“Very likely,” she said, her gaze smoldering. “But that isn’t the reason I want you gone.”
“Envy that I’ve been able to travel and you haven’t?” he said softly. As a gangly young girl, she’d been fascinated by his books and maps of distant places.
Her eyes narrowed as she spat out, “I can’t bear the sight of you because you murdered my sister!”
Chapter 3
Signy hadn’t meant to say that, but years of pent-up anger had hurled the words from her mouth without her conscious will. She wanted him to suffer as she had suffered. And if he showed no grief or guilt, she might push him off the cliff herself.
Shocked, Ramsay exclaimed, “I was hundreds of miles away in Edinburgh and planning to return home to marry Gisela! I had nothing to do with her death.”
“Wrong!” Signy said with bitter intensity. “She didn’t die of a fever. She died of a miscarriage and bled to death in my arms.”
He stared at her, aghast, his usual calm shattered. “That’s impossible!”
“Are you saying you never lay with her? You’ll not call my sister a liar!” Signy said furiously.
“Only once! We didn’t mean to, but I was leaving for months and we both . . . lost all good judgment.” He stopped, his face ashen. “It never occurred to me that there had been . . . consequences, because she wrote when I was back in Edinburgh and said I had nothing to worry about.”
“She was protecting you, more fool she! As she lay dying, she made me promise to conceal what had happened.” Signy closed her eyes, memories of that terrible night more real than this island afternoon. “I promised and never said a word to anyone. Until now.”
She and her sister had been constant companions, coming with their mother to Thorsay after their Norwegian father died, helping their mother teach in the Skellig schoolhouse. Growing up to become teachers themselves.
Nothing—nothing—had ever hurt as much as losing Gisela. The grief and rage she’d bottled up for all these years erupted with shattering force. She buried her face in her hands as she began to sob uncontrollably.
She swung around, desperate to hide her humiliating tears from the man who was the cause of her anguish. She stumbled and nearly fell, wondering if she was going to tumble from the cliff herself. Perhaps that would be for the best....
Strong arms came around her with crushing force. Ramsay held her, his anguished voice whispering raggedly, “I didn’t know.I didn’t know!”
Signy wanted to fight him off, but bleakly she recognized that his grief matched hers. She and Ramsay had been the ones who loved Gisela best, but because of her promise, Signy had mourned alone.
In the midst of her grief, she felt tendrils of relief, as if an infected wound had been lanced. Until now her sister’s death had been buried in secrets and Signy’s anger with Ramsay had festered for years. As she clung to him, her anger began to fade away, leaving only deep sadness. If he and Signy could have mourned together, there would have been less anger.
He held her for long minutes until all her tears were exhausted. Despite her years of hating him, there was a strange but welcome comfort in the warmth of his arms. Reluctantly she stepped back, pushing her straggling hair from her face as she studied his expression. He looked as unnerved by that unexpected embrace as she was.
Since she’d be seeing a great deal of him, she needed to sort out her feelings. As a little girl, she’d adored her sister’s suitor. He’d always been Kai then, and he’d been a good-natured big brother to Signy. She’d loved that he would become a member of her family. Losing Gisela had meant also losing him.
“I’m sorry for exploding at you,” she said quietly. “Gisela’s death wasn’t your fault. Her health was always delicate. She wasn’t a great healthy horse like me. You couldn’t have done anything even if you’d been here.”
He shook his head, his expression raw with grief. “Perhaps, but if she’d told me she was with child, I would have returned immediately. Please believe that!”
“I do believe you. I told Gisela she should write you her news, but she was determined to let you finish at university.” Signy sighed. “She calculated that you’d be back in Thorsay before her pregnancy became obvious.”
“I could and should have been with her,” he said tightly. “You and I could have shared the burden rather than leaving you to manage all alone. You were what, fifteen? Hardly more than a child yourself. Too young to carry so much.”
“Perhaps, but I had no choice.” Signy hadn’t felt young since her sister had died. “I never should have promised her that I’d keep silent, but I felt I had to. My promise was the only thing I could give her as she lay dying.”
“I understand, but I’m glad you broke that promise today, because it gives us a chance to clear the air,” Ramsay said quietly. “If we’re going to be working together for the near future, it’s better not to have any great dark secrets between us.”
She nodded agreement. “That’s part of the reason I broke down and told you. Ever since I wrote to say it was time to come home, the laird has been telling me that I will have to train you in all that must be done. I couldn’t face that when I was so angry.”
“You’re lucky that all he suggested was that you tutor me in the job,” Ramsay retorted. “He just told me that I should marry you.”
She laughed with astonishment. “I’m glad to hear that the old devil’s sense of humor hasn’t left him yet!”
Ramsay gave her a wry smile. “It’s rather disturbing that you find the thought so laughable.”
She scanned his expression. His brief flare of emotion over Gisela’s death had disappeared, and his gray eyes were again as cool and enigmatic as when he’d arrived at Skellig House. He’d been a good-looking youth, and years and experience had shaped him into a handsome man with a compelling aura of command. That would serve him well as the laird, though she doubted he was as likable now as he’d been when he was Gisela’s sweetheart.
