Zeus was a very soothing horse. Cade relaxed as he concentrated on feeding and grooming. He didn’t want to think how Tamsyn would soon be rummaging around in his mind. He admitted to himself that though he desperately wanted to be restored to his usual clarity and competence, he was afraid of what Tam might find. He was sure there would be emotions and crude male thoughts that would embarrass them both, and perhaps damage their relationship. But to stay in his present state was impossible.
Chopped wood was stored in a corner of the shed so he gathered a heaping armful and headed inside. When he reentered the cottage, he stacked the wood by the fireplace, then accepted the steaming hot cup of tea Tamsyn offered. He sipped it with pleasure. “Something smells good.”
“Just eggs and toast, but warm food always tastes particularly good on cool spring mornings.” Tamsyn scooped the eggs onto a pair of plain pottery plates, then added toasted and buttered bread. His portions were double hers, only reasonable since he was twice her size.
He set the plates on the table. “I can’t remember when I last had a hot meal.”
“What were you fed?”
He shrugged as he sat down. “Stale bread and cheese, mostly. The cheese was usually decent.”
Tam sat opposite him and they both dug into their eggs. When Cade’s plate was empty, he said tentatively, “I have a feeling that you’ve made many breakfasts for me.”
She nodded. “You’re quite a decent plain cook yourself.”
He drew a slow breath. “So many holes in my memory!”
“Not for much longer,” Tam said quietly. “Are you ready to have your mind restored?”
“Yes.” After a long pause, he said, “But . . . I’m worried about what you’ll find.”
“No need to be.” She smiled as she collected the dishes and moved them to the kitchen area. “We’ve known each other for most of our lives, Cade, so I doubt I’ll find too many surprises. Besides, mind healers are hard to shock.”
Maybe she wasn’t shocked by what she found in the minds of strangers, but the mind of someone she knew might be more disturbing. He couldn’t bear it if she ended up hating him, but she was his only hope of regaining himself.
Tamping down his fear, he said, “I think I’ve seen you clear someone else’s mind, but I don’t remember how it’s done.”
“The process is different for each person. You have seen me do this before and the results have always been good. At least, so far,” she said reassuringly. “Let’s move to the settle, where it’s wide enough for both of us to sit.”
“I’ll pad it with some blankets,” he suggested.
“A good idea,” she agreed. “This will take a while.”
He spread two blankets over the settle to soften the bare wood, then sat at one end. “Now what?”
“I’ll take one of your hands and place my other palm on your forehead.”
He flinched, remembering his captor’s torturing hands. “Like Bastien?”
She looked apologetic. “Sorry, but yes, that’s what works best. The difference is that I’m clearing your mind, not blocking it. I don’t think it will hurt physically, but it will probably be disturbing. Confusing. Like being trapped in a dream or a nightmare. Trust me. Soon you’ll be yourself again, but it will take time to clear away everything that isn’t you.”
He did trust her. “Then let us begin,” he said grimly.
She clasped his right hand in her left, then leaned forward and rested her warm right palm on his forehead. She must feel that he was rigid with anxiety, but she said only, “Relax, my dear. You’ll feel me inside your mind. Not much different from the way we kept in touch with each other when you were a prisoner.”
He liked the idea of that closeness because she’d been his link to sanity as well, mitigating the worst of the pain. He closed his eyes and welcomed the increased closeness between them as she gently began exploring his mind.
But this was more than the warm contact they’d maintained since he was captured. Her power brought welcome clarity, but the blazing light illuminating his mind was also intense and disturbing and shockingly intimate. His instinct was to fight this mental invasion, and it took all of his willpower not to jerk away from her hand.
Surely reading his mind, she whispered, “I know you’re not liking this, but you’re doing a fine job of allowing me in to do my work. Are you beginning to feel some lightening of the bonds?”
He realized that he could, so he gave a rough nod. “How much longer?”
“I’m not sure,” she said honestly. “The blocks are very complex and strong. But I am stronger. Keep trusting me.”
“I will.” Though the mind blocks were fading, he wasn’t sure how much more of this invasion he could take. Or how much more Tam could do; despite her calm, he sensed that her power was waning.
Dear God, how much longer?
