Ryan
The kitchen table is quiet the next morning like it usually is. I couldn’t sleep at all last night, and it’s not only because I can’t stop thinking about my parents.
Artemis invaded my mind. No matter how much I tell myself I’m better off without her, my heart refuses to listen.
“I didn’t have a chance to ask you what you think about the Wests,” Grandma says to me, the look in her eyes telling me she’s desperate to have a conversation with me. I wish I could be the grandson she needs and wants. But it’s just too hard.
I poke at my soggy cereal. “They’re good people.”
She looks like she wants me to say more, but I kind of want to be alone with my thoughts. Not about my parents, though. That’ll only make me want to punch something. But about Artemis. It’s screwed up. On one hand, I like hanging out with her. On the other, I know that it’s not good for either of us.
I told her I don’t want to be her friend. That was a lie. I’d do anything to go back to the guy I once was. As captain of the soccer team at my old school, I was pretty popular, with lots of friends and fans. Now I’ve shriveled up into nothing. I keep trying to tell myself I’m better off this way, but I’m only deluding myself.
I get to my feet. “Thanks for breakfast. I should get to school.”
She rests her hand on my arm. “I was thinking we could do something this weekend? Maybe go to an art museum?”
The hope in her eyes tears at me. Dad was estranged from his mom, but I know he would want me to build a relationship with her. “Okay.”
A bright smile conquers her face. “Great.”
Awkward silence.
I grab my backpack and fling it over my shoulder. “See you later.”
“Have a good day at school.” She makes a move like she wants to hug me or something, but I bend out of the way and make my way to the door.
Like usual, I reach the building a few minutes before the bell rings. I don’t like coming to school earlier than I need to. Don’t want to be forced to be with these kids or have conversations with them. Like I keep telling myself, I’m better off alone.
Then why do my eyes search for Artemis the second I enter the building?
She’s at her locker, talking to her friend. My heart urges me to join them, to make some sort of effort to have friends. But I shut it down.
As I pass them on my way to class, they stop talking and turn to me. My eyes catch Artemis’s, and something passes between us. Not sure what it is. I’m about to continue on, when she says, “Hey, Ryan.”
I stop and face her. “Hey.”
We just stand there looking at each other. I feel Jenna’s eyes flicking between the two of us.
The bell rings.
Jenna flings her arms around Artemis. “See you at lunch.” She scurries off.
I have no idea why I’m still standing here. It’s like my feet are glued to the floor.
Artemis shuts her locker and tucks some hair behind her ear. “Want to go to class together?”
I should stay away, but I nod instead. We walk side by side, and I notice just how close we are. Our shoulders are nearly touching.
We reach the classroom and I’m about to take a seat in the back, to be far, far away from her. But then I pause and turn around, glancing at the desks Artemis and I sat at yesterday. For some reason, I don’t want to sit in the back anymore.
Crap. What the heck is wrong with me? I should stay away. The closer we grow, the worse it’ll be.
Fisting my hands at my sides, I clench my teeth and force my feet to take me to the back.
Dropping down in her chair, Artemis watches me sit at the desk and take out my sketchpad.
I draw during class, not only because I don’t care about my grades, but because Ican’t let myself think about her.
