Csilla shook her head, the words refusing to sink in like oil sliding over water.
‘I don’t understand. The Church’s magic still works, you banished the demon...’
‘That was Mihály. I was useless.’ The words came with a flash of self-loathing even she could see. ‘I don’t think you understand the Seal, Csilla. In fact, I’m starting to suspect none of us did, not really.’
Mihály opened his mouth to speak, but Csilla stopped him with a raised hand.
‘What do you mean?’
‘You know Silgard was founded to be a central gathering point for the angels; that’s where the city’s districts came from. Each territory got a seat, a district, a place for their citizens to stay when they came to the grand Church to gather and celebrate.’
‘Yes, Silgard in glory, and?’ That was the most basic point of Church history, next to the Severing. A significant part of herearly lessons had been reciting the territories, their angels and saints, and learning where they’d made their home in the capital.
‘And after Arany’s sacrifice, we wanted people to know. Priests from all the territories took Silgard’s dirt for their mock seals in their home territories and placed them in their home churches.’
‘Of course they did. Not everyone can travel to Silgard. It was a kindness to have reminders all over the Union.’ The mock seals weren’t powerful except in the way that any visual representation of the Faith was.
‘It’s a kindness we still bleed over with our vows. But those seals and centuries of blood connected us to this city and our angels, feeding the original Seal in loop. And with each polluted district, the connection is severed, the power weakened.’ Ilan flexed his scarred hand. ‘I was confirmed in Saika.’
Whose seat had been in the southernmost part of the city. Where Elmere had been slain.
That district had fallen and taken Ilan’s blessing with it. What was it the woman she had helped said about Ruze? Csilla closed her eyes tightly. She’d said they’d gone through several priests before finding one who could still banish. It must have been one whose home was still tethered. And as each fell, the number of priests who could stand against Shadow shrank.
There were very few confirmed in Silgard itself. The clergy here were more often given the position as a reward.
‘So whoever, whatever it is, they have to kill here next.’ Csilla kept her eyes down, not wanting to see the confirmation. ‘And then what? Even if you catch them...’ The damage had been done. There wouldn’t be any way to strengthen the Seal again. They no longer had any divinity to sacrifice.
‘As long as we can keep faith alive, there’s hope.’ Ilan’s voice was strangely quiet. ‘I’m working on it. But I’d like to speak to you first. In private.’
Csilla blinked, mind still on the horror she’d just been told. ‘About what?’
Ilan’s eyes slid to Mihály, and his hands tightened around her.
‘I’m not going to let you rake me over when I can’t even defend myself.’ Mihály turned her to more firmly look at him. ‘Please assure him that you know all about what I intend to do with Evie’s soul and that it doesn’t bother you.’
He had an awful lot of confidence in her being unbothered.
Ilan tilted his head. ‘Is that true? Are you happy to be his lover?’
The direct question, addressed as she rested in Mihály’s arms, sent a bolt of hot shame through her. She’d told Ilan she didn’t love the Izir, but it would look like a lie.
The inquisitor stepped closer. ‘You know he doesn’t even...’
Mihály’s eyes went white-wild and betrayed. ‘We were inconfession.’
Ilan’s breath was a hiss sucked through clenched teeth.
‘He doesn’t even what?’ Csilla broke from the suddenly loosened grip, stepping closer to Ilan. The stink of Shadow was worse on him. Her hands ached to touch him and brush away the darkness she’d brought him to.
Ilan stepped closer, then back.
‘Don’t go through with what he wants, Csilla. Don’t become someone else. It’s not worth it.’
Not worth it. When her other option was to live a life never being accepted, never serving? Her hands clenched at her sides. It was the easiest thing for him to sit and give judgements about what should be done. The consequences would be entirely on her.
‘If I don’t get a soul, I can’t join the Church...’
‘Then don’t join the Church,’ he snapped, and she jerked back, thumping against Mihály’s over-warm chest. ‘There might notevenbea Church if this continues. If you walk away, at least you won’t be damned. At least you’ll stayyourself.’
