I shake my head. “She won’t see me.”
“She won’t see you? Not at all.”
I shake my head again.
“What did she say when you called her?”
“I haven’t.”
“You haven’t called her?” Mom says. I shake my head. “And you haven’t tried to see her? Why not?”
I blow out an irritated breath. “She didn’t answer my phone calls or emails for the last few weeks I was in Iraq. She wasn’t there when I came home, and she hasn’t made any effort to contact me. Seems pretty clear that she doesn’t want to see me.”
Mom touches my shoulder. “But you still love her.”
I nod once. Then, I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter, Mom. I think there’s another guy.”
“Lieutenant Stephens,” Mom says.
I jerk my head up. Did everyone know about him but me? “You know him?”
She rubs my shoulder. “I actually invited him to the barbecue Uncle Jack threw for Gage. And he was at the memorial service.”
“Were they... did it look like they were together?”
“Nothing more than friends at the barbecue, unless they were good at hiding it. She spent more time with Gage than with him.”
“And the memorial service?”
Mom leans back on the couch. “It’s hard to say. He held her hand, put his arm around her. We were all in need of support that day.”
“And he was there to provide it.
Mom nods. “She was really sick for a few days before the service. She looked pale and fragile—nothing like herself. Juli told me Lieutenant Stephens took care of them after Matt was killed.” She pauses. “He had some nice things to say about Gage.”
I think about the things Gage told me about Lieutenant Stephens.Nicewouldn’t have been the way to describe it.
Mom puts her hand on my back. “This isn’t like you, Jacob, to give up so easily. If you still love her, you need to see her. Now, before it’s too late.”
“Now?”
“Now, tomorrow. She’s probably home for Christmas. Go back early and see her. Talk about things. I know that kills you, but nothing is going to be solved if you aren’t speaking to each other.”
I put my arm around her. “I won’t walk out on you like Nate did.”
She flinches. “You aren’t walking out on me like Nate. And I have Steve. She looks over at him. “Christmas is over anyway. Go, Jacob. I’ll see you in a couple of months. When the baby comes.”
thirty-nine
Possesive
Her new car is in the driveway when I pull up, a little silver hatchback. Reliable, practical—no personality at all.
No one is expecting me. I didn’t want to give Jess the chance to run away. I sit in my car for a long moment, looking at the house. Why am I more afraid of approaching this familiar house than I ever was approaching a building that could have been rigged with explosives? I take a deep breath and walk to the door.
I knock. Usually, I would just walk in after that. This time I wait.
She opens the door. Recognition crosses her face, and she breathes my name. “Jacob.”
