Our fear.
Slowly, I take the pregnancy test from Harry’s hand, my stomach churning with a mixture of nerves and dread. Then I grab the cup, trying to ignore the pressure building inside me. I want to believe it’s Isaac’s child, but what if it’sHarry’s? He hasn’t touched me, not there at least, but what if it is? It’s an irrational fear, but still a very nagging one. I urinate into the cup, my mind racing with possibilities.What if it’s positive? What if it’s negative? What does that mean for us all?
With trembling fingers, I remove the top of the test, following the instructions to the letter. I’ve done this before, countless times since being here. Yet, nothing prepares you for the anxiety that takes hold of you as you wait for the results to appear. I close my eyes, my heart racing inside my chest as I wait for the answer. Every second feels like an eternity. My eyes flutter open, and my gaze finds Iz, who remains silent, full of concern and protectiveness.
I don’t look down yet, not until I carefully place the cup on the ground and push away the bucket. Only then do I pick up the plastic test. My lungs expand forcefully as I inhale the deepest breath. Allowing myself a moment to relax my jittering nerves, bracing myself for the results. My heart speeds up as the strip slowly changes colors. It’s almost immediate, the way the first line appears before forming another.
I freeze, not sure what to do or how to react.
Everything around me blurs as the reality of the situation sinks in. Two lines.Positive. My hands start to tremble as my mind races with a million thoughts at once. The reality of the situation hits me like a ton of bricks, and I feel the world spinning around me, causing my knees to collapse beneath me.
“Ronnie…” Isaac's voice cuts through the haze of my thoughts. “Talk to me.”
I don't. All I can think about is the results. Pregnant. Isaac’s child is growing inside me. I’m not sure what you would call the emotion that floods through me, but it’s so close to relief, alongside a mixture of fear and uncertainty. I feel like I’m suffocating, the air around me thick with tension and unspoken implications. Blood rushes to my ears. My body shakes from the adrenaline surge spreading through my body at a cellular level.What does this mean for us? For me? For Iz?I steal a glance at him, searching for some kind of reassurance, but all I see is his own turmoil reflected back at me.
Before I can fully process the news, Harry’s voice booms with a question, “Well, what does it say?” His impatience is evident as he leans in closer to see the test. Priscilla watches eagerly, her eyes shining with anticipation. I glance at Isaac, who meets my gaze with a mix of emotions swirling in his eyes—shock, worry, and a flicker of something else that I can’t quite decipher. Slowly, I turn back to Harry and Priscilla, holding up the test for them to see.
“It’s positive,” I murmur.
Harry takes three steps toward me, closing the small gap between us. Snatching the test from my hand, making me flinch and fall on my ass.
“It’s positive, alright. Pris, we are about to be parents,” he gushes, and I double over and empty the contents of my stomach, which isn’t much. I hear the tug of the chain, and I don’t have to look up to know it’s Isaac. When I look up, my eyes find his.
“You okay?” he mouths. We’ve gotten good at this, reading each other’s lips. I nod, trying to swallow past the lump in my throat. “I’m fine,” I whisper, even though I know I’m not. I’m terrified. But I try to hide it, because I can’t let them see how scared I am. Harry beams, his eyes glistening with happiness. Priscilla wraps her arms around his waist, her face lit up with joy.
“Oh, that’s amazing news!” she exclaims. “We’re going to have a family now.” I can’t help but hold back a sob choking me inside. My chin quivers as my emotions threaten to take me under. I clutch my stomach, and my eyes remain fixed on Isaac. The look on his face tells me all I need to know. We are thinking the same thing. But before I can do anything, I feel Harry’s hands on my hair.
“Now we can celebrate.” Priscilla breaks away for a moment. I see a hint of sorrow, disgust, but who knows? Then my eyes meet Iz, who looks like a caged animal ready to attack. “Kneel,” Harry says, and I do. I don’t fight anymore; it’s easier this way. Done and over with. What I didn’t expect was for him to shove a piece of cheese in my mouth. I nearly moan as I chew the sharp piece of dairy, savoring the tangy flavor that explodes in my mouth. How long has it been since I’ve had anything but eggs or bananas? I could cry—no, I'm crying.
My heart aches for what we’ve lost, the freedom we once had, and the fear of what the future holds. But for now, as I chew with glee, trying as hard as I can to focus on the simple joy of the moment. That very moment is interrupted by the sound of a buckle, and I nearly jump to my feet. No… no… I want to scream, but I just focus on how the cheese melts into my mouth. It is better that way.
I stay here with the simple joy of the moment as Harry’s hands dig into my scalp. The sound of metal falling catches my attention. The sound bounces off in the silence of the room; it’s like the universe holds its breath. Waiting to see what will happen. The glint of silver sparkles like a beacon of light; there, just mere inches away, a knife falls to the floor.
The world stands still, my body moving of its own accord, reaching for that knife before he can pull me away. I feel his grip tighten, but it’s too late. My hand makes contact with the knife, and just as he pulls me back into him, I lunge the knife backward, connecting with flesh. Harry’s blood splatters on the side of my face as I pull the knife back out.
The pain and surprise in Harry’s cry fill the air; his eyes are wide and glazed with panic, and I know this isn’t over. When he yanks me up by my hair, still with the knife in my hand, I strike. We’re not safe here, not by a long shot. I strike again, this time connecting with his eye. A sickening sound fills the air as the blade pierces his eye, and his grip on my hair loosens. I can’t help but wonder if this will be enough.
Priscilla screams in horror. “No, honey,” she cries, her voice shaking. “Oh, God, no.”
But it’s too late to stop me now. I don’t turn to face them. I see red. So much fucking red. All my attention is on Harry. Even when he falls to the ground, I straddle him. Over and over, I plunge the knife into his shoulder, his chest, and finally, his neck. His screams grow weaker with each thrust, and I can feel his life force slowly draining out of him.
Priscilla lets out a blood-curdling scream that echoes through the room. I know at this moment that everything has changed. I’ve done something unimaginable,and I can’t ever take it back. With a trembling hand, I wipe the blood from my face and straddle his blood-soiled chest. The world goes black as I go back in. I can hear her screams and Iz barking orders from behind me, but it all seems so distant, so far away. My hand continues to move in sickening, repeated motions, creating its own melody.
Squelch!
Squelch!
Chapter Twenty Six
Isaac
The basement blurs… I only see her… My nose crinkles, and my mouth falls open, but no words come. An uncontrollable shudder sweeps through my body, making my temperature drop as I watch in horror as Ronnie continues to plunge the knife in and out. I swallow rapidly, trying to bring myself back here. To be withher. I’ve lost count of how many times she’s stabbed him. There’s so much blood. All I can hear is her broken sobs that blend with the uncontrollable laughter. Her hair is a matted crown of curls that frame her face...
I feel Priscilla take a few tentative steps backwards, trying to remain undetected by my butterfly, who finally broke out of her cocoon. The wildly beautiful woman of my dreams. I inhale a shaky breath, trying to steady myself, slowly turning my head towards Priscilla.
“You have to let me go…. She will kill you.”
I hope she doesn’t. That I can spare her any further damage alone is trauma surfacing in the rawest form. A violence born out of survival. Priscilla doesn’t deserve death. That would be too easy. She needs to rot in prison, tolivewith what she’s done. With Harry being dead,the only justice here is a long prison sentence and the truth of what happened here. To us. To the couple before us. Priscilla hesitates, her body trembling with fear as her gaze remains fixed on Harry, dead on the ground. Her thin lips curl into a small smile before morphing to frown that makes her chin quiver with emotion. Tears run down her cheeks. I need her to snap out of it. “Hey. Priscilla. Listen to me.” I rattle the chain softly, causing her to flinch and take a breath.
