Spectacles and propriety once more in place, she said, “Since the fire won’t last much longer, shall we toast some of the cheese and spread it on the last of the bread? Hot food would be very welcome.”
Randolph did not know whether to feel grateful or insulted that she was ignoring what had been a truly superior kiss. Dangerously superior, in fact. The idea of kissing her again was much more appealing than bread and cheese, and the results would warm them both through and through.
With difficulty, he turned his attention to practical considerations. “An excellent idea,” he said, “though I think I would trade everything in the basket for a large pot of scalding hot tea.”
“That is a cruel thing to say, Lord Randolph.” Longing showed in her face. “Strong Italian coffee with hot milk would do equally well. And lots of sugar.”
He laughed. “We shouldn’t torture ourselves like this. Tomorrow morning we will be able to drink all the tea or coffee we want, and will appreciate it more for today’s lack.”
The melted cheese and toasted bread turned out to be an inspired choice for fortifying themselves for the rigors of the day. By the time the fire had flickered down to embers and the sun had risen over the horizon, Randolph felt ready to face the difficult conversation he had known was inevitable. “Elizabeth, there is something we must talk about.”
Daintily she licked the last crumbs from her fingers. “Yes, my lord?”
“Since we have spent the night together, I’m afraid that you are now officially ruined,” he said baldly. “There is really only one recourse, though I know it is not agreeable to you.”
“Nonsense,” she retorted. “I’m only ruined if people learn about last night, and probably not even then. I’m not an English girl making her come-out, you know. As a foreign woman of mature years, I exist outside the normal structure of Italian society and won’t be judged by the same rules. Therefore I won’t be ruined even if what happened becomes generally known.”
A glint of humor showed behind her spectacles. “Indeed, most Italian women would envy me the experience of being ruined by you.”
Ignoring her levity, he said, “Do you think the family of the terrible twins, who want a cold-blooded Englishwoman to govern their hot-blooded daughters, will be so tolerant? Or other potential employers?”
Uncertainty flickered across her face as his words struck home. “There could be problems if last night became generally known,” she admitted, “but I still think that is unlikely. I am not really part of the Neapolitan English community. Who would bother to gossip about me?”
“You think that everyone in this part of Campania hasn’t already heard that there were twoinglesitrapped up here on Christmas Eve? If the story hasn’t already reached Naples, it will today.” Randolph grimaced. “Unfortunately, I was engaged to dine at the British Embassy last night, and my absence will have been noted. The local gossips know we have been spending time together. How long will it take someone to guess who the maroonedinglesiare? Your reputation will be in shreds and you will be unemployable, at least as a governess.”
Her face pale, she said, “Shouldn’t we wait and see before assuming the worst?”
“Perhaps my anxiety is premature, but I don’t think so.” His mouth twisted. “I know you don’t want to marry me, Elizabeth, but if there is the least hint of scandal, I swear I will drag you off to the nearest Protestant clergyman. Even if you have no concern for your reputation, I’ll be damned if I want to be known as a man who refused to do the right thing by you.”
Elizabeth was staring at him, her shock palpable. Cursing inwardly for having upset her, Randolph said in a softer voice, “I swear that I won’t force you to live with me, or to do anything else you don’t want to do. I will settle an income on you and you can live wherever you choose and paint until you lose track of what year it is. But I will not let you be injured by an accident that would never have happened if you had not been acting as my friend and guide.”
She swallowed hard. “How can you marry me? What about your wife?”
“My wife?” he asked, startled. “Where did you get the idea that I'm married?”
“When we were at Solfatara,” she faltered. “You said that the loneliest place on earth was a bad marriage. You sounded so much as if you were speaking from experience that I was sure you must be married. It seemed to explain so much about you.”
Randolph was silent as he thought back. “You’re very perceptive, Elizabeth. Iwasspeaking from personal experience, but my wife died three years ago, after not much more than a year of marriage.”
He remembered the day before and frowned. “Good God, did you refuse my offer yesterday because you thought I was setting up to be a bigamist. Or lying in order to seduce you?”
She was so surprised that she let go of the lap rug. It slid from her shoulders. “You were asking me tomarryyou?”
“Of course. What did you think I was doing, offering you a carte blanche?” He said it as a joke, and was appalled to see her nod. “I would never have offered you such an insult! I think I should be angry that you believed me capable of it.”
Her face flamed and she looked down. “I didn’t feel insulted. I felt flattered. I was just too cowardly to accept.”
Seeing the humor in the situation, Randolph began laughing. “I certainly bungled that proposal, didn’t I?” He stood and crossed the half-dozen feet to where she sat regarding him uncertainly. Going down on one knee, he caught her hands between his. “I will try again and see if I can get this right. Elizabeth, will you marry me? Not to save anyone’s reputation, but a real marriage, because we want to be together?”
Her cold hands clenched convulsively on his. Behind her spectacles, her eyes were huge and transparent as silent tears began welling up. “Randolph, I can’t.”
She tried to pull away, but he kept a firm grip on her hands. Yesterday he had accepted rejection too quickly. That was not a mistake he would make again. “Why not? Is it that you can’t abide the thought of having me for a husband?”
“I can think of nothing I would like more.”
They were making progress. Patiently he asked, “Do you have a husband somewhere so you aren’t free to marry?”
“Of course not!”
