He taught me that being a man wasn't about the heroic rescues or the headlines. It was about the ordinary moments. The ones that said:I see you. You matter. I’m here.
His voice was still in my head, clear as ever.
Show up, son. That's all that matters. Just show up.
CHAPTER 10
Maya
I was goingto be enough. I had to be.
That's what I told myself as I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, curling iron in hand, trying to make my hair do something other than hang limply around my face. I’d been telling myself that for thirteen years. Tonight wouldn’t be any different.
Mrs. Patterson's voice from this morning echoed in my head. She'd found me in the hallway before first period, that pitying smile already in place.How sweet that you're taking Zoe yourself.
I wrapped another section of hair around the barrel, counted to ten, and pushed her words down where they couldn’t reach me.
Zoe and I had gone dress shopping the previous weekend. She'd found a pink dress with a flared skirt that made her look older than thirteen, and I'd had to blink back tears in the dressing room while she twirled in front of the mirror. My baby. Growing up too fast.
I'd bought a dress too. Maroon, simple, nothing fancy. I told myself it was for Zoe, so she wouldn't be embarrassed showingup with a mom in jeans. But part of me wanted to feel pretty tonight. Wanted to feel seen. To feel like more than just the tired teacher. The single mom. The woman who was always running on empty.
The curling iron beeped. I set it down and studied my reflection.
We could do this. Me and Zoe against the world. The way it had always been.
Zoe was in her room getting ready, and I could hear her music playing through the door, something upbeat and poppy that I didn't recognize.
I was putting on earrings when the music stopped.
Then I hear her crying.
I crossed the apartment in seconds and knocked on Zoe's door. "Honey? Can I come in?"
No answer. Just muffled sobs.
I opened the door.
Zoe was sitting on the edge of her bed in her pink dress, mascara running down her cheeks, her hands twisted in her lap. She looked up when I came in, and her face completely crumpled.
"I can't do it," she said. "Mom, I can't. I thought I could, but I can't."
I sat beside her, pulled her into my arms. She buried her face against my shoulder, her whole body shaking.
"What happened, baby? Talk to me."
"Everyone's going to laugh at me." Her voice was muffled, broken. "All the other girls are going with their dads. Real dads.And I'm going with my mom because my dad doesn't even remember my birthday half the time."
My heart cracked down the middle.
"Zoe—"
"Madison's dad is taking her. And Sophie's dad. And even Chloe, whose parents are divorced, her dad flew in from Chicago just for this." She pulled back, wiping her face with the back of her hand.
I cupped her face in my hands. Wiped the tears from her cheeks with my thumbs.
“You have me,” I said. “You’ve always had me. Always.”
"I know." Her voice cracked, but she held my gaze. "And I know you've been everything for me, Mom. You've been both. Mom and Dad. For my whole life. And I love you for that. I do." She took a shaky breath. "But tonight... I just can't pretend it doesn't hurt. Seeing all the other girls with their dads. Knowing mine couldn't be bothered to show up even once." She wiped her nose with the back of her hand. "It's not your fault. None of this is your fault. I just... I can't do it tonight. I'm sorry."
