“I am not like a bitter old lady!”
Adam scrunched his nose. “‘Adam, stop eating on the couch. You’re getting crumbs everywhere. Roscoe, you didn’t wash your dick with bleach before fucking me. No, we can’t go out to eat because we have to save money for the impending apocalypse I’ve conjured up in my head!’”
“You know damn well we’re on thin ice when it comes to money!”
“No, we’re not! We don’t even pay rent! The biggest expense we have is Roscoe’s bottomless fucking appetite!”
“And that alone is all the more reason to save what we have.”
I was losing this argument.
“Why are you like this?”
“What do you mean?” I asked, trying to calm down.
“We’ve got money. We’ve got a place to live. We’re getting laid every day by monsters that know how to fuck really good—well, one of them does. Still really annoyed with that, by the way.”
“Well, it’s not just wisdom that comes with age, I guess.”
“See? You’ve actually got a sense of humor. Why don’t you ever lighten the hell up?”
“I don’t know how to make you understand this. I’m used to always being a few dollars shy of being on the streets. There were some days I’d just have to go without food, or heat, or electricity. Poverty just follows me, you know? It’s just like when I was a kid, and my parents—never mind.”
“We’re fine, Cody.”
“You call this fine? We’ve got two werewolves in jail, and I’m probably next.”
Adam laughed. “What didyoudo? Clean someone’s house without permission?”
“Apparently walking in the woods is a punishable offense in Mosavi’s authoritarian regime.”
“Are you for real?”
“The guy doesn’t fuck around, and he’s threatening us. He knows about Austin. He knows everything.” I picked up a stick and tossed it onto the fire. “I wonder who his wife is and if I could talk to her.”
“Damn, he’s married to awoman?” Adam chewed on his lower lip. “I bet I can change him.”
I rolled my eyes.
“What? He’s really hot.”
“Did you hear what I said, or has the constant state of being a slut caused the last drop of blood to leave your brain?”
“Okay, so things are looking bleak, but if you guys are gone, I get the house and all the money to myself.”
“You’re forgetting something kind of important. See, you need to live with a werewolf to keep collecting that money, and Mosavi will likely report it and kick you out of the house.”
Adam let out a sharp gasp. “We can’t let him get away with this. I’ve got an idea!”
“Glad to see that strong sense of selfishness paying off. What’s this idea?”
“So, he’s married right?”
“We’ve established that.”
“You and I need to get him really drunk, and then I’ll have the nastiest, hottest sex with him, and you get his wife to walk in right as he’s about to blow his load in my ass.”
I stood and walked to the backdoor. “Good night, Adam. You’re a fucking idiot.”
