"Okay," Michael said. "Let's pull back and give him a second to process."
I knew what Lucifer was going through. His human memories would be trying to crowd out his eternal memories. He'd be confused and resist the old memories crowding in.
Too bad, my love. Time to remember.
Lucian gasped again. Michael sat beside him
It was time to start thinking of him as Lucifer again. I couldn't believe this had worked. If we could've gotten the bigger Object that Raphael had hidden, we could've broken through the wall on his mind and destroyed his curse. But it had taken us so long to break through his memory block that I'd worried it wouldn't happen. We couldn't do more with this sliver of the True Cross.
"Lilith." Lucifer looked at me with wide eyes. "Why do I remember?"
His hands shook as he raised them to sweep his hair out of his eyes. He stopped and studied the skin on the back of his knuckles. "How old am I?"
I chuckled and walked around the table to grab his hand. "We're in a pickle, Luc. What do you remember?"
After blinking and looking at Gabe and Michael with a lot of confusion, he turned his gaze to me. "Everything, I guess. Shouldn't we be back in Hell?"
Michael clapped him on the back. "That's why we're here, my friend."
Lucian moved in slow motion, rubbing his hand across his face. "Why don't you just kill me? You had to do that once before."
Gabriel chuckled. "You better believe I've tried. The last time you lived too long it was just a fluke. You've got a curse on you this time. I tried to kill you so hard I almost killed myself."
"It's true," I whispered.
"Curse," Lucifer muttered. "I remember." His eyes widened. "How do I remember?"
I shrugged. "When did this happen?"
He furrowed his brow and rubbed his face again. "In utero. I shouldn't be able to remember this."
Wow. That was a new one to me. I'd never remembered anything from my human lives earlier than a normal human would. "Do you remember events after the curse?"
He shook his head. "No, but I remember Raphael cursing me as plain as if it had happened yesterday."
"Did he use theLignumCrucis?" Gabriel asked. He leaned forward, eager to hear Lucifer's explanation.
"Yeah, I think so. I couldn't see anything, but I heard him. And you know everyone's magic tastes and feels different." I nodded my head. Lucifer, Gabriel, and Michael would be able to pick my magic out of a lineup, and I theirs.
"He had something that had the power of God. The True Cross would make sense." Lucifer stood. "We have to do something."
He strode to the sink and grabbed a knife. Pressing it to his skin, he sliced, but the knife fell out of his hand and clattered into the sink, leaving only a thin red line behind. Lucifer hissed in a breath. "Dang, that stings."
He slammed his hand down on the counter, then picked the knife up out of the sink. Turning the point toward him, he grunted then pulled it toward his neck in a fast, hard motion. I stood with my mouth open as the knife slid past his neck and flew across the kitchen. It landed in the opposite wall, the handle bobbing back and forth.
"Of all the silly things," Lucifer said.
"Luc." I tried a gentle voice. "Honey, we need to talk. You'll get someone hurt trying to kill yourself. You can't just die."
"Why?" he roared, upset and frustrated.
I shrugged. "Curse."
He looked me over for the first time. "Lilith." His face fell, and he held open his arms. "The baby. Oh, no."
A sob bubbled up his throat and broke free as I wrapped my arms around him. "I know."
"Is she safe?" he asked into my hair. Michael and Gabriel came and stood close, providing comfort as Lucifer realized his daughter was lost to him.
