The clerk takes it out of the case. I hold it between my fingers and watch the light reflect off the diamond. I can imagine it on Jess’ finger. I wish I could imagine what her reaction will be.
I check the price tag and grimace. Between my new car payment and all the dumb stuff I did before I got Jess back, my savings is shot. I might be able to swing the ring if I get the promotion I’m in line for, or if I sell my car.
I shake my head. Is this what I really want? Sell my car, get a wife. Make that commitment. Jess’ face comes into my mind. What would it be like if she were really mine? What would it be like to have her waiting for me every night when I came home?
This is the rest of my life—the rest of our lives. I know I’ve never loved anyone this much before. A future with her is easy to imagine. I can picture her glowing with the roundness of pregnancy, carrying our baby. I can see her pushing our daughter or son in the swing, being a mom to our kids. I can see us getting old together, being one of those cute old couples celebrating a 50th wedding anniversary.
I look at the ring again.
The only thing I know for sure. I can’t leave Fort Lewis without Jess.
I buy the ring. Lucky for me, my credit is good. I qualify for convenient monthly payments. I’ll put the car up for sale when the details are all worked out. I guess that means if she says yes.
The sparkly-toothed clerk puts the ring in a little velvet box and smiles at me. “She’ll love it, but if it isn’t quite what she wants, you can bring it back and exchange it for something else.”
She didn’t tell me what to do if it’s me she doesn’t want.
I manage to get to my room without anyone seeing me. I’m not sure what I would say if anyone tried to talk to me right now. I pull the box out of my pocket and set it on my desk. I open it and look at the ring from a distance. My heart is pounding as if I ran ten miles. Now what? I step forward and pick up the ring between my fingers.
My phone rings. I pull it out and check it. For the first time ever, I’m hoping it isn’t Jess. I’m not sure I can talk to her now.
It’s my mom. Almost as bad. Mom has a sixth sense about things like this. She always knows when to call. Like when I was assigned to Fort Lewis, she called almost immediately after I got my orders.
I consider not answering the phone, but I know I have to tell someone. Mom is probably the best choice.
“Hey hon,” she says. “How are things?”
“Pretty good,” I answer.
“How are things on base?”
“Good.” I study the diamond in the light of my room, and run my finger over the patterns on the sides.
“What have you been doing lately?” she asks.
“Lately? Like when lately?” My reaction sounds like I'm hiding something.
“I don’t know. How about today? What did you do today?”
I take a breath. “The usual.”
She sounds suspicious. “How are things with Jess?”
“Good, great actually,” I try to keep it casual, but I know she’s not buying it. I roll the ring between my fingers, wondering how to tell Mom. The ring flips out of my grasp, flies across the room, and bounces along the floor. I swear.
“What was that?”
“Just a minute, Mom.” I set the phone down on the floor and retrieve the ring. I put the ring back in the box, shut the lid and then go back to the phone.
“Okay, what’s going on? And don’t say nothing. I know you too well. You sound nervous, or stressed, or something. Did you hear from the promotion board?”
“No, it’s not that.”
“What then?”
I touch the box. “Mom, what do you think about me and Jess…what would you say if I told you…” I take a deep breath and just blurt it out. “What do you think about me marrying Jess?”
She laughs, “You want to know what I think about you marrying Jess? The beautiful, sweet daughter of one of my best friends, the girl who has been in love with you since she was a little girl, the girl who would make a great mom and a great wife? What do I say to that? How about this, Jake? What took you so long?”
