“Stop being stubborn. I promise I won’t jump your bones and distract you from guarding me.” She slowly gets to her feet and holds out her hands.
Oh, hell, there’s no way I can say no to an invitation like this.
Sex or no sex, sleeping beside Shannon is going to happen.
I’ve never seen anyone work as hard as Shannon works on Saturday. She grades paper after paper after paper, until I have to pry the red pen from her fingers to make her eat and sleep. She gets all her grading done, submits her final exam documents to whomever has to print them for her, and creates letters with detailed instructions for each exam. She’s dedicated and efficient, far more concerned with her students’ success than her safety, though I have a feeling she’s more nervous about the stalker situation than she lets on.
Much to my surprise, we’ve kept things platonic. With the way things went the other night at the Christmas market, I’ve been wondering if she would make some kind of first move, but after our talk Friday afternoon, she seems content to let me take the lead. We have such a strong bond, it seems to leave us battling conflicting emotions. The need to be together is at war with both her safety and the uncertainty of my future, things that are important in the long run.
At the same time, we’ve already been apart for a decade. There was never actually anything between us, but neither of us can deny we wanted there to be. If I can figure out why she has a stalker and what to do about it, I’d take a little time to explore what’s in my heart when it comes to her. And us.
The one thing I’ve discovered about myself as I’ve gotten older is that it doesn’t take me long to know what I do and don’t want.
I don’t want to keep working for the CIA.
I love working for the royal family in Limaj. I’m ready for something less dangerous and more permanent, and if I’m ever going to get into a serious relationship, Shannon is my first choice.
I don’t need traditional courting rituals, like months and months of dating, to tell me what my heart already knows. The question is more about timing, safety, and whether or not she can live with a nomad like me. Even if I leave the agency, I wouldn’t be happy in suburbia. If I’m honest with myself, I have no idea what I want when my days as a spy are over.
Less dangerous, absolutely.
Completely safe and sedentary? Fuck no.
And until I figure that out, it isn’t fair to make Shannon part of the equation.
I spend all day Sunday with Chains at his hotel room. He got to town the day before but spent the time settling in and getting some rest. I leave Shannon Sunday morning, sneaking out the back gate after assuring myself no one can get into her apartment short of blowing up her front door. We have the surveillance camera on so I can watch her while I’m gone, and she promised she wouldn’t go anywhere or answer the door to anyone at all. She’s still drowning in work and I want to get Chains up to speed, so it’s a good time to get things accomplished.
He brought along a new guy from his company that I didn’t know, a guy who went by the nickname Band-Aid, but if Chains trusts him, that’s good enough for me.
Darryl “Chains” Carruthers is tall and blond, with a distinct British accent and a lot of tattoos. He had dreadlocks when I first met him, but now he keeps his hair cropped close to his head. He was badass back in the day, but he’s happily married and settled down in Vegas now.
I often wonder if he misses the spy game and figure this is a good chance to ask him.
“You have something on your mind, mate?” Chains asks as I check on Shannon for what feels like the hundredth time.
I pause, trying to formulate questions without sounding as unsure of myself as I feel. “I guess I wonder how you like your life now. Does it get boring?”
He laughs. “We manage a fucking sex club—does that sound like my life is ever boring?”
I chuckle. “Well, no, but I mean…men like us, we have special skills, and you have to get off on the rush you get from the danger. Without the danger, how do you survive?”
He scratches his chin. “It’s about the choices you make. Emilie isn’t just my wife—she’s my other half. Our life is fantastic. Busy and exciting and sometimes overwhelming, but every day when I wake up, I thank my lucky stars that it’s her I’m sharing it with. The key is to find the person who complements you. At least it was for me.
“Em is tough as hell, but also maternal and smart and has a sassy side that gets me hard just thinking about it. That’s the kind of woman who makes up for the loss of adrenaline rush.” He pauses. “But the truth? It never goes away completely. That’s why when she started managing the club, I took over as head of security. I get to bust a few heads now and then, and when Joe put Westfield Security up for sale, I bought it from him because I do get off on the rush.
“I enjoy the occasional jaunt into this world, and Em understands that. Westfield & Carruthers helps people, while also giving me the occasional excuse to use my skills, and that’s enough for me. I’m not twenty-five anymore, you know? And kids…well, that changes everything.”
I consider what he said. “But did you know that going in?”
“No, but I knew not having her in my life would be unacceptable. That was all the convincing I needed. She was the one who told me to buy Westfield—because she knows me better than I know myself.”
“Important trait in a mate.”
He meets my gaze curiously. “This is about Shannon?”
“Yeah.” There’s no point in lying. Chains has been through this, so he understands better than I was expecting.
“And this started from one date a decade ago?”
