Reluctantly, I pull myself away from the computer. The other email from Jacob will be a treat for later. I’ll write him back a long one withall the details of skiing and Matt’s engagement. Well, maybe not all the details.
I pull on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and twist my hair up on top of my head. I don’t care how I look around Michael, but he’s seen me in my pajamas enough already.
Mom made crepes, my favorite breakfast. I grab a plate so I'll get some before my brothers come down. “Did Michael already leave?” I ask between bites.
“I think he’s upstairs getting his stuff,” Mom says. She adds two links of sausage to my plate. I’ll have to go for a long run when it warms up to work all this off.
“Where’s Matt?”
“Getting ready to go to Kendra’s.” Mom slides another crepe out of the pan. “So I guess no one gets to sleep this morning.”
“Not unless you count Tyler. He’s probably going to be out until noon.”
“Lucky kid,” Mom says. Tomorrow, when Michael is gone, I’m sure we’ll all be sleeping in and eating cereal for breakfast.
Matt comes strolling in, whistling as he walks. I wonder when his euphoria will wear off. “Good morning, Jess. Sleep well?”
“Not long enough,” I mutter, just loud enough for him to hear.
“Maybe the guys will stop bugging you if you get a little less beauty sleep.” That’s about as close to a compliment as I ever get from Matt. He sits down and digs into the crepes.
Mom slides another crepe onto the plate in front of us. “Save some for Michael and Tyler and Dad.”
“Their fault if they miss out,” Matt says, around a mouthful. “Maybe they should learn to get up earlier or move faster.”
I look at Matt for a minute. “Did you ever get around to telling Kendra thatyou’re going to Iraq?”
I realize my mistake instantly. The look that simultaneously crosses Mom and Matt’s faces leave no doubt. The question of whether Kendra knows anything about Matthew being deployed hangs in the air. The reality that Mom hasn’t found out yet is answered immediately.
nine
Emotional Minefield
Mom’s face is ghostly pale. The crepe in the pan scorches. Matt is glaring at me. I mouth the word “Sorry,” and go to take care of the neglected pan.
Finally, Mom speaks. “Matthew,” she barely breathes his name. “When?”
I’m not sure if her question is "when is he leaving," "when did he find out," or "when he was planning on telling her?"
Matt walks over to Mom and puts his arms around her shoulders. “I’m sorry, Mom, I wasn’t sure how to tell you.”
Mom turns and pulls him against her chest. At that moment, Dad walks in, whistling like Matthew had been just a few minutes ago. As soon as Dad looks at Mom and Matt, he stops whistling and looks guilty.
“You.” She points her finger at him. “How long have you known about this?”
“About Matthew and...” he hesitates. “Matthew and Iraq?”
“And Jess?” Mom is going from shocked to mad. “Does everyone know about this but me? Tyler, and Kendra too?”
No one says anything. I dump the scorched crepe and get ready to pour another one.
“Leave it,” Mom orders. “I need to talk to your dad and Matthew. Jessica, go back upstairs.
I obey. I wish I could somehow erase the last few minutes. Mom looks hurt, angry and afraid all at the same time. Dad looks guilty. Matt just looks mad, mad at me.
Half-way up I run into Michael. He’s whistlingJingle Bells,carrying his bag, and taking two steps at a time.
What is it with the whistling this morning? I catch him by the arm. “You don’t want to go down there.”
