“Rough night?” I asked, talking over his loud rummaging through the cabinet.
Adam grunted in response. Several spoonfuls of sugar and creamer later, he slowly made his way to the dining room table, spilling some on the floor.
“You just ruined that coffee, and we’re gonna get ants,” I muttered as he sat across from me.
“I’ll clean it later,” he said, taking a sip that was likely lukewarm.
“Are you okay?”
“I guess.” He took another sip before setting his mug on the table. “I just want this to be over with.”
“The transformation or your birthday?” That question prompted an immediate look of annoyance. “Happy birthday, by the way.”
“Thanks.” He took another sip and stared into his cup. “I’m just tired of being like this. I want to be bigger and stronger, and I want to be the one to tell Austin what to do.”
“You can still—”
“I want whatever you have,” he snapped. “Sorry, I can’t let this go. It’s been driving me crazy all night.”
“Why are you so hung up on this? You can’t use the vironoct, and you’re going to need to get over it.”
Adam’s sharper, white canines slipped from behind his upper lip as he put the mug up to his mouth again.
“I’m visiting Mosavi this morning, like I said I would. I haven’t been able to sleep right lately.” Adam still didn’t respond, so I softened my tone a little more. “I just want to help.”
“By stealing my kuu mate?”
“Dude, come on.”
“That’s what this feels like!” Adam scooted back from the table and folded his arms. “You might not have done it intentionally, but you did it.” He looked down at his hands. “I was going to leave him the moment I changed, but now I’m having second thoughts.”
“What do you mean?”
“Exactly what I said. He’s gotten softer, and he’s all I think about lately. I’m scared of being alone, and fuck… I think I’ve actually got feelings for him.”
“You’re never going to be alone, Adam. Just because you turn doesn’t mean you have to leave here. I don’t want you to leave.”
“That’s not what I mean.” He tugged at the choker around his neck. “I’m afraid that if Austin rejects me, I won’t be able to find anyone else. If I can’t give him what he wants, he’s not gonna stay with me.”
“Listen, I want you guys to stay together, but not like this. You shouldn’t want to be with him out of some obligation or fear. Ifit doesn’t work, there are plenty of other werewolves and half-turns.”
“You’re not understanding this.”
“Then explain it in simpler terms.”
He slammed his hand against the table but stifled his voice. “I don’t know, either. I’ve never felt this before.” His eyes changed to a lighter color before dimming back to blood orange. “I have to stay with Austin. So I have to learn what you did, and if you and Darryl won’t teach it to me, I’ll learn it from someone else.”
“How did you find out about Darryl?”
“I’ve known for a while. He hardly ever does it, but I have seen him use it to break up fights. Before we moved, I tried to get him to teach it to me so I could punish Austin, but he gave me the same excuse you did. It’sdangerous, and I’d just fuck it up if I had it.”
I stood up from the table. “You don’t want whatever this is. No one should have it, not even me, and I’m not using it anymore after you turn. When you become a werewolf, you’ll be big enough to give him what he wants. But that’s not going to work if you both want the same thing.”
“I don’t,” he muttered. “I hate being small.” The half-turn glared at me. “And I hate being treated like some kid.”
“I wouldn’t treat you like one if you didn’t act like one.”
“Okay, so I’m not a sixty-year-old geezer trapped in a twenty-three-year-old’s body, and I don’t have some ancient alpha mojo. But I’m twenty now, and I expect you to treat me like that.”
