He glared up at me, then down at his sleeveless shirt before dusting the crumbs that had accumulated onto the floor.
“Missed a spot,” he muttered before scrolling again.
Not wanting to make things worse, I turned around and walked through the hallway toward the back door. Now wasn’t the time for a heartfelt apology, especially since all I could think about was choking him.
As I opened the door, Austin stood at the edge of the woods, staring at nothing in particular. His tail swayed gently, so I knew he was in a somewhat decent mood. My bare feet lightly padded over the frosty lawn until I was standing next to him.
“You okay?”
“Mmhmm,” he grunted, still staring straight ahead. I tried to get a sense of what he was looking at, but aside from a few birds, there wasn’t anything of note.
Turning back toward the house, I walked over to the cold fire pit and sat on one of the lawn chairs, my heart rate finally dropping to a steady, less concerning rhythm as the caffeine started to wear off. Austin followed and took the seat next to me but didn’t say anything. Instead, we listened to the calm wind whisper through all the trees.
“Ever feel like taking a walk in the woods?” he asked, finally breaking the silence.
“When Roscoe and I were out there, it was nice. I kinda thought about just staying there, but that notion faded quickly when I got poison oak all over my face.”
He smiled at that.
“Are you having those thoughts again?” I asked.
“They haven’t come back since that night.”
“I think that thing with Mosavi made everything worse.”
His ears stood straight. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.”
“I’m sorry, Austin. I wish I could’ve stopped him.”
“Why? I liked it,” he said pensively.
“What?”
“I liked it,” he repeated, this time looking down at me. “I think about it all the time. I also like it when you boss me around. I dunno. It just feels right.”
The words in my head were an incomprehensible mess, and once again, I had no idea where to take the conversation.
“When I saw what you did to Roscoe last night, I got kinda jealous and fried his nips.”
“I guess I’m a little confused.”
“You can add that to the list of messed up shit about me.” He chortled and looked away. “When I joined the marines, it did something to me. When sergeants would shout commands, it was a turn-on. I didn’t have to make the decisions or think too much. All I had to do was follow orders.” He shifted and crossed one leg over his knee. “I wanted to be told what to do.”
“Dude, that stuff’s fine in the bedroom, but you can’t let people do that to you in real life. Is that why you neglect Adam?”
“He wants me to take control and make the decisions all the time. I can’t deal with it.” The hackles on his neck stuck straight. “When you told me to fuck him, that was hottest thing anyone’s ever done. When I was…neutralizing the target, all I kept thinkin’ about was you on top of me, shouting in my ear.Sometimes you’d lock me up, or I’d picture you beating the shit out of me while strapped to a St. Andrew’s cross.”
“Dude—”
“I know,” he said, his expression returning to normal as he pulled nervously at his mane. “That’s why I’ve been thinking about paying the mayor a visit. I was gonna ask him when he was here, but I didn’t want to deal with Adam messing it up.”
“Don’t do that. That guy fucked you up pretty bad last time.”
Austin shook his head. “No one gets me, and Adam’s never gonna understand. That big-dicked piece of shit sitting in that office does though.”
“Just tell Adam what you want and stay away from Mosavi. I mean it. I’ll let you guys have that bag of weird sex shit, if you want it—if I can find where Roscoe hid it.”
“It’s not the same if you have to tell someone.” He snorted and shook his head. “I used to get really rough with him, and I wanted him so pissed off that he’d do that stuff to me as revenge. But all it did was make him more whiny. It’s why I haven’t been in the mood to do anything with him lately, but when you tell me what to do—” His ears folded backward. “Maybe I really am more fucked up than I thought.”
