“That’s another conversation I want to have. Where are their parents?”
“It’s a different story for each child, but rest assured, none of them went through what you did,” Elias said in a soothing tone.
“So, you had no intention of telling me anything. What about your feelings for me?”
“What about them, Coya?” Anthony stood. “You have to understand. It is expressly forbidden for us to enter a relationship with a human. It’s understood that there will be lusts, and one-night stands, especially given that our bites cause spontaneous orgasms. It’s a hand slap if you get a human pregnant, and there are measures to prevent the human from going through too much heartache. We aren’t cruel, generally speaking.” He moved back and forth, talking with his hands.
“So, it’s just okay to take the kids away?”
“It’s not okay, but itisnecessary,” replied Elias. “Can you imagine how you’d react if David suddenly had overwhelming cravings for blood, or you took him to buy new school shoes and everyone in the mall followed him around like he was the Messiah?”
“I know. I get it. I’d already got to that conclusion in my own mind before asking, I just wanted to hear it straight. It’s a necessary evil.” The baby gave an especially sharp jab to my bladder, so I stood and paced the floor opposite Anthony, hoping he’d lay off if I walked around. “But what about me? You’d already broken a ton of rules by sticking around me.”
“We were going to be forced, and very soon, to let you go. But then David began showing signs of being extra special and we thought you must have something to do with it.” Elias joined us, pacing around the coffee table. “Why are we walking circles?” he asked.
“It helps me think,” Anthony said.
At the same time, I said, “Because the baby is kicking my bladder.”
“That’s another conversation we need to have again before the baby is due. Who is the father—” Anthony said.
I kept pacing without looking at him. “Elias and I woke up in the night before we left with Mama Pacha for the portal. We did it in the room next door. Which, by the way,” I wagged a finger, “was totally empty! We could’ve used two rooms just fine and they said they were booked.”
“Well, then. It could be any of us.” He eyeballed Elias, who shrugged.
I nodded my head. “Yup.” I sighed. Back to the matter at hand. “You were contemplating forcing me to move on. Then you found out about David and decided you’d pretend to be an FBI agent? What sort of nonsense stupid move was that? You’re both smarter than that.”
Anthony grunted. “I know, it was dumb. I wish we’d handled it differently. We thought we could get you to make statements and somehow get some information out of you that might indicate if you had Unseen blood or not.”
“You didn’t think that in the four years of conversations and time spent with Elias, in all that time I wouldn’t have dropped something? If I hadn’t dropped any clues by then, what made you think you could get some out of me?”
Anthony stopped and I nearly ran into him. “I told you, Riley.” He turned and grabbed my arms. “I had to know you. I needed to be in your life and have you in mine.”
“So that’s it then. You would’ve followed the law and never told me anything true if I hadn’t turned out to be Unseen.” On either side of me, they nodded.
“I need to process. I’m going back to the pool.”
I still had the towel wrapped around me, so I just dropped it out on the patio and walked down the steps to sink into the cool water. My heat had been rising again, even though I wasn’t feeling particularly angry anymore. Just confused.
They’d been raised to not consort with humans. It was preferable not to interact with them at all. They’d broken the unwritten rule by befriending me. The moment they told me the truth, we’d assumed the Junta was after us for telling, but in reality, they were after us to capture me, since they’d also figured out, somehow, that I was Unseen.
If they hadn’t intervened when they did, I would be locked up in a gilded cage, having babies for the Unseen’s twisted Council.
I let out a groan of frustration and rolled over to swim some aggression out. I was beginning to understand why they did what they did, but I couldn’t let go of the anger.
Swimming wasn’t helping. Sex didn’t help. Axoular had been telling me I needed to let my fire out occasionally, or it would build up and fester inside.
Maybe he was right. He’d been trying to teach me to let go and let it out when I chose, not when my emotions overloaded, and I had no choice.
I ambled up the steps, out of the pool, and grabbed my towel, with a little difficulty reaching it on the ground. I settled it around my waist and grabbed another to take to the beach. Once I was as close to the water as I could get without getting wet, I sat on the spare towel and crisscrossed my legs. Placing my hands on my knees and straightening my spine, I attempted to meditate.
Supposedly, if I did it correctly, I’d be able to find the flame inside myself and draw it out to do what I wanted it to do. I focused on the sound of the waves, eyes closed, and searched deep within myself. I thought I found it once, but I just needed to burp.
I blew out a big breath and tried again. Blanking my mind to the sound of the ocean was the easy part. Searching within was harder.How does one search within? Am I suddenly supposed to be able to see inside my body?
Why not try that? I envisioned my body, the baby inside, head down, sucking on his thumb. I had a basic understanding of where my bones and organs were located, so I imagined them where they should be. I saw breast tissue and a generous layer of fat. I saw my stomach muscles as they separated around my babe. I was so engrossed in trying to add parts of my inner body to my imagined picture that I almost missed the fire.
It was everywhere. In my blood, lapping around my baby, keeping him warm and snug. A conflagration around my organs. I saw it and I focused on it. It burned brighter, and my skin grew hot. I lifted my left hand, eyes still closed, and focused the inferno into my palm.
