“Alright, so what is this? What are we really doinghere?”
Lucas gives me a pitying look as Alexander studies the cut-up wooden table we’re sitting at. Clearly, this is going to be a fight with my louder brother.
“Exactly what I said at the gym,” Lucas says simply, dropping his own menu. “You’re wound up lately. I mean,insanelywound up. You’re killing yourself at the gym, evenwitha fight coming up. You’re going to burn out if you haven’t already. So, what gives?”
I fidget with the saltshaker on the table, spinning it between my hands. “Nothing,” I grumble. “I’m fine.”
“Is it a fighting thing?” Alexander asks.
I look up at my oldest brother in surprise. It’s rare for him to chime in on family discussions, or even to voice his opinion. The fact that he did has me studying him a little more closely.
He looks worried. I mean, he always looks worried, but that’s a result of his days as a Marine. He’s gotten better since he came home, relaxing more, jumping a lot less, but there’s always a part of him that seems stressed. Tonight, though, that’s amplified.
My shoulders immediately droop. I never want to stress my family out, Alexander especially.
I suck in a big breath. “It’s just… I don’t know. I feel restless. You’d think two-a-days would burn me out, but I don’t think it’s a physical thing. I feelaimless.” I straighten, my words coming quicker as my desperate need to explain rises. “Fighting is great, and this isn’t me saying I’m not grateful for this fight and how farI’ve gotten, but… I’m thirty years old. Shouldn’t there be more to life than just my work?”
My brothers exchange a look. “Moreas in,” Lucas starts slowly, “a wife and family? Is this you wanting to settle down?”
I let out a gust of an exhale and lean back in my chair. “No. I don’t know. It sounds ridiculous when you say it like that. I don’t necessarily want…that, I just want…more. I don’t know how to explain it.”
“You could date more,” Alexander says with a slight shrug.
Lucas snorts. “I don’t think that’s possible. The man has more matches on dating apps than I would if I was on them.”
“That’s very helpful, thank you,” I say, sending him a glare. Then I sigh and add, “And anyway, I’m in fight camp. Dating is off the table, regardless. If that’s even the problem, which I’m not sure it is.”
“And it’s not a career thing?” Alexander asks. “Like a feeling fulfilled thing?”
“I doubt it,” I mumble. “Fighting is incredibly fulfilling. It’s not like I’m looking for a new hobby.”
“We could try a pottery class, just to be sure,” Lucas says helpfully.
My glare only narrows. He must sense I’m two seconds away from standing up and leaving because he lifts his hands in surrender. “Sorry, just trying to throw some ideas out there.”
I slump back into my seat. “I think I just need a change. Something new. Someonenew. I don’t know, it sounds stupid and vague.”
My brothers share another curious look.
“We could plan a trip,” Lucas suggests, turning back to me. “Get away for a little bit. Go to a random small town in Europe with no tourists.”
A tired sigh escapes me. “Yeah, maybe.”
“Think about it,” Lucas says. “Even if we only go for a few days. You give me the green light, and I’ll set it up, yeah?”
I nod, but my chest still feels tight. “Yeah, sure. I’ll think about it. Thanks.”
He claps his hands together. “Fantastic. Now that we’ve coveredthattopic, we can focus on getting drunk and sharing more of our feelings.” He points a finger at Alexander. “Starting with howyou’redoing, Marine.”
At that, Alexander’s eyes turn to slits. “Don’t make me hang you on the coat hook behind you,” he growls. He looks to me for backup, but I just shrug.
“Hey, you sprang this intervention onme. This is all you two.”
With perfect timing, the waitress returns with our drinks. She sets everything down on the table, then straightens with a smile.
“Alright, have we decided on any food? Can I get you a starter? Maybe some chips and guacamole?”
“No!” we all shout in unison.
