She looked startled, then thoughtful. “For myself, yes, I can imagine it. But you’re a man in the prime of life, and in my experience, men are more physically passionate. What if desire returns for you and not for me? I should be a great inconvenience to you then.”
It was an important question. He thought before replying, “You would still be my wife and my friend. I would do nothing to humiliate you. What if the reverse is true and you recover desire and I don’t?”
“Like you, I would be discreet and do nothing to bring shame on your name.” She laughed suddenly, her face alive with amusement. “This is a very French conversation!”
He laughed with her. “So it is. Perhaps we would be very sophisticated and both quietly keep lovers on the side. But this is mere speculation. All we can know is this moment, how we feel now. And what I feel is that I would be profoundly grateful if you agreed to share my life.”
“But why?” she asked a little helplessly.
If there was to be any chance she would accept his proposal, he must be honest and vulnerable. “I have felt lonely for many years, Suzanne,” he said quietly. “When I walked into this room, my first emotion was great happiness to see that you are alive. And in the next moment, I realized I didn’t feel lonely anymore.”
Her gaze was searching. “I also feel less alone, but what if we don’t suit?”
“We courteously go our separate ways within the marriage and treat each other with respect and kindness. That shouldn’t be too difficult. It’s great passion that creates anger. If we are both beyond passion, surely we can be friends.”
“The idea sounds simple, but human beings are seldom simple,” she said skeptically.
Just talking to Suzanne made him feel more alive even when they disagreed. “You’re right, of course. But let us not overlook the shockingly practical side of my proposal,” Simon said. “As my wife you could live quite comfortably. Not with the luxury of a countess, but you will not have to work long hours in order to eat.”
“I can’t deny that has appeal,” Suzanne said. “But marriage is a great leap of faith at the best of times, and I scarcely know you. The same difficult years that are something of a bond between us might also have produced deep scars that could prove hard to live with.”
“Those are all good points, but we need not decide today. Let us spend some time together. Become reacquainted.”
“That isessential! At the moment, sir, you are a pig in a poke.”
He laughed outright. “I have been called many unflattering things, but never that.” He gestured at the lightening sky outside. “The sun is attempting to shine. After calling here, I planned to visit my London house. I’ve been staying in a hotel since returning to the city, but it’s time to move into my own home.”
She glanced out the window at the brightening day. “I should finish my sewing commission while there is light.”
After a moment’s thought, he said, “If you join me for this small excursion, I will supply candles so you can work into the night.”
“You are courting me with candles?” she asked with interest.
“If you find that appealing, they can be courtship candles. Or you can think of them as merely helpful.”
She studied him thoughtfully, then nodded. “Candles will indeed be helpful, and I should like some fresh air. Let me get my cloak.”
He watched her depart, and wondered if he was mad to offer marriage. But he felt no inclination to withdraw his offer.
* * *
Suzanne felt a little reckless as Simon handed her into his curricle, then swung up beside her and took the reins from his groom. Reaching under the seat, he pulled out a dark blue carriage robe. “You might find this useful. There’s a hint of spring in the air, but warmth is still some distance off.”
“But this is very pleasant after days of rain.” She adjusted the robe around her. It was woven from some marvelously soft wool and she enjoyed the touch of luxury. Even more she enjoyed his consideration.
As Simon deftly turned the carriage in the narrow street and headed west, she studied his profile. Now that the initial shock of his resemblance to her late husband had passed, she was seeing the differences. Jean-Louis had had the air of a jaded sophisticate while Simon was contained and . . . enigmatic? She thought of still waters running deep. He surely had interesting tales to tell. As did she.
She enjoyed studying the streets and buildings and energetic inhabitants they passed. “It’s pleasant to finally see something of London.”
“You’re not familiar with the city?”
She shook her head. “I’d never been here before I arrived from Constantinople.”
“You were willing to risk your future in an unknown place?”
She shrugged. “It’s easier to become a new woman here. By the time I sailed the length of the Mediterranean on an English ship, I was reasonably fluent in the language and I knew I could manage.”
He nodded, understanding the desire to start a new life.
