“When was the last time you had a drink?”
“What?” I narrow my brows and kick more snow and ice out of the threshold before closing the door. That shit likes to build up here. I think I need to get a better sealant in place. “I had a drink last night.”
“So, you’re not sober?”
“Didn’t have a drinking problem. I had a gambling, miss my girlfriend problem. I’m working on the underlying cause,” I groan, tired of explaining myself. “Why?”
He sighs hard as though he’s about to say something he’s going to regret. “I have a job out at the mill site. One of the guys was injured. The doctor told him he needs to be out for six weeks. I need someone to cover it.”
I chew the inside of my cheek as I listen. “Thought I was an untrusting, no talent, asshole?”
“That’s how desperate I am,” Wade says, voice flat. “We’re renovating the old mill house for one of the Wilder brothers. These guys are buying up a ton of real estate here. We’ve got to keep them happy, which means meeting our deadlines.”
“I meet my deadlines. You know that.” I clear my throat and pour myself a cup of coffee that I brewed two days ago before popping it in the microwave. “You also know I need something permanent. I can’t tie myself up with a temp job right now.”
He drags in a deep breath. “Prove to me that you can do this without fucking everything up and I’ll consider giving you your job back.” He pauses. “But if you fuck up, even once, you’re out. The Wilder brothers project could do a lot of damage if they’re not happy. Do you understand?”
I nod slowly, unsure of whether I’m excited about the opportunity or not. A second ago, I was going to leave Rugged Mountain for good, and saw the value in letting the past go tostart something new. Getting my old job back would change that plan dramatically.
“I’ll drop the keys in your mailbox on my way home tonight. Be there at six and don’t be an asshole.” He groans low under his breath before hanging up the line.
In the silence, I know without another thought that leaving Rugged Mountain is the dumbest shit I’ve thought in a while.
Work is what’ll save me. It always does.
Chapter Five
Alice
“I’ve never been hornier in my life,” I say sipping on my iced decaf. “Did this happen to you too or am I some kind of sicko?”
The low hum of country music and chatter surround me as Sara pulls a comb through my wet hair. “Nope! Completely normal! I was masturbating like three times a day when I was pregnant and I was still hungry for more. I had a moment there where I got addicted to BDSM porn. There’s something about a man being in control sexually that just—” She shivers playfully. “Anyway, how’d your appointment go?”
“Great!” I close my eyes as I talk, enjoying the way the teeth of the comb feel against my scalp. “I have the sex of the baby in the back pocket of my jeans. The doctor asked if I wanted to know but I wasn’t sure. I mean, knowing kind of makes everything so real and there’s still so much to do.”
Sara shakes her head. “It’sbeenreal, honey. You’ve only got five months left. That baby’ll be here before you know it.”
“I know.” I pinch my lips together and stare at myself in the massive mirror. Why do I always look worse in these things? Maybe it’s the dramatic lighting. Whatever it is, all the color is drained from my face, and yet, somehow Sara still looks great. Maybe it’s just me. “Oh! I ran into Wyatt yesterday at the diner.”
“Oh God!” She widens her dark blue eyes. “How did that go? Did you tell him about the baby? Are you guys going to hook up? That might help, ya know? Everything feels better after a good solid trip to bang-town.”
“Bang-town?”I laugh. “And no on all accounts. I wanted to do all the things, but… it’s complicated.” I tap my toes down on the ground and spin my chair toward her. “Then all last night I stared at old pictures of him and fantasized about the sickest things. I don’t know what my problem is.”
The bell above the salon door rings and a woman I don’t recognize walks in with her young child. I glance over for a second then up at Sara who’s back to cutting off my dead ends.
“Logically speaking,” she says, dragging the comb through my hair, “it would be hardnotto fantasize about that man. He’s very attractive. Maybe instead of beating yourself up for having a normal, human reaction, you should accept it and focus on the real stuff like whether or not you still love him.”
I nod my head slowly. “He used to talk about this fort he wanted to build for our kids. We even spent an entire night making a sketch for it.” I stare down at my fingernail and tear at a piece of skin next to my thumb. “I know he messed up, but I don’t know… seeing him yesterday made me realize how much I really miss him.”
Sara cuts a few inches off the end of my hair before gathering another bunch. “Maybe it’s time to forgive him then. I mean, nobody gets through life without stumbling. Look at patterns in people, not mistakes.”
I straighten as she twists my chair back toward the mirror. “That’s actually good advice.”
“Thanks! Now if only I could actually take it myself.”
“Has it gotten that bad?”
“Yeah,” she says, adjusting the chair height. “It’s pretty bad. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. It’s like my brain isgetting scrambled or something. I can’t think straight. It’s like I’m stuck in this cycle, and I don’t know how to get out.”
