“That’s because it’s never happened in the history of Lisles,” the youngest Carey brother, Knox, chimed in.
Wilder Carey, Ryder’s twin and the only member of the family who was actually married to a Lisle, sighed mightily.“With enough training, a Lisle can be a perfectly decent human being,” he said.
Matilda stared straight at him.“I am absolutely telling your wife that you said that.And you know she’ll believe me.I’m not a liar.”
All the Careys laughed at that, even while Wilder shrugged it off—though Matilda was pretty sure there was healthy fear in his eyes.The sign of a good marriage, in her opinion.
Still, after they left her with promises that they’d be happy to help at a moment’s notice again, if she needed it—“because anything that makes Rosie happy makes me happy,” Ryder drawled, “and I’m happier still to make my brothers help me do that”—Matilda found herself fuming a little bit.
Truth was, she didn’t really like people casting aspersions on Tennessee.Or his family in general.She wanted to defend him.She had to bite her own tongue to keep herself from defending him.The only reason she didn’t was because she thought it would call too much attention to the very thing that too many people were clearly already suspicious about.
But the reality was that she hated listening to anyone talk smack about Tennessee, or his family, or anything connected to him in any way.
She felt it simmering inside of her, like it wanted to come out.Like it would, if she let it.When she knew better than to allow that to happen.It would ruin everything.
If Tennessee didn’t want this to be a secret, it wouldn’t be.Matilda was determined to respect that.
Then she stood there, in the middle of this new rescue space that had come together so quickly, and almost too easily, and she should have been thinking about absolutely nothing but that.She should have been beside herself, tending to all these animals and figuring out how she’d make sure that they were just as comfortable here as they’d been before.
The husky, of course, was already keeping watch, like this had been his plan from the start.
But Matilda realized something then.Something stunning.For the first time in her life, she was passionately invested in something other than animals.
And that kind of took the breath right out of her.
She had to sit with it for a long time.
So long that Tennessee came to find her later that afternoon, still standing there feeling sucker punched in the rescue, because she hadn’t answered her phone.
He walked in, big and tall and even more beautiful now that she knew him so much more intimately than she had before.He gave her a quizzical look as he drew near, and put his hand on her upper arm like he needed to touch her.
She’d been in love with him for so long now.But there was loving him before that night, and there was loving him after.The fantasy versus the reality.
Reality was so much better, it was almost funny.And Matilda was positive that this form of loving him was going to stick with her forever.Deep in her bones, she understood that he was a part of her now.
That was probably not something he was going to want to hear.She understood that.She couldn’t blame him.He was who he was.So was she.The smart move would be to keep her mouth shut and continue to enjoy this thing they had.It had been more than six weeks now.Summer was coming.Everything was better in the summer.
Yet as much as it scared her, and as much as the idea of not being cool at all and probably ruining everything terrified her, she didn’t think that she could keep this inside any longer.
Because she wanted to defend him.Maybe she needed to, because she wanted to make it clear to everyone that she was not a safe space for any Tennessee slander or insinuations of any kind.Or she had to stop this, because it was going to come out of its own accord and then everyone would know.
That would be the worst possible outcome.She was certain of that.
“What are you doing?”he asked.“I have food for you in the house if you’re coming by later, but it’s Wednesday, so—”
“I love you,” Matilda blurted out.“I’ve been in love with you for so long that I forgot you didn’t know, and then I couldn’t tell you, because I knew that if you did know…” She shook her head, her heart like a sledgehammer inside her chest and oh, she was sure she could feel the damage.“I love you so much, Tennessee.And I couldn’t not tell you any longer.It was beginning to feel like a lie.So.”
He stood there and stared back at her, and she couldn’t read the look on his face.
That hurt, because she’d been able to read him for years now.And she knew him better now, so she should have been able to read him even more closely.The fact that she couldn’t…
And she understood, then, that she could not bear to watch him recoil.
She would not survive it.
“I love you,” she said again, because it was true and also to forestall anything he might have been about to say.Because she should have thought this through, but like all things Matilda, she’d just jumped right in.Now she was paying for that.And would keep paying for that.“You don’t have to say anything.I just need you to know that.”
And then she ran out of the rescue barn, climbed into her truck, and drove away before he could break her heart any more than she already had, all by herself.
