“Not at the dinner table,” my father, the former king, said. His voice boomed across the room, making me jump a little.
Suddenly I was five years old again, wrestling my brothers to the ground and then being admonished for not behaving princely.
“Guys, we have to teach these children some manners,” Iain said. “And you all aren’t helping by behaving like ruffians.”
Kalwin ducked his head until his shoulders were near his ears.
I sat down next to Xavier, my brother-in-law, too far away from Jaq for my liking. He hadn’t even looked my way. All of today I’d tried to get his attention, but it was as if he could look right through me when we were in public. Meanwhile, I seemed to only be able to look at him.
In the four-plus years that we had been hooking up, Jaq never slipped up once. Meanwhile I had to fight every alpha instinct inside me not to pull him into my arms and mark him as mine.
“Erich, I know you just got home, and we really want you to hang out longer. I’m sorry that we keep having to send you away,” Cort said.
I shrugged. “You know I don’t mind the travel.” It was getting tiresome, but my role was an important one. Cort and Thomas couldn’t be everywhere, and my job was to represent them and Swena, broker deals between nations and companies in order to better the lives of Swena’s citizens. I was good at it, and if that was how I could be useful to my family, then I was more than happy to do it.
“See, that’s what I said, which is why I think you’ll be perfect to take this next trip. It really ought to be Thomas and me going, but I know that you will represent us well.”
I didn’t know what this next trip was, but whatever it was, I would be there for my family. Represent them as royally as I could. Even if it meant being apart from Jaq again. It was lonely traveling all the time. Whether Jaq knew it or not, I remained loyal to him while I was away. This thing between us may have been casual, at least it started that way, but I had long sincedetermined that it was more than that for me. He was all I thought about while I was away.
How I was going to tell him that still eluded me. If I was straight-up honest with him, I’d likely scare him away.
“Well, what do you need me to do?” I said, leaning back in my chair.
Cort shot a glance at his husband, who then snuck a glance at Jaq. Jaq had his hands folded in his lap, staring ahead looking unimpressed by the conversation. “It’s the former king of Asach’s eightieth birthday. They’re having a celebration. Cort and I wanted to go, but—”
There was a long pause.
“Don’t leave us on pins and needles, dude. What, are we going to war?” Kalwin asked.
Thomas rolled his eyes. He’d come such a long way since joining the family. He was truly one of us now. “No. We’re expecting again,” he said, placing a hand over his abdomen.
Cort smiled broadly and put his arm over the back of his husband’s chair. It hit me then just how much I wanted that. I wanted to be seated next to Jaq, announcing our engagement, our wedding, our baby. Everything.
There were gasps of surprise. None from Jacques. He must have already known. He did have a sweet smile of happiness on his face. We would have another niece or nephew to spoil.
“Congratulations,” I said.
“Thank you. We’re quite excited.” Cort held his husband’s hand. “It was a bit of a surprise.”
“Yeah, no kidding,” Iain said. “Your youngest isn’t even walking yet.”
There were no rules, obviously, but generally, it was advised to space out the royal children. It was one of the unwritten royal protocols.
“Thomas can’t fly right now, the morning sickness has been rough with this one, and I don’t want to leave him this early in the pregnancy.”
“That makes sense. I’ll go, of course. Is Jaq coming?” I didn’t know why I asked. I knew that relations between Jaq and his family in Asach weren’t great. He didn’t have a strong relationship with his older brother, but they were at least amicable. His relationship with his father was non-existent. Still, sometimes we had to make appearances for appearance’s sake. Even if they were miserable.
He and I traveling together would be a wonderful time. Me and him alone on a trip, sneaking around some other palace, ormaybe I would be able to get us a hotel. It would be amazing to be able to spend a few days alone together.
Jaq’s back straightened, his jaw tensing.
“No,” Cort said. “He’ll be staying here as well to look after the kids.”
I had a feeling it was more than just looking after the kids. More like he wasn’t going because his father made true on his word that he wasn’t welcome in Asach and he wasn’t invited to the celebration. I had forgotten momentarily just how bad relations were between Jaq and his alpha father.
How did he feel about this birthday celebration? Did he wish he could go? Did he miss home? Those were all things I longed to ask him but knew that he would shut down if I tried.
“Well, I’ll be happy to represent the family. When do I leave?”
