“What do you think?” I asked.
His irises brightened to a brilliant silver, and the colors around me turned solid white.
“Sleep,” a deep voice whispered inside of my head.
Austin
Every day was the same. I didn’t care what Adam did to my body as long as I couldn’t feel. Since I’d been here, locked in my blue box, there had been no more sleepless nights. There had been no more waking nightmares.
I was unlovable. If the kuu didn’t exist, I wouldn’t have anyone, and there were times I wondered if that would have been so bad. I let my guard down with Adam. When we met, Ifelt something for him, but he ended up being like everyone else. If he was going to hurt me, I’d hurt him. It made me feel better to make him hurt, but he set me free by putting me here. My comfortable blue box where people can’t hurt me anymore.
With a wave of my hand, the handle of a cleaver materialized, and it was heavy against my palm. I swung the blade, hewing my left arm until it lay lifeless on the blue floor. I couldn’t feel anything; the arm turned human and faded away before reappearing back on my body.
The person who hurt me most was me, and I couldn’t stop crying. Hurting this body brought me short-lived vindication. Whenever I’d want to feel it again, I’d remove another limb. They always grew back.
I didn’t know reality anymore, and I would see faces and hear voices. Most of the time, the only face that came through was Cody’s, so I’d claw out my eyes. I’d opened myself, and he’d rejected me.
I lopped off a leg, and it fell with a muffled thud. As expected, the limb turned fleshy before disappearing and reappearing on my body.
This place was like purgatory. Terrifying but comfortable.
Every so often I’d come to the realization that this may have been death, but the moment I started to feel anything, another dismemberment would make me forget about it. When I’d see the blood drip from my wounds, I didn’t feel relieved. I kept reliving that horror over and over again until I wasn’t afraid anymore.
When Adam put me in my blue box, my mother came, and the gun I remembered from then appeared in my hand. I aimed, and she fell lifeless to the floor, disappearing and reappearing. I’d scream each time I relived it until the tears stopped. Then another phantom would surface. My brother—still frozen as a child. Again, I’d pull the trigger, and again I’d scream.
Over and over, people I’d once loved would visit only to die, and now all that was left was me. I knew it was only a matter of time before I’d finally be able to put an end to this, but something kept me from doing it. No matter how many times I tried to stop crying, I couldn’t.
Why couldn’t I stop?
Cody
I woke once more in front of a fire. The four of us lay in a row next to one another, but we weren’t at our campsite. Above me was a rocky ceiling partially obscured by smoke; toward the entrance of the small cavern, dappled sunlight danced its way along the smooth floor.
“Roscoe,” I said, trying to shake the werewolf awake. He didn’t respond. I turned to Adam, who was lying on his stomach, and rolled him onto his back. He was like a breathing corpse, not waking no matter what I did. I gently pried one of his eyelids open with my thumbs, revealing a pale, blue glow.
The scent of herbs mixed with morning breath hit me as I separated Adam’s jaws and discovered a wad of saliva-soaked greens along his black gum line. A small sack fell to my side, and I turned toward the elder I’d encountered last night sitting in the shadow of a rocky pillar.
Eager for an explanation, I pinched the herbs and tucked them between my cheek. Reality morphed into a burst of colors, and heightening senses enough that I saw more feral werewolves sitting along the back wall of the cavern.
“Where did you bring us?” I asked, resting against the warm cave wall.
“Home,” the elder said, his giant maw slowly forming a grin. He was so huge, it was almost unsettling. We were warned they might not let us leave, but it was too early to jump to that conclusion.
“We didn’t come here to live. We came here for help.”
“If you have come here for help, that means you are helpless. The Whasha are your family and your salvation. Why would you not want to stay?”
I gave that question a lot more scrutiny, careful with my response.
“It’s not the right time. I’m not ready to give up my memories or my way of life.”
“That all depends on you,” he said, his speech meticulous. “When everything is complete, I will know.”
“When what is?”
The giant werewolf pointed to the other three lying unconscious on the floor. “I have reached in and pulled to the surface each of your pasts.” He slowly climbed to his feet, taking care not to hit his head on the rocky ceiling. With a few strides, he sat directly in front of me and pointed at Roscoe. “Starting with him.”
“How is this going to help Austin?”
