CHAPTER 14
KieraEmmerson
Wednesday, June 2
My first instinctis to run.
To stand up, make some excuse about needing to check on Skyler, grab my niece and get out of this house as fast as possible. To put distance between me and River Stone and his impossibly kind eyes and his question that’s sitting in the air between us like a live wire.
Who hurt you?
But I can’t run. Skyler is asleep in River’s guest room, and even if I could carry her without waking her, where would I go? Back to my tiny apartment above the bookstore where I’d lie awake all night replaying this moment, hating myself for being a coward?
Besides, something about the way River is looking at me right now makes it impossible to deflect with sarcasm or change the subject. His expression is so open, so genuinely concerned, that the walls I’ve spent months building feel like they’re made of paper instead of steel.
I take a shaky breath and look down at my hands. “It’s not a fun story.”
“I didn’t think it would be.” His voice is gentle. “But I’d like to hear it. If you’re willing to tell me.”
The Barbie dolls are scattered around us on the floor, their plastic smiles frozen in perpetual happiness. I pick up Princess Glitter and turn her over in my hands, focusing on the tiny details of her dress instead of River’s face.
“I had a boyfriend,” I start, and my voice sounds strange to my own ears. Distant. Like I’m talking about someone else’s life. “Back in my hometown. We dated for a while during my junior year.”
I stop. This is harder than I thought it would be. The words feel stuck in my throat, sharp and cutting.
River doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t push. Just sits there, patient and still, giving me all the time I need.
“He was popular. Funny. All the girls liked him, but he chose me.” I laugh, but there’s no humor in it. “I thought that meant something. Thought I was special.”
I trace Princess Glitter’s tiny crown with my finger. “He said all the right things. Told me he loved me. Told me I was different from other girls. Made me feel like I mattered.” My throat gets tight. “I believed him.”
The silence stretches. River hasn’t moved, hasn’t interrupted. He’s just listening, like this is the most important thing in the world.
“He kept pressuring me,” I continue quietly. “To sleep with him. And I wasn’t ready, but he’d get upset, say that if I really loved him I would. That everyone else was doing it. That I was making a big deal out of nothing.” I set down the Barbie, my hands starting to shake. “So eventually I... I did. Because I thought that’s what love was. Giving someone what they wanted even when you weren’t sure.”
I risk a glance at River. His jaw is tight, but his eyes are still gentle, still patient. Still waiting for me to continue.
“The next day he dumped me.” The words come out flat. Matter-of-fact. Like I’m reciting a grocery list instead of describing the moment my world fell apart. “Said it was fun but he was done. Then I found out—” My voice cracks. “I found out there was a bet. Him and his friends. To see how many girls they could hook up with before graduation. Whoever got the most would win.”
I have to stop again because my throat is closing up and my eyes are burning. I will not cry. I will not break down over something that happened two years ago.
Except I feel River move. He scoots closer on the floor, and then his hand is on mine. Not grabbing, not demanding. Just there. Warm and steady and solid.
He squeezes gently. The touch breaks something open inside me, and suddenly the words are tumbling out faster.
“I was the conquest that won him the bet. Two hundred dollars, that’s what I was worth. And everyone knew. The whole school found out within a day, and suddenly I was the stupid girl who fell for it.” Tears are sliding down my cheeks now, and I can’t stop them. “People would whisper when I walked by. Point and laugh.”
River’s grip on my hand tightens, his thumb stroking across my knuckles in slow, soothing circles.
“My mom found out.” I’m crying openly now, my voice breaking. “She told me I was just like Kiki, making the same mistakes. And my dad—” I choke on the words. “My dad just looked at me like I was something disgusting, and told me to pack my things.”
“Kiera,” River says, and there’s so much pain in his voice.
“My dad called me a harlot.” The word tastes like poison. “Said if I was going to act like one, I could do it on the streets.And they kicked me out. Just like that. No second chance, no forgiveness. Nothing.”
I’m fully sobbing now, the kind of ugly crying I haven’t let myself do in months. River reaches up with his free hand and gently wipes a tear from my cheek with his thumb.
I lean into his touch without thinking, closing my eyes. His palm is warm against my face, steady and real.
