It was all true. She had been a fool, and there was no changing it. Alex had told her to avoid Sir Edward, she had known that Christa didn’t like him, yet she had run headlong into his arms, willing to believe him the embodiment of her romantic fantasies. Annabelle had no one to blame but herself.
Yet she was blessed in so many ways, with wealth and position, two brothers who loved her, a growing circle of friends, even passable good looks. All that, and she was hiding in her room like a badger in its sett.
Annabelle knew that Christa herself had lost her family and her home to revolution, yet the French girl had never been anything but cheerful, generous, and loving. Annabelle could understand why her maid despised her, and a wave of self-loathing started sweeping over her.
Stop that! Her fingers clenched on the brocade curtains, and she squared her shoulders. She could not change her past mistakes, but she could try to avoid making the same ones in the future. And to the extent possible, it was time to make amends. Without realizing it, as Annabelle crossed the room she was taking the first long step from childhood to maturity.
Annabelle knocked at Christa’s door, then entered before she could be refused admittance. She was shocked to see the half-packed portmanteau. Her maid straightened and looked at her warily.
Lifting her head a little, Annabelle said, “I owe you an apology. It cannot be easy living with the heroine of a Cheltenham tragedy. I have put you to considerable trouble and distress these last days, and I hope you will forgive me.”
Christa was for once at a loss for words. After a flustered moment, she said, “I should not have ripped up at you so.”
“If you hadn’t, I would still be lying in there like Ophelia drowning.” Annabelle paused, then said diffidently, “I know that my hen-hearted behavior has given you a disgust of me, but I pray you will reconsider and stay here.” With the ghost of a smile, she added, “I will need guidance on how to be more spirited, and I doubt I could find a better teacher than you.”
Christa flushed. “Of course, I shall stay if you wish me to. I promise to keep a better guard on my tongue.”
“Oh, don’t do that! I need someone to put me in my place now and then, and my brother is far too polite.”
The two girls looked at each other, then suddenly they were laughing, a little weakly perhaps, but with genuine amusement. When they had sobered, Annabelle asked, “Do you know if my brother is at home now?” After Christa’s nod, she said, “Will you help to make me more presentable? I must talk to him.”
Christa felt almost giddy with relief. “Of course, Miss Annabelle.” If her mistress was concerned about her appearance, she was definitely back among the living. And Christa would not have to leave the Kingsleys.
* * *
Alex pushed the sheet of foolscap away with a sigh. He had been working at home more than at the Admiralty for the last week, but his concern for his sister eroded his writing ability. He had had ample time to chastise himself for his former naive belief that being head of a family was easy. He half expected to hear from Eton that Jonathan had impregnated three different girls and all of the fathers were demanding marriage. Or worse.
He looked up at the sound of footsteps to see his sister approaching. Annabelle looked thinner but composed, her hair freshly styled and her dress a flattering soft blue that put a little color in her cheeks.
He stood and said, “Belle! It’s good to see you up again. How are you feeling?”
She smiled self-consciously. “Much better. Christa read me the riot act a short while ago, and I have decided it is time to stop feeling sorry for myself.” She swallowed, then said, “I am truly sorry for the trouble I have caused you, Alex.”
He had come around his desk and was leaning against the front of it several feet away from her. He looked tired, and his voice was low when he said, “Why did you run away without even trying to talk to me, Belle? Were you afraid of me? I had thought we were friends.”
For the first time, Annabelle looked at him clearly, not as the omnipotent big brother whom she had placed on a pedestal, but as an individual. With a pang of shame, she saw him unconsciously rub his left side as if trying to relieve a habitual pain. She had known that he was gravely wounded scarcely six months before, yet had accepted his blithe assurances that he was completely well now. His own sister had seen less than a servant.
Now she could see her brother as a man who had known pain and loneliness, depression and self-doubt, and who needed her friendship as much as she needed his. Her mental pedestal crumbled away, and he seemed both nearer and dearer in its absence. With a rush of affection Annabelle hugged him, carefully, so as not to injure his side. “I haven’t understood friendship very well, Alex. But I promise I shall do better in the future.”
He hugged her back, hard, then held her away from him. “Next time you take it into your head to get married, will you at least talk to me first?” His amber eyes searched hers.
She smiled at him. “Of course! A man who won’t meet my family isn’t worth the knowing. Tell me,” she asked curiously, “did Father really make no provision for Jonathan and me?”
Alex nodded. “Entirely true. There were instructions in case I died before he did, but not much more.” He thought a moment. The continually increasing pain in his side made him aware that the shell fragment was shifting, and he had recently made sure that his affairs would be left in order.
“This is probably as good a time as any to explain what I have done for you and Jonathan. There are trusts being set up for each of you, with the income becoming available when you reach your maturity. Next week, in your case. Until the age of thirty, you would need my agreement to spend any capital. After that, it’s entirely your own. If something should happen to me, you and the family lawyer will be joint guardians of Jonathan until he is twenty-one.”
Annabelle looked at him very seriously. “Is anything going to happen to you, Alex?”
He smiled casually. “Not that I know of. It’s merely good sense that a man in my position make a will.”
Since Alex didn’t want to discuss his health, Annabelle changed the subject after making a mental note to watch her brother more closely. “So if Sir Edward had waited, he could have had me and a fortune with no strings attached.”
“Exactly. I can only be grateful that he was precipitate.”
Annabelle shuddered. “I couldn’t agree more! Though now that I think of it, the experience was all very educational. The next fortune hunter will have to bemuchmore convincing.” She suddenly giggled. “You were quite splendid. Are you really so bloodthirsty as you led Sir Edward to believe?”
Alex chuckled. “I wouldn’t describe myself as bloodthirsty, though I can do what is necessary. After seeing what a Bartholomew baby he was, I was sure words would suffice.”
