“Oh God.” Her voice was breathless, wrecked. “That feels?—”
His teeth scraped her skin.
Stop,an inner voice yelled, cutting through the haze of desire like a knife. He froze, his mouth still pressed to her throat, his whole body trembling with the effort of not moving.
What am I doing?
She was human. She was vulnerable. She was pressed against a fence post on a public street, her legs wrapped around his waist, her pulse rabbit-fast against his lips. And he was?—
He was out of control.
He pulled back so abruptly she nearly fell. He caught her, steadied her, and then stepped away, putting three feet of frozen air between them.
“Ben?”
He couldn’t look at her. He couldn’t bear to see what his loss of control had put on her face—fear, probably. Shock. Maybe disgust.
“I need to go.”
“What? Ben, wait?—”
“This was a mistake.”
He heard her sharp intake of breath, and hated himself for causing it. But he couldn’t stay here, couldn’t trust himself not to push her back against that fence and finish what he’d started.
“A mistake?” Her voice was cold now, hurt. “You just… We just… and you’re calling it a mistake?”
“I lost control.” The words came out harsh. “That can’t happen. Not with you.”
“Why not with me?”
“Because I care too much to hurt you.”
Silence. He could hear her breathing, ragged and uneven, and could smell the salt of tears threatening to spill.
“You’re hurting me right now,” she said quietly. “By walking away.”
“Better this than—” He couldn’t finish the sentence.
“Better this than what? Letting yourself feel something?”
“You don’t understand.”
“Then explain it to me!”
He finally looked at her. She was beautiful—flushed and disheveled, her lips swollen from his kisses, her eyes bright with anger and something deeper. She looked like everything he’d ever wanted and nothing he deserved.
“When I want something,” he said slowly, “I want it completely. Absolutely. Without half-measures or compromise. That’s who I am. That’s who I’ve always been. And if I let myself have you—” He swallowed hard. “I won’t be able to stop. I’ll want all of you. Every part. Forever.”
“And that’s bad?”
“It is when you don’t know what you’re signing up for. When I can barely control myself after one kiss.” He shook his head. “You should be with someone who can give you normal. Not… this.”
“I don’t want normal.” She stepped towards him, and it took everything he had not to retreat. “I want you.”
“Sara—”
“No. You don’t get to decide what I can handle.” Her voice was fierce now, the schoolteacher steel coming through. “You don’t get to kiss me like that and then tell me it was a mistake. You don’t get to decide what I deserve.”
