She laughed. “It’s true. I ended things with Harry because he made me feel like I didn’t matter. Like I didn’t exist. I’d try to look prettier, or cook more, or clean more. I’d go online and find clever stories to share with him. But no matter what I did, it wasn’t enough. So, I saw a therapist. And I realized… well, he was a jerk. But that wasn’t enough for me. I didn’t want to just realize it wasn’t all my fault, I wanted to not make the same mistake again. You guys have been encouraging me to date Marquis, but I honestly didn’t feel ready until now. I wanted to make sure that if I started dating someone again, I wouldn’t fall into the same pattern, or pick the same type of loser who doesn’t know what he has until it’s gone.”
“Maybe I should’ve gone to therapy,” Carol said softly.
We all turned and looked at her, waiting. Carol was always so calm and cheerful. She never seemed to want to share anything too deep. She’d smile and knit, and then surprise us with something we never even realized. But she couldn’t be rushed, and we all knew it.
She began to pick at the rainbow colored butterflies she’d sewn all over her bright yellow pants. “I felt like Bryan was the one. Deep in my heart. And maybe a therapist could’ve helped me realize that if he was the one, he wouldn’t have just abandoned me and left without a word. Maybe I could’ve found someone else.”
“Do you want someone else?” Deva asked quietly.
Carol was silent for a painfully long moment. “No, but I also think it’s crazy that I’ve been pining for him all these years.”
“That doesn’t make you crazy,” I said.
Her misty blue eyes met mine hesitantly. “Are you sure? Because most people would think I was crazy.”
I reached out and squeezed her hand. “If you’re crazy, we all are.”
And then we were all laughing.
“We’re quite a group,” Deva said, running her hands over her short, dark hair in a nervous gesture.
“And I wouldn’t have it any other way,” I said, giving her my best reassuring look.
Everyone smiled.
And then, one of the toads made a terrible sound, and we all looked down. Oh yeah, there was still that to deal with. And yet, I didn’t feel any anger when I looked at them now. I just felt a deep need to move on. They were my past, not my future.
“Well, now what?” Deva asked. “You know, youcouldleave them like that. Or put them in a terrarium and every time you think about how he hurt you, look at your pet toads. “
The idea didn’t sound horrible, but I chuckled. “No, I’ve realized I’ve lost most of my anger. I just want to put him behind me and start my new life in Mystic Hollow.”
Beth put her arm around my shoulders. “That sounds like you’re processing your emotions well. We’re so proud of you.”
I chuckled and stared down at the handiwork of my volatile magic. Yeah,nowI was processing my emotions in a healthy way. And yet, even though I had much better control over my magic, I still had no idea how to change them back. “But how do I fix this?” I asked. “Now that I don’t care what sort of lesson they do or don’t learn, and I’m ready to turn them back into humans, how does Karma… let go of a grudge?”
“Maybe just concentrate on them and that feeling?” Carol suggested.
I focused on them, trying to lasso my power and send it toward the toads sitting on the kitchen floor, but nothing happened. A headache began in the middle of my forehead. But I kept focusing, and still, nothing happened.
“Maybe we can help,” Beth said. “Just think that Karma has been appeased and we’ll lend you our power, too.”
“Okay,” I whispered and focused again as my friends put their hands on my back. It was strange how I felt their magic wash over me. It was almost like feeling the love from a friend through the phone. It made every hair on my body stand on end, and I swore I could sense each of them separately.
Beth’s magic was like her. She was short in stature, but never in heart. I pictured her taking out her earrings, ready to fight my neighbor. Her magic felt like that, like something small but powerful. I sensed her connection to the world too. It was like a pink web spreading out to all the other life, and connecting her in a way that was beautiful.
Deva’s magic came with a scent like the most delicious cookies in the world. I could practically see her. A strong black woman who ventured out and started her own business. She’d worked day and night, and her magic weaved through every piece of food she made. And yet, it was more than that. Her food touched people. It became a part of them. It soothed them when they were struggling, made them laugh, and even cry.
Carol’s magic was beautiful. A rainbow of colors like her knitting. But notjustlike her knitting, like her outfits, which were always wild and creative. Like her hair, that always had a certain lovable messiness. Like her spirit. If she were an animal, I got the craziest feeling she’d be a pegasus. That she’d be like the sun and the moon and the wind, altogether.
“Focus, Emma,” Beth whispered.
I felt tears blur my eyes. “You’re all just so beautiful. You, your magic, it’s beautiful, just like you.”
“You can compliment us later,” Deva said, laughter in her voice. “Fix the toads.”
Right, focus! I pulled my focus from the magic to the two toads, and then felt my friends’ magic weaving with my own. It felt right...stronger.
“They don't need me to punish them,” I muttered as I focused.And this isn’t justice, or karmic justice any longer.
