An electric chill races down my back.
Jasmine's forehead wrinkles in concern. “Where is Jacob?”
“Mosul.” I turn up the radio, but the report is over.
“Don’t worry,” Jasmine starts. “I’m sure he's okay.”
“Yeah.” I'm trying to keep my voice steady. “Can you take me home? I'm actually not very hungry.”
“Okay.” Jasmine keeps glancing at me, but she doesn’t say anything else.
As soon as Jasmine stops the car, I jump out and run up the stairs. Mom is at the door. “Mom, we just heard on the radio...”
“I know,” Mom replies. “I just got off the phone with Trina.”
“What did she say?” I hold my breath, afraid of her answer. I wrap my arms around myself. My whole has gone cold.
“She hasn’t heard anything. She said they go into a communications blackout whenever someone…she said no news is probably good news.” She hugs me. “I’m sure Jacob is fine.”
Jasmine hands me the bag with Kendra’s present.
“Would you like to stay for dinner?” Mom asks her.
“No, I need to get home.” Jasmine hugs me. “Thanks again, Jess. Call me if...” she trails off. “Call me tomorrow, okay?”
I watch her drive away.
Mom puts her arm around me. “Matt is at Kendra’s and Tyler is spending the night at a friend’s house, but we have leftovers if you’re hungry.”
“No thanks, Mom, I’m just going to go up to my room.”
She nods. “Try not to worry, Jess.”
Dad is watching the news in the living room. “... the largest attack thus far. No names have been released pending notification of the families.”
I walk into my room and sit down at my desk. I tap the keyboard and wait for the screensaver to disappear. My email is still up. The unopened message from Jacob stares me in the face.
I take a long breath and open it.
Hey Jess,
This is the second email from me and nothing from you (hint, hint). You didn’t forget me already did you?
I hope you made it home okay. I hope you’re having a great Christmas vacation. Did I mention I miss you? I got your package. I already opened it. Sorry, I couldn’t wait. I love the pictures of you. I wish there were more. It was so good to see your face. Did I mention I miss you?
I'll call you when I can. Maybe I’ll try for New Years. It won’t be the same as a kiss at midnight, but I'm dying to hear your voice.
I hope everything is good at home. I heard from Mom and Gage. They’ll all be together for Christmas. Mom has banned all political discussions over Christmas to keep the peace since Nathan's bringing Angel. Kind of glad I won't be there for that.
Love,
Jacob
I read the email over three times. He was heading to the mess hall. What time did he write the email? What time was the attack? I try to find out on the internet. The story is everywhere, but they're all different. Some say there were nine people killed, some say more. I can’t focus. I try to write a reply to Jacob, but I can’t bring myself to write something I’m not sure he'll ever read.
I shut my computer and lay down on my bed. I have two pictures of Jacob on my nightstand, one of us sitting by each other on the couch from last Thanksgiving and the one of him in his dress uniform. I pick that one up and look at it. It looks too much like something that would be displayed next to a flag-draped coffin. I set it down and pick up the one of us together and hold it to my chest.
What will I do if he’s gone?
