“Are you sure?”
I shake my head and squeeze her hand. “No, but this was my choice.”
She shrugs. “Love is pain,” we say together before she lets go of my hand and follows me back towards them. Alexa is on the dance floor, dancing with another guy, by the time we get back. Iz is nowhere in sight.
“Hey, baby,” Alexa squeaks, grabbing my hand. My eyes widen as I peer through the fog, searching for those honey-colored eyes—but he’s nowhere to be seen.
“Rayna, this is Alexa,” I say, then glance around again. “But I’m not sure where Iz went.”
Alexa frowns, letting go of my hand as her expression shifts. “He went to smoke. Said he was just dropping me off and heading back to Woodstock. Nice to meet you, Rayna.”
Rayna smiles politely. “Nice to meet you, too.”
Relief washes over me, though I keep my expression neutral. “Screw him! Let’s dance and have some fun!” Rayna shouts, grinning.
“Fuck yes.” Alexa smiles and hugs me. We dance for hours before calling it quits. Walking under the chilly fall night, heels in hand, just the three of us, giggling and talking about life, love, and our comfort show,The Vampire Diaries.But what can you expect from girls who grew up lovingTwilight?
Back in the studio, Alexa crashes on my futon and Rayna on my bed. I bring a blanket to Alexa, her face puffy from crying, but I don’t show that I’m aware. She wouldn’t welcome it; to her, that would be a pity. So, I just walk over to cover her with the green blanket. She doesn’t move, and I don’t say anything. Turning away, I begin to walk when she drunkenly whispers, “He’s inlove with you.”
My heart sinks, and a single tear slips from my eye. The room feels small, and I realize that I don’t need sleep; I need air.
Chapter Six
Isaac
Iwatch those steel eyes blur, her voice cracks, but Alexa doesn’t notice. If she did, she doesn’t show it, and at this point, I feel that being here with Alexa was a mistake. I know it’s a mistake. I just couldn’t help the urge to see her, to see the truth for my very own eyes when Alexa told me about Max and Ronnie, so I figured she was over us… over me.
I moved on because what else was I supposed to do? Moving on is the only choice. I just needed to confirm with my very own eyes. Even though she has made it clear time after time that it was a one-time thing. Forcing us to be apart, all while she lives in regret and I live with heartbreak.
Alexa wraps her arms around my neck, and I spin her around so I can watch Ronnie as she walks through the crowd. She’s panicking. My little bird wants to take off, but her wings won’t open because we just clipped them. A pang hits my chest. Desperately, I beg that she turn around, that she look back. Of course, she doesn’t. Why would fate grant me any mercy when it’s taken so much from me already? She keeps moving, and then she’s gone behind the curtain of smoke and bubbles.
“Lex, I think this should be more of a girls’ weekend. I’ll head back tonight. The drive isn’t that bad. Go chill with your friend,” I whisper in her ear as she continues to grind into my body. The last thing I want is to overstay and be the reason her voice cracks or those beautiful grey eyes cry.
Alexa stops, her arms fall from my neck, her chest rising slowly. There are times I wish I could return the love I see reflected in those blue eyes, but Ican’t. Sometimes I wonder if it’s even love that she feels or just comfort. Alexa is beautiful, gorgeous, but she isn’t what I want. She could never be my queen... that spot is reserved for Ronnie. Her eyes begin to water, but she blinks them away, a smile appearing on her face.
“That’s fine,” she answers. “I’ll see you when I get back,” she adds, fixing her white corset. Alexa is dressed as an angel, a cute white tutu, a white corset, matching fishnets, and silver heels. Her hair is braided into a single braid, with silver and white beads in it.
“I’ll come back for you,” I say, to which she shakes her head.
“No, I’ll see you when I get back. It’s better that way.” As much as she tries to hide, her pained expression fails, but I don’t acknowledge it, only offer a small nod because she’s right.
We’re not together… we just hook up. I’m just a selfish asshole who wanted to see Ronnie so badly that I agreed to come.What was I thinking?I can’t even answer that, because clearly, it was nothing. Alexa walks away from me, and I leave, or at least that was my intention. But after five minutes on the highway, I have a change of heart. I didn’t come all this way to hurt the woman I love. I came to see her, to ask if I meant anything—better yet, to know if he means more. Because I need to know.
So, I do what any normal person would. I wait in my car, parked down the street, as they party for hours. Watch as they walk with no care in the world, just like I’m watching her run out of her door, gasping for air. Her hands dig into her scalp, trying to do away with the bun sitting on the top of her head.I can tell she’s going through it; she shouldn’t be out in this weather. Looking up at the sky as if she could find some answers.
It’s pouring out, and she stands there barefoot, still in her costume.
My body moves on its own as it turns off my car, opens the door, and walks across the street.
“Trouble,” I whisper.
Her shoulders tense at the nickname I’ve called her since we were kids. To me, Ronnie is many things, but there are three that automatically come to mind when I think of her. Beautiful like a Sunflower. Pain in my ass, Trouble. Lastly, fleeting like a fucking butterfly. She doesn’t turn away as sobs wrack through her body. The rain pours down on us, like a scene straight out of a movie, but this isn’t a movie. And her pain… my pain… is very much real. This is real life, uncut.
“Please look at me. I’m right here,” I say, my voice a little louder, not caring that Alexa is still in her house. Not when she is tearing herself apart for loving me, and I her. Ronnie finally turns to look at me, her makeup smeared down her face, her hair wet and cascading past her shoulders. Even in the rain, I can still see the tears that shine in her eyes.
“Why?” she chokes out between sobs, her eyes pleading for an answer.
“Wh-y.” I stutter at first, the rain mixing with my own tears, making it hard to see her clearly. But her question rings through my mind.Why? “Because I’m an idiot,” I confess, closing the distance between us. The rain is cold and soaks through my clothes immediately, but I hardly notice. “Because I miss you and because… because…” I pause for a moment, searching for the words that could explain my actions. None comes but one.Love. This is what brought me here.Love. Because I love her.
