“You’re talking about if something happens to you,” Kendra’s voice is pinched. “I don’t want to talk about that. Don’t ever talk that way.”
There's a long pause before Matt's voice comes back, deep and soothing. “You’re right. You’re always right." I can picture him putting his arms around her. “Whatever you want is fine. Take all the time you want with the wedding. Make it perfect. I’ll be right beside you whenever you’re ready. I’m getting the better end of the deal. I know that.”
Kendra says something I can’t hear. They laugh. I wonder if Matt knows how thin the walls are between our rooms.
I can’t concentrate on the email anymore. I close my laptop and look at the picture of Jacob and the broken locket on my nightstand.The last few days have made the war all too real. I don’t want to think about Jacob and Matt being there.
thirteen
The Hard Part
Ablond-haired, blue-eyed little boy opens the door when I knock. A hugely pregnant, dark-haired woman is close behind him, putting on an earring. I'm struck by how young Becky is. When I met her at the self-defense class Jacob taught, she seemed a lot older than me. Now she seems almost the same age.
“Connor,” Becky scolds. “You aren’t supposed to open the door without Mommy there.”
“It’s just her,” Connor points at me.
Becky stops in the doorway. “Jess. It’s good to see you.”
“Good to see you again too. You look great,” I say. Becky’s blue eyes are rimmed in dark circles, but her face is radiant.
She gives me a sideways hug to accommodate her belly. “Huge is more like it, but thank you.”
Connor is staring at me, his eyes wide. “I know who you are. You’re Jacob’s girlfriend.”
I love hearing that. I kneel to meet his eye. “My name is Jess.”
He squirms away. “Jacob is with my daddy, in Iraq.”
“I know,” I answer softly.
“Jess is going to play with you while Mommy is gone,” Becky says. I offered to babysit for her while she went to the memorial service for the men killed in the attack in Mosul.
“What did you bring me?” Connor asks. He reaches for the bag I brought with me.
"Connor, that's rude,” Becky says.
I hold it behind my back. “A present.” His eyes grow round. “And some cookie dough. If it’s okay with your mom, I thought we’d make sugar cookies.”
Becky smiles. “That's so sweet of you. Just watch him. He’ll eat all the dough if you let him.”
“I’m with you, Connor. I love cookie dough.”
Becky picks up her purse and stuffs a wad of tissues inside. “You might be able to get him to nap in a couple of hours. But don’t stress if you can’t get him to settle down. He’s at that age where naps are optional—at least for him. I can always use one. You have my cell number.” She looks around the room. "What am I forgetting?"
She looks nervous about leaving Connor, or maybe just nervous about where she's going. “We’ll be fine. Don’t worry about anything.”
“I know. You’re wonderful for doing this. I can’t imagine trying to go to this thing today and wrestling Connor the whole time.”
I can’t imagine going at all, especially in her position.
Connor is asleep on the couch, and the cookies are cooling on the table when Becky gets home. Her eyes are red, and she looks exhausted.
“Why don’t you go lie down? I can stay while you take a nap,” I say.
“No, that’s okay.” She takes off her shoes and settles onto the couch beside me. “I know you need to get on the road, and we really haven’t had the chance to talk yet.”
“How was the service?” I ask delicately.
