Alex watched until she was safely inside, his fingers stroking the flat white pebble she had given him. He placed it in his pocket for safekeeping, then turned and walked back to the shore through the darkness. Christa was becoming an unexpected problem. He had never met a woman who attracted him more, and he had opened up to her in a way unique in his experience. Her lively mind and wise understanding were as appealing as her delectable body; had she been a woman of experience, they might have enjoyed each other freely and without guilt. Had Christa been of his own station, he might have courted her.
But for all her sangfroid and delightful lack of missishness, there was an innocence in her response that convinced him that Christa was a virgin, doubtless of God-fearing peasant stock. And she worked for him. Alex had always despised men of his order who took advantage of the women in their households. It was not unknown for alleged gentlemen to throw maids out in the streets after their masters had impregnated them; he’d heard that half the drabs in London began that way.
If Alex indulged his desires with Christa, he would change her life, and not for the better. There were ways to prevent babies, but they were unreliable, particularly over a long affair, and a single night with Christa could not possibly be enough. He had no desire for his firstborn child to be illegitimate, and bearing a bastard might stand in the way of Christa’s marrying a man of her own station. Or if she refused to accept that disgrace, she might find a back-street abortionist, with all the risks that entailed.
Alex shuddered at the picture. All of that bright life tarnished or destroyed—it would not happen at his hands. But he could feel her lips still, and the memory of her warm body pressed into his....
He had been too long without a woman. When they returned to London, perhaps he should look around for a wife. Alex would be thirty soon, a good age to be setting up a nursery. In the meantime, he would enjoy the summer, would take dancing lessons with Christa, have her on his boat, and treat her with as much circumspection as if she were a lady herself.
A sharp pain stabbed near his ribs as he sat down on the shore to watch the pale breaking waves, and Alex smiled without humor. He had no doubt that Peter Harrington had been right in his speculation that a shell fragment was still embedded in Alex’s left side. It was there and moving. From what Peter said, the odds were about even whether it would work its way out or kill him. Thoughts of marriage might prove moot.
* * *
Christa rolled over on her narrow cot and punched the pillow viciously, seeking an elusive comfort that might let her sleep. She had gone through the motions of putting Annabelle to bed, but her thoughts had been elsewhere. Now, with no distractions, her mind and body were vividly recalling the embrace on the beach.
In the wake of that discussion, it had seemed such a natural thing to let Alex kiss her. He was a most attractive man, and no one would be harmed by it. Her body’s traitorous reaction was entirely new in her experience and threatened to sweep away her prized common sense. Even now, hours later, she could taste his lips and the warm depths of his mouth. Alex had been gentle, yet the memory of his tall muscular strength hinted at a power and passion beyond her experience. Christa was aware that no amount of reading could match reality, and she had a sudden craving to supplement her book learning with experience.
She sat up, carefully straightened the blanket and her twisted nightdress, then lay back and smoothed both neatly over her. Prim as a nun, Christa considered the drawbacks and advantages of a love affair. There was something unbearably tawdry about being tumbled by her employer, and the consequences of that could be disastrous in her present situation. She was a d’Estelle and had far too much pride to give herself to a man who found her passingly attractive. While she was sure Alex Kingsley was sincere in his way, Christa knew that men were slaves to their passions—what would be a pleasant interlude for him would be far more significant to her.
Christa felt a brief stab of fury at the circumstances that brought the two together when there was an unbridgeable social gulf between them. Had it not been for the revolution, her birth and fortune would have more than matched his, and they could have met as equals, free to work out a future if they chose.
She ruthlessly suppressed the thought; life had little to do with fairness, and she must work with what it had given her. She would admire her master from afar, keeping her emotions rigidly in check. And when Suzanne’s business had grown to the point where it could support them both, Christa would leave the Kingsleys, heart whole and with her pride intact.
The drawbacks of the situation were obvious and conclusive: an affair with Lord Kingsley was out of the question. But for one last languorous moment she allowed herself to think of the advantages. Christa grinned into the darkness.Sacrebleu, but he was aman!
Chapter 10
Alex left for Ipswich early the next morning. A strenuous day produced satisfactory results and he returned to the Orchard in time for dinner. During the first course, he said teasingly, “I have some news that may be considered a mixed blessing.”
Jonathan ceased his annihilation of a lamb chop long enough to question, “Oh?” while Annabelle knit her brows worriedly and asked, “What do you mean?”
Alex sipped a little red wine, grateful that his prudent father had laid down such an excellent cellar before the war with France and the subsequent blockade. “I found a dancing master in Ipswich. He will come out here once a week all summer, or until Jonathan and I have satisfactorily mastered the art, whichever comes first. Annabelle, you will be the judge of when it is safe to turn us loose in a London ballroom.”
Annabelle’s happy exclamation was drowned by Jonathan’s howl of anguish. “Alex, no, not a dashed caper merchant! Surely you aren’t going to make me learn to dance?”
“I most certainly will. It is an essential skill to all aspiring army officers. Because the army is not as fair an institution as the navy, dancing ability plays a role in advancement.” Alex had to laugh at his young brother’s appalled expression.
“Come, Jon, look upon it as a first lesson in military discipline. You will have to learn many things you won’t like, and this is merely the first. If it makes you feel any better, I will be there beside you, and probably making more mistakes, which will give you the opportunity to feel superior.”
Jonathan had too much adolescent pride to admit that he might enjoy dancing. However, when he had gone that morning to renew his acquaintance with his old friend Tom, the vicar’s son, he had noticed that Tom’s sister, Sally, had changed out of all recognition, and much for the better. It wouldn’t hurt to learn how to dance; Jonathan knew that females set great store by it, and he dimly recognized that someday he might want to impress a girl.
“When is the dancing master coming, Alex?” Annabelle asked.
“Monday, the day before I go to Ipswich for my new boat.”
“Yourwhat?” This time his siblings were in chorus.
Alex smiled, vastly pleased with himself. “This morning I bought a small boat in Ipswich.”
“Whatever for?” Jonathan asked curiously.
“For sailing, of course. And you lucky people are going to learn how to sail too.”
There was a long pause while his brother and sister chewed and thought. Unlike his brother, Jonathan’s passion had always been for horses and riding rather than the sea. Still, it should be quite fun going out on a boat, and he was in favor of any project that gave him more time in his brother’s company. “I think I shall enjoy that, Alex.”
Annabelle wasn’t so sure. It sounded very strange, and not at all proper, to go sailing for no reason; no young lady of her acquaintance had ever done such a thing. But if her brother wanted her to sail, she would try. “What should I wear, Alex?”
Her brother frowned thoughtfully. “A good point. Jon, do you have some old breeches and shirts that might fit Belle? You were her height not long ago.”
