"The weapons array is fine." He moved to stand beside me, close enough that I could feel his body heat, close enough to make my fingers fumble on the controls. "You're brilliant, Elena. One of the most gifted engineers I've ever met. But right now, you're creating problems where none exist because you're nervous."
"I'm not nervous."
"Your hands are shaking."
I shoved them into my pockets. "Low blood sugar. I forgot to eat lunch."
"It's 1600 hours. You forgot to eat breakfast and lunch." His large hand caught my chin, gentle but inexorable, turning my face toward his. "Talk to me. Tell me what you're actually afraid of."
The words stuck in my throat. How did I explain that I was terrified of wanting something? That every good thing in my life had been temporary or taken away or revealed itself as an illusion? That letting myself care about him felt like volunteering for inevitable heartbreak?
That I'd watched him nearly die and realized with crystalline clarity that losing him would destroy something in me I didn't even know I possessed?
"I don't know how to do this," I finally admitted, voice small. "Dating. Relationships. Being with someone who actually..." I gestured helplessly at the space between us. "Who actually wants to be with me instead of tolerating my presence until they find someone better."
Vaxon's expression showed something fierce and protective crossing his features. "Who made you believe you were merely tolerated?"
"Everyone?" The laugh came out bitter. "My family thought I was useful but exhausting. Teachers liked my work but found me difficult. The Liberty crew appreciated my engineering but complained I talked too much, moved too much, thought too much." I pulled away from his touch, needing space to breathe. "I'm a lot, Vaxon. I know I'm a lot. And people can only handle so much before they decide I'm more trouble than I'm worth."
"Then they're idiots."
The flat certainty in his voice made me look up. He was watching me with that intensity that should be intimidating but somehow just made me feel seen.
"You talk because your mind moves faster than most beings can process," he continued. "You move because stillness doesn't serve your creative process. You think in dimensions most people can't imagine." He stepped closer again, crowding my space in a way that should feel threatening but just felt safe. "You're nota lot. You're exactly right. And anyone who couldn't see that doesn't deserve you."
My throat felt tight. "You almost died."
"I took hits protecting someone I care about. That's not the same as almost dying."
"You were bleeding. Purple blood everywhere. You passed out in the shuttle." The memory made my chest constrict. "Bea said the plasma burns were severe. That if we'd been ten minutes longer getting back?—"
"But we weren't." His hands found my shoulders, solid and warm. "I'm here. I'm fine. And I'd do it again without hesitation."
"That's what scares me." The confession escaped before I could stop it. "You'd sacrifice yourself without thinking twice. You'd die to protect me and consider it acceptable because duty and honor and whatever other warrior code you follow makes your life less valuable than mine." I met his eyes, desperate for him to understand. "But your life isn't less valuable. Not to me. Not anymore."
Silence filled the electrical bay, just the hum of conduits andthe distant thrum of Mothership's engines and the sound of two people breathing too fast.
Then Vaxon pulled me against his chest, arms wrapping around me with careful strength. "I won't promise I'll never protect you. That's asking me to go against every instinct I possess." His voice rumbled through his chest into mine. "But I can promise to be more careful. To recognize that you're not just someone to protect, you're my partner. And partners trust each other's competence."
I pressed my face against his uniform, inhaling the scent that was uniquely him as metallic and warm and safe. "I can't lose you. I know we're not even officially together yet and I have no claim on you and it's probably too soon to feel this intense about someone but I?—"
"Elena." He tilted my face up, those cobalt eyes holding mine with gravitational force. "I fell for you months ago. Probably the first time you explained circuit theory to me and your whole face lit up like you'd discovered something miraculous in basic electrical principles." His thumb traced my cheekbone. "I've been yours longer than you know. The question is whether you're ready to let yourself be mine."
The electrical systems hummed around us. Power flowing through designed pathways, controlled and channeled and transformed into something useful. Energy that was dangerous when chaotic but brilliant when properly directed.
Kind of like me. Kind of like us.
"I'm terrified," I whispered.
"Good. So am I." His mouth curved into something almostresembling a smile. "Apparently that's normal when you care about someone this much."
"How do you know?"
"Er'dox mentioned it. Said the terror never completely goes away, you just learn to function despite it." He pressed his forehead to mine, an intimate gesture I'd learned was significant in Zandovian culture. "I'm willing to be terrified if you are."
I laughed despite myself, shaky and breathless but genuine. "That's possibly the worst romantic declaration I've ever heard."
"I'm a warrior, not a poet. I'm working with limited material here."
