Aubrey nods. “We are.”
“Then let’s go back to the boat and get drunk tonight.” I reach for Ace’s hand. “Really, guys. This will keep for three days. Let’s go do something fun.”
“Well.” Chris takes Aubrey’s hand as we start to walk. “I can think of lots of fun things to do, though not necessarily together. But, hey, I’d be down for something kinky if?—”
“You hush!” she admonishes him, laughing.
We’re in Strasbourg the next day, buying cookies at a bakery, when my mother calls. I look at her name flashing on the screen of my phone and decline the call, stuffing it back in my pocket. Ace sees me do it but doesn’t say anything, sticking a warm, buttery macaroon in my mouth instead. They just came out of the oven and the woman behind the counter offered them to us.
I’m not a big fan of macaroons, but right out of the oven, these are pretty great.
“You okay?” Ace whispers in my ear.
“Yup.” I smile. “Tomorrow is the last full day of the cruise, and Saturday we disembark. She can wait. All of it can wait.”
“Are you sure? You seem kind of sad.”
“I’m doing my best not to think about all that, but obviously something very serious is going on with my mother and if I’m not in danger, you’re going to have to leave soon, so yeah, I’m a little sad.”
“I told you I wouldn’t go anywhere as long as you needed me.”
“Yeah, but that’s not realistic. You have a job, I have a job…” I let my voice fade because I feel like I’m whining and that isn’t like me. This thing with my mom has me out of sorts and it really sucks.
“Do I need to take you into an alley and fuck you senseless?” he whispers against the side of my face. “Because you know I will.”
I chuckle. “That might work, but I don’t think I’ll like French jails. Besides, I have shopping to do.”
“There’s been a lot of shopping on this trip,” he pretends to complain as we pay for our cookies and leave the shop.
“You can go to a pub and drink while I shop.”
“Nah. I like carrying your bags.” He slides his hand into mine as we walk. Chris and Aubrey are down the street looking at something they want to ship home, so we’ll meet up with them again in half an hour.
I stop in front of a store with gorgeous women’s clothing in the window. There’s a beautiful winter-white coat that I might have bought if I wasn’t distracted by so many things.
“That would look pretty on you,” Ace says, following my gaze.
“Thanks. I guess I have enough coats.” I keep walking, my thoughts going a hundred different directions. Ace seems to sense I don’t want to talk and doesn’t say anything else as we window-shop and eventually meet up with Chris and Aubrey.
When the guys go into a liquor store to buy some brandy, Aubrey and I walk across the street to another clothing store, though we don’t go inside.
“It’s okay to be upset about the situation,” she says quietly. “But are you mad at Ace?”
“I’m not mad,” I say thoughtfully, “but this thing with my mom makes me wonder just how naïve and unprepared to be an adult I am. I had no idea my mother was up to something, not to mention my coworker. And now Ace is back after ten years, doing absolutely everything I ever dreamed he would do, and I’m falling hard and fast. The worst thing is, I feel foolish.” I turn to her miserably. “What if he’s using me or is somehow in on this with my mom?”
“But why?” she asks softly, gently gripping my hands in hers. “What does he get out of this? Sex? Big deal. He can get that anywhere. His father is famous and he has a trust fund, so it’s not about your money. What other reasons are there for a man to use a woman like that?”
“He’s a spy,” I whisper sadly. “Maybe I don’t know anything about him and I’ve let my ten-year-old fantasy override my good sense.”
“I don’t think…” She takes a breath. “Chris doesn’t talk about when he was in prison much, but I know underneath the jokes and self-deprecating humor, Ace pretty much saved his life. Chris made a couple of friends in prison, but honestly, it was Ace who kept him from all the awful things that can happen at places like that. And he didn’t have to. There were plenty of hardened criminals he could have used as an informant, but he chose the guy who really didn’t belong there. Yes, Chris did something wrong, but he did what the law wasn’t able or willing to do, and that’s who Ace chose to protect. That says a lot about who Ace is.”
“In my heart of hearts, I know that, but a lot has happened over a very short time and I’m overwhelmed. And the two people I’d normally be able to talk to are the two people causing me all these feelings.”
“Well, now you have me.” Aubrey links her arm through mine. “Come on, let’s get lost in the shops and make the guys find us. It’ll give us time for girl talk and it’ll be fun to make them search for us.”
“Okay.” I appreciate her friendship so much and it makes me sad to realize that while I have friends, there’s no one like this in my life. No one I would call a best friend, who will whisper and giggle with me.
Somehow, I skipped out on the best friend thing as I navigated adulthood, and it’s one of many things making me sad today.
