“Last night.” I can’t help but smile again. “I was watching Skyler for Kiki, and she fell asleep at River’s house, and we were cleaning up the Barbies, and I just...” The memory makes my chest warm. “I told him about what happened back home. About my ex and my parents and all of it. And he was so kind about it, Claire. He didn’t judge me or tell me I should have known better. He just listened and held me when I cried and said I didn’t deserve any of what happened to me.”
Claire’s hand finds mine, squeezing gently. “Oh, Kiera.”
“And then I kissed him.” The words come out softer now. “Because I wanted to. Because he made me feel safe. Because for the first time in forever, I actually wanted to be close to someone instead of running away.”
“That’s great.” Claire’s eyes are suspiciously bright. “So, does this mean you two are together now? Like officially?”
I lean back against the counter. “No. We’re taking it really slowly. I don’t want to mess things up by rushing into something I’m not ready for.”
“But you like him.”
It’s not a question, but I nod anyway. “Yeah. I really do. But I also can’t lose focus on my goals, you know? The competition is in a month. And I need to win that scholarship. I need to prove I can be independent, that I can make it on my own without relying on anyone else.” I bite my lower lip. Plus, I’m afraid he will lose interest in me if I finally agree to a relationship, but I don’t tell that part to Claire. I don’t want to admit I think River is out of my league.
“Those things aren’t mutually exclusive,” Claire points out gently. “You can care about River and still work toward your goals.”
“I know. It’s just...” I search for the right words. “I’ve never had both before. Every time I’ve cared about someone, it’s ended badly. And I’m scared that if I let myself fall too hard, too fast, I’ll lose sight of what really matters.”
Claire’s expression softens with understanding. “So you’re being cautious.”
“Exactly.” I straighten up, feeling more confident in my decision. “We’re friends who are maybe becoming something more. But we’re not putting labels on it or making it complicated. We’re just... seeing what happens.”
“That sounds really healthy actually.” Claire leans against the counter beside me. “So how’s the cooking practice going?”
My whole face lights up. I can feel it happening, can’t stop the excitement from bubbling out. “Oh my gosh, it’s been so cool. River decided to help me prepare for the competition he would give me mystery ingredients. Yesterday he gave me lavender, which was challenging because you have to be so careful with it or everything tastes like soap. But I made this lavender-honey roasted chicken that turned out decent, and I made lavender salt for the potatoes, and River said it was delicious.”
I’m talking with my hands now, unable to contain my enthusiasm. “And today I have no idea what he’s going to give me, but I’ve been preparing, reading recipes and getting ideas from my favorite YouTube channels.”
Claire is smiling, watching me with this knowing look that I can’t quite decipher.
“And the best part is that I’m actually learning,” I continue, barely pausing for breath. “Like, I’m getting more confident with improvisation. I’m trusting my instincts more instead of just following recipes exactly. And River is so supportive. He asks really thoughtful questions about my techniques and why I chose certain ingredients, and he makes me feel like what I’m doing actually matters.”
I stop abruptly, realizing I’ve been rambling. “Sorry. I’m talking too much.”
“No, you’re not.” Claire’s smile has grown wider. “You’re talking about something you’re passionate about. And someone you care about.”
“I just... he’s really great, you know?” The words keep coming, like I’ve opened a floodgate I can’t close. “He’s patient and kind, and he actually listens when I talk. He helped me move into my apartment without being asked. He plays Barbies with Skyler like it’s the most natural thing in the world. He’s working on this documentary about coastal communities that’s actually beautiful and meaningful.”
I pause, my throat getting tight. “And he makes me feel like I’m more than just the girl who got kicked out by her parents. Like I’m someone worth knowing. Someone worth...” I trail off, not quite ready to finish that sentence.
“Someone worth caring about,” Claire finishes softly.
I nod, not trusting my voice.
Claire pulls me into a hug, and I let her. “I’m so happy for you, Kiera. You deserve this. You deserve someone who sees how special you are.”
When she pulls back, she’s grinning. “And for the record, you should hear yourself when you talk about River. Your whole face changes. You look... happy.”
“I am happy.” The admission feels terrifying. “I’m also scared out of my mind, but I’m happy.”
“That’s okay. You’re allowed to be both.” Claire glances at the clock on the wall. “Your shift ends in twenty minutes. Are you going over to River’s after this?”
“Yeah.” My stomach flips over at the thought. “He said he has another mystery ingredient for me today.”
“Of course he does.” Claire shakes her head, still smiling. “That man is so gone for you.”
“He’s not?—”
“Kiera.” She gives me a look. “He’s designing elaborate cooking challenges just to spend more time with you. He’s gone.”
