“Can I—” I ask nervously, not able to curb the need to wrap my arms around her and pull her close to me. She hums in approval, flushing her body into me, making it easier for me to embrace her against my chest. There’s no hesitation. Her body just melts into me, fitting so perfectly. Then guilt sinks its claw into the moment, quickly snapping me out of the trance. Not that I want to take her with me, but I need her to be sure. It’s just not me anymore, but Lucas. I rest my chin against the top of her head, muttering, “Lucas.”
Ronnie stiffens against me, but she doesn’t pull away. “Lucas?” His name comes out of her lips like a question.
“My son… I’ll take you with me anywhere, but there’s a little guy that has to fit into the equation now. I know it’s a lot to ask of you, but the baby…” I hesitate. “I’m all he’s got, Ronnie…”
“I wouldn’t expect anything less from you.” Her hand slides down my back, before pulling away slightly and looking up through her lashes, looking up at me. “You don’t owe me more than you’re ready to give.”
There’s not an ounce of uncertainty when I speak. “I want to give you everything. This is just all so new to me. I don’t want to fuck shit up.”
She scoffs softly, pressing her face against my chest. “I’m patient, Iz. I just want you to know that I’m willing. That I want this. You and everything that comes with you.” I press a kiss into her hair, unsure if what I’m about to do is wrong, but when something that’s bad for you feels this good... This is perfect. “Then come with me.”
Song Besame- Camila
We didn’t even say goodbye to Sledge or Alexa. We were so lost in each other's proximity that we just headed towards the Camaro and headed back to my place. It took every ounce of restraint not to stare at her as she sat curled up in my seat. The urge to touch her never once overpowered my choice not to impose anything on her unless that’s what she wanted. Especially with her being a little buzzed from the alcohol and weed. It’s late when we finally pull into my parking lot and walk into my building. That comfortable silence is still lingeringbetween us. I feel jittery inside. I still live in the same building, just a different apartment. One with an actual room and not just a studio like I used to live in.
“New place?” she asks when we pass my old hall.
“Yeah, I figured I needed more space for a kid,” I respond honestly. My hand moves towards the small of her back, making my palm tingle with small sparks of electricity from the touch alone. Her breath stutters, and for a moment, the need to kiss her almost overrides my hesitation. I pull out the trance, guiding her up the steps and down the hall that leads to my apartment, right on the first floor.
I feel like I’m holding my breath as I turn the key and push open the door. The smell of laundry detergent and warm cedar greets us. Being a single dad with a son in the NICU brought out a part of me I didn’t know existed. On the rare occasions that I’m home, I’m cleaning, doing laundry, or meal prepping. I even made sure to have a dust free environment with multiple air purifiers and humidifiers. “I’ve been doing a lot of cleaning and laundry.”
“Smells like it,” she teases before biting her cheek and shifting nervously where she stands. My hand moves to the back of my neck, rubbing out the tension. I’m not uncomfortable that she’s here. Just nervous. I don’t rush her. I wait for her to take the first step inside. Each step is cautious and uncertain as she slowly steps inside. A small gasp escapes her lips when she looks at the left wall that’s full of different pictures.
Most of them are the newborn pictures the NICU nurses took of Lucas and I. Then some of us, our parents, just a mural of all those I love. Blondie is even there. She’s there holding a sunflower, standing beside the brightest of them all—Ronnie. I kick off my boots at the same time I shrug off my jacket, watching as she toes out of her heels, her eyes never leaving the mix matched color frames adorning the wall.
My eyes track as Ronnie moves through one space to another, and I follow right behind her. Stopping at the entrance of the living room, I lean into the wooden siding and observe as she weaves through the furniture in the room. “It’s nice. Homey,” she finally says before turning to face me.
“I tried. I want him to come to a real home.”
She smiles at that, her nose scrunching slightly as her eyes begin to fill with tears she desperately tries to blink away. “You… Sure…. Did.”
My brows pull together. I hate seeing the battle within her still. She’s trying so hard to be here for me. Maybe this was too much for her. Clearing the lump forming in my throat, her hand moves to her hip, composing herself through deep breaths. It’s funny how connected we are. Both of us ask at the same time. “Are you okay?”
A small chuckle works its way past my lips.Why wouldn’t I be?Placing my hand in my pocket, I mutter, “Better now. You?”
“Great.” She blinks away some tears that form in her stormy gaze. Making them look like a rainy day in the late afternoon. “I know I look sad. But it’s not sadness. I’m in awe of you.”
“Awe of me?” I point at my chest, arching a brow.
She nods. “Isaac, I wasn’t the only one who bloomed, my love. You did too. And so beautifully may I add.”
Her words make my heart gallop wildly inside my chest. Making my blood simmer with need and admiration. My knees almost buckle from the weight of it all. “It means everything,” I manage to say through clenched teeth, watching as she slowly saunters over before stopping right in front of me and curling her fingers into the front of my shirt. My breath stalls from the proximity and everything she’s conveying with the look in her eyes. She wants me.
“You know I need words… Don’t look at me with thoseojitos lindos.” Ronnie smiles, her body pressing against mine. Her nose trails up my chest as she breathes me in, my dick instantly growing within my pants. My hand moves to her hip, and I gently squeeze it. Pumping the brakes to whatever she’s trying to start. She’s been drinking. “Ronnie…” I practically purr out as she moves down my chest, stopping right over the waistband of my pants. I could barely hear her question over the sound of blood rushing to my ears. “You sure?”
Am I sure… about what I want to ask, but I say nothing. Honestly, I don’t know if she’s asking if I’m sure about being better. Or if she’s seeking approval so she can touch me. There are times in my life when I wished I were a better man, like right now. I shouldn’t give in. Not right now, but I have no fight left to argue fate.Love. I only dip my head down and kiss her. Nothing demanding or aggressive. Just a soft press of my lips against hers, then her lips part for me. Her tongue slips past mine, my hand cups her jaw, and I tilt it slightly. Just enough to deepen the kiss, causing her to sigh into my mouth.
There’s no urgency in our movements. No wild hands or breathless tugging. Ronnie’s fingers gently thread through my hair, pulling me closer as our tongues continue to glide against each other. My arms band around her waist while my other hand leaves her jaw, moving down to her leg. I pick her up in one swift movement, her legs wrapping around me as we continue to passionately devour one another. With her safely in my arms, I bring her to my room,pulling away breathless. My lips feel so swollen, still tingling from our make-out session, and this time it is I who asks, “You sure?”
Her response is another kiss, giving me all the permission I need to bring her into my room and make love to her in my bed. I pull away from her just enough to mutter, “Words, mami. Only then can we conti—” My words come to an abrupt end when she whispers against my lips, “Use me.”
Those five letters snap my restraint. Not fully unleashing myself, but it does make our passion unfurl. We take our time undressing each other, our hands reverently gliding against our skin, mapping every part of each other, as if afraid we would wake up in the past. The world falls away, and in its place there’s only this. Us. Ronnie and Iz.
I lay her down in my bed, my eyes roam over her, scanning for any doubt, any hesitation. Only to find none. I move between her legs and crouch before her. Leaning in, pressing a tender kiss on her shoulder, before dragging my tongue over her collarbone. Making a path of wet kisses up towards the underside of her jaw. She returns the kisses with wet ones of her own, her thighs clamping at myside, keeping me in place and pulling me into her—where I can feel how soaked she is for me.
“I want to take my time with you,” I mutter against her skin as I work my way to her center and press a soft kiss. Ronnie threads her fingers through my hair, using it to grind into my hungry mouth as I continue to tease her.
“Not tonight,” she practically whimpers. “We have all the time in the world. I need you to… Fuck me, Isaac.” She leans back into the mattress, opening herself to let me in. It takes a minute, not because I wasn’t hard, but watching her squirm and play with her perfect round tits as she begs for me, is a sight I want to engrave into my very soul.
