature who needed a fucking room.
For some, this happened because they were poor as rats and couldn’t afford to pay for a hotel room when they lived far away, or with their parents—life was a bitch sometimes. But Marc had the sensation that these two actually enjoyed being watched because they weren’t even trying to be subtle. The chick had moaned twice, so loud her voice had raised above the harsh melodies of the music pouncing through the massive speakers. Not that he would yuck other people’s yums. Everyone liked what they liked, and honestly, the only thing bothering him right now was how single and uninterested he was in anyone that wasn’t Chris, who was cackling like an idiot with Aussie Blond.
Marc grimaced.
Since his bandmate had been fucking around so much for the last few days, he was colder. It wasn’t cold as in not talking to him at all, but being distant. It was as if he was getting the sexual fix he needed and Marc wasn’t necessary anymore, not even to talk about or share bullshit they saw on social media.
He felt used.
Although he knew the possibilities of upgrading and becoming something more than a friend to Chris were a platonic dream of his, and as much as it hurt sometimes, the bassist didn’t want the dynamics between them to change. He liked it. No, helovedit when Chris was fluttering around him, blurting all these inappropriate things he would never act on. It was thrilling being the center of his full attention. Even if it was for just a few minutes when they sat and talked about anything while smoking, the guitarist ignored the rest of the world. Not to mention the few times Marc had felt his friend might be interested in trying something newwith him.
It could all be in his head, as he was hanging onto the sickly sweetness of illusions that would never become real.Jesus, what a fucking masochist.
With his ears buzzing and his temples thumping, Marc gulped down the last sip of his drink and walked outside to smoke. Maybe being alone, in the silence this lively city allowed, would help ease his chaotic mind.
The big metal door slammed behind him as he moved a couple of meters away from the entrance. The chit-chatting and laughing of a group of people across the street soon transformed into background noise as he lit up a cig and leaned back on the brick wall.
Why was he feeling like a stranger to himself? He wasn’t a pubescent boy crushing for the first time. Though he felt like one, struggling with these emotions he’d tamed for so long. At least that was what he thought.
Sure, he didn’t mind fucking around. But maybe he’d done it so much after Viktor, he’d gotten burned out and needed a relationship with a little more substance. Sadly, trying to date again had only made him even more exhausted.Fake it till you make ithad clearly not worked for him. Not in this department, anyway.
Marc huffed, letting a cloud of smoke seep from his nose.
“What’s biting you?” a familiar voice asked as dragging footsteps got closer.
He raised his head, only to see Aussie Blond stopping an arm’s length away from him.
“Hey.” The bassist tipped his chin up.
“You good?” Ethan asked again.
“Yeah.”
“You sure? You look a little… annoyed?” He got his tobacco packet out of his jeans and plucked a cig with his lips. “Did Chris do something?”
“Huh?”
“Tonight you seemed fine, but I had the impression you weren’t around each other as much these days?” he said, more a question than a statement. “And after the darts, you kinda snuck out and stood there alone, watching everyone like a creep.”
“Nah. We’re good. He’s so intense, some days I just need time away from him.”
Ethan tittered, nodding.
As much as Marc loved Chris, he was so hyperactive that sometimes his calm, almost sloth-like self was too stimulated and his brain started to glitch like it’d been doing during these last few weeks.
He needed to get his shit together, and Chris only knocked down his protections over and over, flipping his world upside down without fucking warning. Maybe him spending the days fucking around and sleeping in between gigs wasn’t that bad.
“I was just overwhelmed in there. Too hot for my liking.” Marc gestured with his head, trying to redirect the conversation to a less personal topic. “You know, I sometimes ask myself why I don’t enjoy going out as much as I did in the past, and then I seethatamount of people, and I’m like, yeah, this is why.”
The expression on Ethan’s face told Marc he wasn’t buying his bullshit. That he knew something was up between him and his friend, or at least on the bassist’s end. That he accepted him not wanting to talk about it, but this lame attempt to change the conversation was only reassuring his thoughts. Luckily for Marc, though, he was sensitive enough to pick up on those small subtleties and left him off the hook easily.
“Yeah, too crowded.” Ethan leaned on the wall beside him. “So…” He cleared his throat. “Is Leah seeing anyone?”
“What?” The bassist raised an eyebrow, surprised by the blunt, out of the blue question. “You into her?” He played dumb, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. It wastooobvious the Aussie liked his bandmate. He’d actually wondered why Ethan hadn’t tried to hit on her yet, or maybe he had, but Marc’s head had been so far up his own ass he hadn’t noticed anything weird going on between them.
“Yeah, nah. Well… I dunno?” Aussie Blond huffed while letting out a cloud of smoke. “She’s hot.” He lifted a shoulder.
Marc smiled cheekily and waited for the guy to continue.
