Chapter 15
Christopher straightened his cuffs once more, not out of necessity, but to quell his nerves. As he looked out the window of his family’s London townhome, he found that the day’s weather was much as he anticipated. The evening’s wispy clouds and damp air had given way to heavier rain overnight, ending in a gray and misty morning. The streets, having been doused in rain, had taken on a rather mucky appearance, promising to treat every rider to a full splatter of mud.
The weather matched Christopher’s mood. After his encounter with the earl, nothing could quell the feeling of tension that had settled in the pit of his stomach. The only modicum of comfort was knowing Alaina was unharmed and safe at home.
Since leaving his estate, Christopher had been hounded by a sense of urgency to see Alaina and confess his feelings. He had been overwhelmed by the folly in not professing those feelings sooner.Would Alaina even see him today, after all of his mistakes? Would she understand that he could not have overstepped the boundaries of friendship to pursue her? That even now, his fear of repeating his parent’s mistakes weighed on him?
Feeling the need to look his best, he chose a midnight blue topcoat with tan, close-fitting breeches. Going with his standard riding boots, which he had had cleaned and polished the previous evening, made him feel some level of comfort. His waistcoat was the same midnight blue and topped a crisp white shirt and cravat of the same white linen. Christopher’s valet always made sure every piece of clothing was clean and freshly pressed, but given the gravity of the conversations today, Christopher checked Baldwin’s handiwork so as not to leave anything to chance.
In an effort to call at an appropriate hour, Christopher had tried to make himself busy in his study, but found no matters of great importance, and thus ended up in his current position of studying the misty view out of that window. His contemplation of life was not limited to his present worries, but encompassed the whole of his life, as if the past that stretched out behind him was to determine the future that lay before him.
Both of his parents had died when he was young, his mother before he turned fourteen, and his father a few years later, both to fevers. Even before then, they had been distant, his father preferring to spend time at whatever estate Christopher was not currently residing in. Before her untimely death, his mother was always present in body, but not so in mind. At a younger age, Christopher had remembered more hugs and playtime from his maternal parent, but it had always seemed a distant memory. He had gotten used to the lack of interaction early on, throwing himself into his studies and horseback riding, spending most of his time with tutors or out of doors, until he went away to Eton, where he met Graham.
Christopher had not felt the emptiness of the loss of his parents in body or spirit quite so much until he visited with Graham’s family on their first Christmas holiday from Eton. Graham had learned that Christopher would be spending Christmas at his Rochester country home alone, or if he was lucky, with his drunken father, and quickly insisted he needed company over the holidays. In truth, Graham had applied only minimal pressure before Christopher relented to travel to Ashford instead. Watching Graham and Georgiana tease and torture each other had made Christopher yearn for a sibling, and seeing their parents dote on them, as well as each other, made him yearn for the parents of his much younger years, when laughter had not been so scarce. Spending the holidays with Graham and his family became tradition, and he came to see them as family, as they did with him. The only downside was that they were not his true family, and it was quite possible, as they all moved on in life, that he would cease to be included in their large family gatherings. This thought, along with his blunder in not telling Alaina of his feelings sooner, weighed on him. In trying so hard to preserve his bonds with Graham’s family, he had almost lost out on the chance to make a new one, a household of his own with the woman who occupied all corners of his mind.
Her family was much like Graham’s, from what Christopher could see, and even if she had ended the courtship with Graham, Alaina may not want a life with him. He had been taciturn and unsure at every turn. That said nothing about the fact that without any nuclear family of his own, their life would be quiet, and in his experience, lonely. His closest relative was his cousin, Lord Charles Kendall, Baron of Newhaven. Charles and Christopher were close enough for cousins, and Christopher hoped they could find more time to visit one another, but Charles would one day have a family of his own, with responsibilities and commitments. Christopher wondered,would he alone be enough?
Christopher got up from behind his desk, where he had been blankly staring at piles of unopened correspondence and estate ledgers, nothing terribly pressing, and walked to the window to stare at the small but well-manicured courtyard behind his townhome. Looking at the clock on the mantel of the fireplace, Christopher sighed and tried to push all the doubt from his mind; it was time to go.
With the weather outside, Christopher elected to use his carriage, hoping to make it to the Sinclair townhome still polished. Accepting the outerwear from his butler before stepping out into the elements and into the coach on the street, he steeled himself for what was to come and hoped his heart would be fuller at the end of it.
“Who do you expect to join us? Hardly anyone knows you are out of your sick bed, and to be frank, your doctor would probably not approve of you receiving guests,” Alaina said, mildly annoyed that her father had implied she make herself presentable for them.
It was her mother who responded. “Alaina, dear, after yesterday I insisted your father get checked by the doctor. He was by early this morning. Thankfully, it appears your father, even with yesterday’s exertion, is free to resume normal activities. It seems logical that his friends may come to inquire on his health. He just knows you would want to look your best.”
“Well, is there some reason you waited until breakfast to tell me?” Alaina motioned to the table laden with food. In truth, she was still not very hungry after her near abduction yesterday, and had already finished eating what she could stomach. The shopping trip gone awry had only added to her melancholy. With the hope of Christopher dwindling with every day, Alaina could only wish for their season in London to meet a swift end. While going home to her family’s country seat would not erase what had happened, Alaina could more easily detach there from the unhappy memories of London.
It was Edward’s turn to smooth things over with his eldest. “You were sleeping, sweetheart, we did not want to wake you. It should not be so hard to change, although if you would rather not, you do look charming as you are,” Edward said, his look toward his daughter softening. Alaina looked winsome as always, but after a week by his side and her scare yesterday, Edward thought changing into one of her newer dresses may lift her spirits. Andheknew who was supposed to call this morning.
“Fine, if you think it is best, but I honestly see no purpose. No one is going to come and visitme,” Alaina huffed, stuffing her hope that a certain marquess would call deep inside. She stood up from the table and almost threw her napkin. She made a quick escape upstairs, knowing it would take her some time to complete the modification.
As Alaina made her way up the stairs, it was Charlotte’s turn to ask questions of Edward, once their oldest was out of earshot. “Who could possibly come to call today? And why bother her to change, if you think they will be visiting you? She looks perfectly fine as she is.”
“I agree, my dear. I just think she may feel better in something newer or different than the day dress she has been wearing the past week to help take care of me,” Edward explained, and before his wife could question him further, Edward held out his hand. “And no, I cannot tell you who is to call, as I am not sure they will show. I just want to be prepared.”
Charlotte stared at her husband obliquely, aware she would garner no further information. She had a few guesses, but did not see the point in voicing them. “Well, if Alaina should be prepared, perhaps I should help her.”
As his wife left in much the same manner as his daughter a few moments earlier, Edward chuckled, hopeful that at the end of the day he would be forgiven for his secrecy.
Back downstairs after changing, Alaina sat in the front parlor and tried to focus on the book she was reading. Her mother had joined her upstairs and had been even more flummoxed by her father’s behavior. Nonetheless they had both decided that one of her new day dresses, purchased for the garden party but never worn, was the perfect choice. The dress had a slim and simple silhouette, but the fabric gave the dress its interest. The skirt and sleeves were muslin, with subtle rose-colored stripes of varying widths running vertically down the length of the dress and sleeves. The bodice, save for an insert in the center imitating a full striped dress underneath, was made out of the emerald velvet fabric. It was the same material as her dress on the last night of the party in the country, and was fashioned like a short jacket with mock buttons on the front and a longer look in the back, similar to a spencer jacket. Alaina had yet to wear the dress because its unusual style made her doubt what impression it might make, even with the assurances of the dressmaker, her mother, Evelina, and Georgiana.
Her choice to wear it today was somewhat due to her mother’s insistence not to waste the dress, and partly because Alaina felt that it was the right choice. The velvet of the dress elevated what would have been a very simple day dress, giving it more formality and flair. Unfortunately, Alaina’s mood did not match what she wore. For the past week, she had been worried and focused on her father’s health, and in moments of quiet had mulled over everything that had happened with the duke and Christopher. The more time passed, the more sadness and anger had overtaken her mood, the elation over Christopher’s admission of attraction overshadowed by his lack of commitment.
Alaina sighed at the futility of trying to read. Placing her book on the nearest side table, she stood and slowly walked to the front window. She looked out at the dreary day and numbly noticed that not many people had decided to brave the cold and damp weather. Mostly it was just carriages traversing the cobbled streets, picking up muck and mud as they went.
One such carriage had turned onto her street and came to a halt outside her family’s townhome. Alaina craned her neck to see who the visitor was, even though she knew the futility, the archway covering the front doorway blocking her view. Not able to see the occupants alight from the carriage, Alaina turned her attention back to the coach itself, hoping to find some clue as to who may be visiting her father. Edward had maintained that he was expecting no specific visitors, but the early hour of the call spoke of other circumstances.
Alaina wrinkled her brow, trying to place the coach, but with no luck. Though it was a sizable coach, with rich appointments and a well-maintained team of horses in front, there was no distinguishing crest or emblem to indicate who owned it. Not realizing how much time she had been staring, Alaina barely heard the greeting as the front door opened to allow the visitors to enter. Alaina heard no name as an announcement from the butler or in greeting from Edward, but she could hear their footsteps approach the parlor.
Alaina moved inward, away from the window so as not to be caught staring, and smoothed her hands down the front of her dress. Obviously, whoever was visiting was important to her father.
Edward was first through the parlor door and caught sight of Alaina. “Ah, Alaina, perfect. I was just going to show your guest into the parlor and see to refreshments.”
A visitor for her?Alaina has little time to consider who it might be, when her father stepped aside to allow the guest in question to enter, to her astonishment.
“I trust you remember the Marquess of Rochester,” her father smiled slyly, and Alaina realized he had known all along who would be visiting today. “I will leave you two to catch up on the events of the last week, while I see to a few things and some tea. Always know that Arthur is here to assist. He can hear you in the hallway, as long as the door remains open.”
Edward disappeared through the opening. His message was clear; they were free to talk, but with little expectation of true privacy.
