His ex was standing so close to him that the spicy notes of his cologne assaulted his nose. His heart pounded, waiting for an answer. He had the impression Viktor was luring him into a trap, but like a fly in a spiderweb, he couldn’t move. Did he honestly want to know?
“You could say so. It’s about the turns of life. How it can be anything we want if we fight hard enough. But the most important thing about the whole concept is the person who was always on my mind while I worked on it.” His finger brushed the back of Marc’s free hand.
Pulling away, he slid it under the coat and stared Viktor dead in the eye. “I’m seeing someone.”
“I considered that as a possibility,” Viktor deadpanned, his fingers entangling with the ends of the bassist’s hair that cascaded to his hips. The bassist wanted to run, but the unuttered questions that had haunted him in the past bound him to this man. “I mean… Look at you.” His gaze fell to his mouth before moving back up. “Anyway, is it serious?”
“Viktor,” Marc said curtly, stepping backwards. “Stop it.”
“Is it serious or not?”
“Yeah,” he replied, but Viktor’s quirked brow and a faint but condescending smile said he didn’t buy it. “Listen, the evening has been great. Let’s not ruin it, okay?Thisis not why I came here today.”
“Then why did you come?”
“You asked me to, and Chris suggested that coming might help me put an end to ourhistorysince you never gave me the chance back then.”
“Chris? Is he the one you’re seeing?”
“What if he is?”
He shrugged. “I always wondered how long it’d take for you to make a move on him after we broke up. It was just too obvious you liked him.”
“What?” Marc’s voice echoed in the hall over the muffled noise of the opening party inside, making the receptionist glance in their direction.
“I don’t blame you. The man is attractive.”
“I never had a thing for him,” Marc gritted, lowering his tone to not cause a scene. “Not until after you fucking shredded my heart to pieces and he, without realizing it, put it together again.”
“I’ve regretted every day letting you go. I still—”
“Don’t.” The bassist took a step to the side, ready to leave, but Viktor grabbed his upper arm and squeezed.
“Just look at me and tell me there’s nothing I can do. Tell me you never think about the things we used to do, the understanding, the chemistry we had. Tell me you don’t miss me at all.”
Marc clenched his jaw, and his stomach churned. Had their meeting sparked something in Viktor? Or was this fucking ambush what he had in mind all the time when he’d invited him to the exhibition?
“You can’t do this to me. Not after all this time.”
“Can you blame me for trying?”
“The way you broke up with me and never looked back once… That was a fucking dick move, man,” the bassist continued, dodging his question. He couldn’t believe Viktor, who had always been a model of morality, was doing this. “And now you expect me to do what? Open my arms and welcome you into my life as if nothing had happened?”
“No. I’m aware I’d have a lot of groveling to do to gain your trust, but I’m ready for that. Marc, I was in a really dark place back then. I had no idea what to do or how to get out, and I just… I wanted to die and didn’t want you to see that.” His hand squeezed a little harder. “I know I have no right to do this after so long, but I can’t help it. You’re it for me. Always have been. And now I finally feel I can be the man you truly deserve.”
Conflicting emotions rushed through the bassist’s chest. “I appreciate you doing that for me, but… I-I can’t do this.” He yanked his arm away. “If you think about it, we were probably over before you even left for Ukraine, and now I’m in love with—”
It didn’t hit him until a few seconds after his words got silenced that Viktor was the one who swallowed them. Marc was short-circuited, with thousands of contradicting signals traveling between his body and his brain. He couldn’t tell his head from his feet. Memories from the past crashed against hopes for the future. Everything was receding and advancing. All the anger and despair he had a moment before faded.
Soft. Warm. Bittersweet. Like honey melting in a cup of coffee. Marc remembered the touch of this man as if it were yesterday. His hands. His lips. It was the place he used to come to when he needed comfort, but the air was so rarified now he didn’t recognize it anymore. Pleasure and agony collided inside of him as his eyes closed and he gave in to the kiss, swirling his tongue around Viktor’s. His heart was a mess, aching with the onslaught of emotions.
Fuck!The bassist snapped out of it. Although it was impossible, the first thing he saw was Chris’s reflection in the rain on the other side of the monstrous glass wall in front of him. He was hallucinating, guilt already playing tricks on him, tying an invisible rope around his neck. They might not officially be a couple, but this wasn’t right.
Grabbing Viktor’s wrists, Marc pulled his hands away from his face and put space between them. “I’m sorry…” His breath caught in his throat. “I loved you, I really did… But whatever is left between us is nothing more than the idea of what it could have been.”
“Marc, I…” Viktor let his arms fall to his sides, then bitterly chuckle. “I wish I had been stronger for you, for us.”
“Don’t blame this on yourself. We both did everything we could, and we still fell apart.” He put on his coat, hands still shaking with the discomfort spinning inside of him. “I’d say… we just weren’t meant to be.”
