Just in time, I hung up the phone. The water in our master bathroom shut off. Lucian's hums echoed off the bathroom walls. Closing my eyes, I tried to push back the pain of knowing what was coming as soon as he was ready.
I wasn't strong enough to see Lucian off to work without him knowing something was majorly wrong with me, so I put my phone on silent and scurried back to bed.
Throwing the covers over my shoulder, I buried my face in the pillow and feigned sleep.
Lucian got ready quietly as he often did if I wasn't awake when he left. Before the pregnancy that had never happened, but now I'd spent a lot of mornings sleeping in.
"Goodbye, love," he whispered. I hadn't cracked an eye for fear he'd realize I was faking. "I love you and our Turtle."
My heart splintered into a million pieces when he said that. He was going to come home to no baby and remember thousands of years of memories. He had no idea what a hard evening he'd be having, but I did, and I hurt for him and me both.
Staying in the bed, I rolled over to my other side and didn't move until the sound of the garage door opening made my eyes fly open. I rolled out of bed as fast as I could, which wasn't very fast, and peered out of the window to watch Lucian pull away. When I turned around, Michael and Gabriel stood in the doorway of my bedroom.
"Hey," Michael murmured. "You okay?"
I dissolved into tears, sinking down onto the soft carpet. They launched toward me and had their arms around me before my butt hit the ground. My tears flowed for a while as they rocked me back and forth. A cold nose pressing into my arm made me pause my hysteria.
"Aw, Jellybean. Are you worried about Mama?" I laughed through my tears as he tried to climb into my lap. My big belly made that nearly impossible for him to do. His distraction helped me, though, and I sucked in a deep breath.
I was Lilith, Queen of Hell, one of the original Fallen. Mother of the demons and one of the most powerful females in existence. I could do this. The pain would pass, and before I knew it, I'd be able to see my girl again and introduce her to Lucifer. We'd figure out a way to be in her life, one way or another.
I could do this.
Struggling to roll over, I waited until Michael and Gabriel realized I was trying to stand. Once they did, they jumped up and pulled me to my feet.
"How is this going to work?" I asked.
"It can be painless," Michael said. "You still have to deliver the baby, but we will make it fast and remove all pain."
I considered letting him do that. "No. I do want you to make it fast, but I want the pain."
Gabriel rubbed my arms from behind. "You don't have to do that."
"No. The pain is mine." I wanted to remember every bit of it. I never wanted the memory to slip away, and the pain was a way I could control that.
"Sandalphon is downstairs. He can make sure you and the baby are both safe during the delivery and help you after," Michael said. "I will help as well, but I have no experience with actual labor or delivery."
"I know nothing about any of this," Gabe said with a bland smile. "I'm just here for emotional support."
I nodded. "Fine." It hurt that Lucifer couldn't be here, but we had no choice but to get this done so we could get him back. I moved to the bed and shimmied out of my panties as Gabriel left the room to get Sandalphon. I left them on the floor, not caring a bit at the moment. Hiking my nightgown up, I sat on the bed with it gathered around my waist, then pulled the blankets up to cover me.
"How fast?" I asked when they returned.
"You'll deliver in minutes." Sandalphon set a small pile of soft, pink blankets at the foot of the bed. "Let me offer again to mask your pain."
"No." I left no room for argument in my tone. "Don't ask me again."
They didn't. Michael climbed into the bed beside me. "I'm mainly here for healing and support. Sandalphon is going to do the heavy lifting."
I snorted. "I believe I'll be doing the heavy lifting."
Michael chuckled and put his arm around me. Gabe stood beside me and took my hand. "Squeeze as hard as you want to."
"Okay, Sandy" I gripped Gabriel's hand as hard as I could, trying not to be mad at the cherub that had both cursed and blessed me with a pregnancy. "Let's do this. How does it work?"
"I've done this very few times," he said. "And if it goes like it did before, you'll feel a few moments of intense pain, and that is your body going through the laboring process at a much-accelerated pace. Then the delivery will be extremely painful, but also very fast. And then Michael will make sure your body heals as I help your uterus shrink to normal size. Together we will make your body go through essentially six weeks of healing in about..." He squinted his eyes as he considered. "Maybe three hours."
"Will that part hurt?" I asked, but I already knew the answer.
