Jess: Bound
Ikeep listening for his car, checking the window.
Two steel-gray envelopes hide in my top drawer, taunting me. I haven't turned them over to the lawyer yet.
"Michael" has called a couple more times, always with the same message:Tell Jess I'm thinking of her.
But it can't be Michael. I haven’t talked to him in months, and he's still in Korea.
I've been trying to figure out how to tell Jacob about the messages I’ve gotten from Brad. It's probably something we should figure out together, but Jacob is already stressed about something else. I hear it in his voice whenever we talk. He told me he got the promotion, so not that. I'm guessing it's because he knows he's being transferred and he's not sure how to tell me. I'm hoping it's because he has something planned, that there's something he wants to ask me.
If not, I'm prepared to ask him. Tradition be damned. I'm going to ask Jacob to marry me. If he says yes, we can get married as soon as possible. If I have to finish my last semester at another college, or wait until we're back. it's okay. I’m ready to stop doing the distance thing and just be with him.The sooner, the better. I've never cared about a big wedding like Kendra. Something simple, maybe in the barn or my backyard—sweet and romantic, just our family and close friends. We can be far away by the time Brad gets out of jail. More importantly, we can stay together.
I don't know what I'll do if he says no.
His car pulls up out front. I stand at the window, waiting. He stays in the car for what seems like forever. He leans over, as if he’s putting something in the glove compartment, and finally gets out.
I don’t give him a chance to knock. I open the door, jump into his arms, and wrap my legs around his waist. I'm kissing him before he can even say my name.
He carries me to the couch. Then pulls away, looking at my empty apartment. “Where is everyone?”
“Out. They won't be back for hours.” I lean in to continue what I started.
He pulls away. "That's good. We have a lot to talk about."
"Talk?" I tease him. "My apartment is completely empty; we're finally alone, and you want to talk?"
"Yeah." His face twists like he's in pain.
I slide off his lap. "Are you okay?"
He reaches for my hand. "There's something I need to tell you."
I hate to see him so worried, so I jump in. “I know about your transfer."
“You know?” Relief floods his face. "And you're okay with it?"
"On one condition." I lean into his ear. "Take me with you."
He looks confused. “Jess, you can’t go with me.”
“I could if we were—” I stop, and look down, embarrassed. Obviously, he hasn't been thinking about the same thing I have. I feel foolish, like a little girl again, begging for his attention and jumping to a place he’s not ready to go.
"If we were…married," he finishes after the long, painful pause it takes for him to figure out what I mean.
I nod.
He laughs, but there's something guarded about it. "I'm not sure if I should take that as a proposal or an acceptance, since I didn’t get the chance to ask."
I can't tell if he's serious or so caught off guard he doesn't know how to respond. I work to keep my voice light. "We could call it both, or…"
He nods, and now I'm wondering if that's his answer. None of this is going the way I thought it would. He's holding something back. “Who told you I was leaving?”
“Becky. She said your entire unit is going to Germany.”
A shadow passes over his face. “She was wrong. Not everyone is going.”
“So you’re staying?” The thought gives me hope and terrifies me at the same time. I won't have to say goodbye. We won't have to rush into anything, but I'll have to tell him about the messages Brad has been sending me. I probably should have told him a long time ago.
