“I give you full permission to kill him after he makes breakfast.”
“Don’t know why yer so upset. Look at how spry you are,” Roscoe said after shoveling in a forkful of eggs. “My remedy works every time.”
Darryl said nothing, rather glared at Roscoe while he chewed on a piece of leftover sausage.
“You stopped hallucinatin’ right?”
The larger werewolf held another sausage to his mouth before meticulously biting off the end of it. It didn’t take a genius to figure out the symbolism.
“Oh yeah,” I said, remembering something from earlier. “What’s the theme of our costume?”
“Oh yer gonna love it. It’s a surprise.”
“Every time you string those two sentences together, I know it’s going to be stupid,” I muttered. “I’m not going to the party looking like a mix of dirty shit you pulled out of the trash.”
“It’s Halloween. We’re all gonna look like idiots,” he said, his tail wagging through the gap in the oversized dining room chair. “Plus, I didn’t get anything from the trash. It’ll be great, I swear.”
“He did a good job on ours,” Adam said. “I didn’t know you played video games.”
“I don’t. Got my inspiration from some porn I saw online, and that little stuffed animal Austin gave ya.”
“All right,” I said, standing from the table. “I want to know what you’ve done.”
“Nope. It’s a surprise.”
“Then I’m not going.”
“Oh, yer going. I’ll drag you kickin’ and screamin’ if I have to. The costumes don’t work unless both of us wear them.”
“Roscoe, I swear—”
“I’m gonna make you have fun,” Roscoe said, eyeing Darryl again. “Y—you excited, bud?”
“Oh, I’m not your bud,” Darryl said lowly, cracking his knuckles. “You should hurry and finish your breakfast.”
“My polar bear costume looks dumb,” Austin muttered.
“It’s cute. Ain’t it, Adam?”
“It’s perfect. His personality matches the character’s, too,” Adam said.
Austin pouted over his plate. “I don’t play stupid video games.”
“He shoots lightning from his claws.” Adam patted Austin on the back. “He’s the coolest champion!”
“What the hell kind of porn are you watching that has polar bears?” I asked. “How are you even finding all this stuff? You barely know how to use a smartphone.”
“I needed some inspiration, so I borrowed yer laptop.”
“That’s not mine, you idiot! Mosavi let me borrow it until I can afford one. If there’s monitoring software on that thing, and I have to explain to him why there’s polar bear porn—”
“Uh…” Roscoe interrupted, his ears low. “There ain’t no monitoring software on it.”
“How the hell would you know that?”
“Cause… there ain’t nothin’ on it no more. I got sidetracked and was jerkin’ to something hot, then I got some kinda weird warning telling me I had to pay six hundred dollars. Then it just stopped workin’.”
Both Darryl and I glared at Roscoe.
