“Alaina?” came the surprised greeting from Graham.
“Graham,” Alaina quickly righted herself and turned around, bobbing a curtsey in quick acknowledgement and turning the same to Christopher, who was situated directly beside the duke. “Christopher.”
“Well, is this not a pleasant surprise? Forgive my manners, I was just flummoxed to see the person who was just on my mind,” Graham said, recovering from his initial shock. “I had hoped to seek an audience after I cleaned up from my ride, but it seems fate has decreed this to be the opportune moment, Alaina. Would you do me the honor of an audience in my study? I would also like your mother there, if possible. Christopher, would you be so kind as to fetch Lady Charlotte? I assume she is in her room?”
This last question had been directed to Alaina, who nodded her affirmation. Before Christopher could respond, Graham presented his arm to Alaina and started to lead her back down the hallway she had just been exploring. Christopher followed along in silence as they all made their way toward Graham’s study, located just opposite the main staircase. No one spoke, each lost in their own thoughts and anxieties. As they passed the stairs, Alaina heard the click of Christopher’s boots steer away from them and ascend the large marble staircase to the upper chambers, obviously intent on seeking out Lady Charlotte for the upcoming conversation.
Graham’s study was just across from the breakfast room, and he left Alaina’s side briefly to greet the scattered few guests still eating breakfast before departing. As Alaina watched Graham easily converse, totally at ease in his own home, she thought about the possibility of sharing a home with someone; standing at their side, and laughing at some inanity or giving a teasing look to them when it suited her. The difficulty in this rumination was that Alaina could only picture standing by Christopher’s side. Graham was a wonderful, caring, and handsome individual, but she had waited too long, taken too much time to know her heart and her mind. Alaina may never get the opportunity to tell Christopher how she felt. And now she was faced with the fact that there may never be any formal connection between her and the marquess. It was possible that the machinations of her mother and the dowager duchess would have still seen her entertaining courtship with the duke, but from the first, Alaina had been drawn to Christopher. Standing on the precipice of a possible proposal from the duke, Alaina knew what she had to do, but wondered if she had the courage.
It was possible that after today, Alaina may never even see Christopher again. He had looked stunned by her question on their possible future, and his lack of answer on his thoughts of marriage had been a response on its own, and though he seemed interested in her, perhaps without the force of the duke’s friendship, Christopher would not seek out her company on his own. That thought gave Alaina pause. Doubt crept into the back of her mind when she thought of Christopher; maybe he only wished for a dalliance, all his beautiful words said for every purpose except for marriage.
Alaina heard a pair of footsteps approaching from behind. Turning only enough to confirm who approached, Alaina averted her gaze, suddenly unsure of what she should do, and acutely aware of what heartbreak may lay in the future, both her own and that of the duke.
Graham also saw his friend and Charlotte approach, and deftly excused himself from his guests, making his way back to Alaina’s side, seemingly unaware of the tension that to Alaina felt obvious.
Presenting his arm again to Alaina, Graham cleared his throat. “Shall we?” He motioned toward his study.
Alaina nodded and followed ever so slightly behind Graham, keeping her hand on top of his arm. A surreptitious glance over her shoulder allowed her to see that Christopher and her mother followed only a few steps behind.
As they neared the door to Graham’s study, Graham turned to Alaina’s mother and questioned, “Would it be ok to have a moment alone with your daughter, Lady Charlotte? You and Christopher would be just outside the door for only a few moments, and we would keep the door slightly open for propriety.”
“That would be fine with me, as long as it is ok with Alaina,” her mother smiled warmly at Graham, and then glanced at her daughter.
“That is fine,” was all Alaina could manage, unable to meet Christopher or Graham’s eyes.
Having gained Charlotte’s approval for their semi-private tête-à-tête, Graham opened the door to his study, allowing Alaina to enter. He followed her, leaving the door slightly open.
Alaina looked around the duke’s study, taking in her surroundings in an attempt to delay the discussion, if only for a moment. During the past few days, Alaina had observed the diversity of styles throughout the duke’s country manse. It seemed that every parlor, dining room, and bedchamber had different décor, ranging from the overwhelmingly floral room she had just walked from to more serene surroundings. The house seemed to hold the characters of every generation of Ashford women, with very few truly masculine touches. It was this that made Graham’s study stand in stark contrast.
The space was distinctly masculine, with dark leather chairs and rustic animal skin rugs scattered about the floor. Even with the large windows on the wall opposite the door, the darkness of the room meant that Alaina’s eyes took a moment to adjust to her surroundings. As she looked around, she saw piles of papers, some on the large desk in front of the window, and others scattered around the room, on small side tables or on piles of books on the floor. A fire burned bright on the far side of the room, lending warmth. From her time spent with Graham, Alaina could surmise that he had little to do with the décor, but everything to do with the books she saw about, even a few they had oft discussed. The dark furnishings and hunting lodge style did not match Graham’s charming and kind personality, but the controlled mess certainly transformed the study into a perfectly imperfect place.
Graham cleared his throat from behind Alaina. “This was my father’s room before it was mine. I have not had a chance to change anything.”
Alaina turned to meet his gaze, and smiled, crinkling her nose ever so slightly in amusement. “I do not think I agree entirely with your assessment; I see you in some corners.”
“I imagine you mean the mess. My mother and Georgiana always say I should keep a tidier study,” Graham responded, diverting his gaze ever so slightly downward, betraying a boyish nervousness he had not felt in some time.
“Not the mess, the books. But I find it quite charming, actually, giving the impression that someone human resides here. Otherwise, it might be quite unwelcoming.” Alaina hoped she had not insulted the duke, especially with what she knew was bound to come next in their conversation.
Graham cleared his throat. “Well, I had hoped you might find my home in Ashford a charming place. Georgiana has a way of putting our best foot forward as well, which plays to my advantage.” Graham segued, a lopsided and disarming smile finally gracing his face.
“Oh, I have most definitely been charmed by this place, your grace,” Alaina assured him, tentative about what to say next.
Christopher moved away from the study door and went to stand on the other side of the foyer, afraid that if he eavesdropped any further, his heart would be torn from his chest. He watched the door intently, expecting that at any moment, the happy couple would burst forth to share the news. It took every ounce of willpower that Christopher had to stand rooted to his spot, resigned to offer his congratulations should that moment come.
It also, unfortunately, gave him time to consider all of his mistakes. By pushing away Alaina, and the idea of marriage, he was now convinced that he had put in jeopardy his very happiness. And even last night, he had been offered an opportunity to right everything, if he had just admitted to Alaina that his feelings for her overruled his reservations. That a vision of a lifetime with her had taken form in his mind, and could not be uprooted. All these things, Christopher had realized too late, and now he would have to stand aside for his friend, no matter the cost to himself.
Graham looked at Alaina more intently as the silence between them stretched, as if he wished for Alaina to continue speaking. When she did not, Graham was forced to break the silence. “But? It certainly sounds like there is a but in your statement.”
Alaina sighed, feeling no better option than to forge ahead most directly. “But I fear I am not as charmed as I should be, or moreover, no more charmed than a good friend is when they learn pieces of a person they care about. I imagine that is what we are here to discuss?”
Alaina felt a little embarrassed to have stated such a sentiment, especially with no proclamations from the duke. She broke eye contact with Graham, and studied the bear’s head on the rug closest to her.
“Well, I had hoped for otherwise,” Graham stated, moving to stand near the fireplace, resting his arm on the mantel and staring into the flames. After some time, he turned again to face Alaina.
Chuckling, Graham sought to put her mind at ease. “Fear not, Alaina, I had hoped, but felt it was possible you did not feel exactly the same as I did. I assume there was nothing in particular wrong with our courtship?” The last question hung in the air uncomfortably, and Alaina watched a passing grimace cross Graham’s face.
“No, your grace. I am afraid we cannot control matters of the heart so readily, that is all. You are wonderful and will find someone to share in the overwhelming kind of love that both of our sets of parents found, I believe,” Alaina responded, hoping to sound genuine and sincere, for she truly valued her new friendship with Graham and his family.
