"Suboptimal!" As an alternative to screaming, I jumped to my feet and paced her office. I wanted to scream at her, but that was not a good look for a friend to have. No doubt she had thought she was helping me, and I was trying to keep that in mind rather than panicking about the fact that one of the “dates” she’d set me up might have permanently ruined my livelihood. It was large enough that I could get almost a dozen steps before I had to turn or run into the stand of potted plants. "I've been blocked, do you know that? It's been, what, two weeks since I had that date? And I haven't been able to draw, paint, sculpt, or anything. I'm blocked."
Anne's face softened and she stood, taking a step toward me. "I didn't know. I'm sorry. This is kind of new to me, too. I'm trying to help these men and women find love here on Earth."
"On Earth?" I plopped back down in my chair, stunned. "Are they aliens? I assumed they'd always been here, but I'd been none the wiser. Are you saying they're from another planet?"
“No, but they’ve been gone from earth for a long time.” She fiddled with her cuff.
How did someone so unsure handle the monsters she matched? Something was odd here. On the other hand, she hadn’t said anything that wasn’t appropriate.
“Why were they sent away?”
She paused for a moment, gazing over my shoulder, then came to a decision. “A long time ago, the races that lived on earth, other than humans, were banished to a place called ‘Dream.’ There’s a wall between here and there that supposedly they could never get through.”
“How long did it take?” ‘Never’ wasn’t a word that worked well with the real world, in my opinion. There was always some way to get through, but apparently, it had taken them a long time to get through it.
“Centuries. But one of them, one of their sneaky rulers, figured out how to come through the barrier. When that happened, I decided that it would be better to set up a peaceful integration, rather than make an invasion their only option.”
I blinked. “So, you set up a dating service to throw unsuspecting human women to them?”
She shook her head and threw her hands up. "No, no, listen. It's not that at all. They aren’t monsters, that’s all from an ancient PR campaign that people still believe. As for the muse, seriously, your creativity will come back. The loss isn’t permanent. There are jerks in any species. Second, don't give up on these men. I believe you'll find they're just like human men in the ways that matter. Everyone has quirks, right?"
She was right about that. And I was certainly intrigued by the prospect once the initial reaction passed. Dating monsters. Couldn't be worse than the guy I’d dated the entire last year of college…"They're not dangerous?"
"No more danger than you might be in from meeting a human. Anyone can be crazy. But we vet these men the same as the humans who use our service. They even go through psychological testing. I promise."
I sighed and rubbed my temples. "Fine. I suppose it couldn't hurt to give them another shot. Except for muses. No more of anyone who could take anything from me like that." I shuddered again at the thought. It was an invasion, and it sickened me to think that my art could have been taken from me so easily. I might never have known why, or how it had happened and would have just gone on believing that it was simply part of life. "But I'm still not sure why any of them are interested in me. I mean, no offense, but what's so special about me?"
Anne smiled and patted my shoulder. "To start with, you're open-minded and flexible. You just found out you went on a date with a werewolf, a muse, and a dwarf, and you're not running out the door screaming. You seem madder that you were in the dark about it than the fact it happened."
"I suppose that's true." I glared up at her. "Is there anything else?"
"Well, some of these men are positively charming. Handsome, smart, rich, everything you could want in a man. Give it a shot. I promise I won't let you go with someone else like a muse."
It was difficult not to grit my teeth together. "How'd you even get into this mess, anyway?"
"They want to come back to Earth. They have as much right to be here as we do. Every creature who originated here on this planet should be here and we should learn to coexist."
"So, you're a matchmaker for the paranormal?" I asked, incredulous.
Anne laughed and nodded. "I guess I am. Once I found out about their plight, I knew I had to help. I've been doing a series of ads that magically target monsters, so they'll come in and register for my service."
"Why?"
She leaned close. "To tell you the truth, I like the idea of being the spider building the web that catches all the bugs." With a shrug, she leaned back. "I think we're making history here. Plus, I do like helping people find love. What's more challenging than helping monsters find love? It’s really spiced up my life."
I sighed and tapped my fingers on the arm of the chair. She was right about that. How many people could say they'd had a date with a dwarf? Let alone a werewolf and a muse. “What kind of monsters are we talking about?”
She tapped the keyboard on her laptop to pull something up. "You're scheduled with a fox shifter next. They're nothing like the weres, don't worry. He's not super hairy. If that didn't work out, I was going to set you up with a troll, then a vampire. And that's your six."
I knew it! Trollswerereal. That had to be what Bran was. A troll. I felt a little better having figured it out, even though it wasn’t all that important. "Say I go for it. What's the shifter like?"
"He's a fox, and he's foxy." She giggled. "I really like him. He's funny and seems like he's got an air of mystery about him. Come on."
"I'm not saying yes." I folded my arms in front of my chest as Anne seemed to deflate a little. I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. She was trying her best, and I didn’t have the heart to burst her bubble like this. Besides, what was the worst that could happen? I had some interesting dates with some hot monsters? They couldn’t be any worse than the human men I’d dated, and at least a werewolf might have a reason to be hairier than a Sasquatch. "But I'm also not saying no."
She brightened right up. "Now that's my girl."
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