I came back out and stood in the kitchen doorway watching Brendon run the water at the sink, his back to me, humming something low under his breath while he rinsed plates.
And then my body just picked something. I don’t even know if my brain was fully involved. But I had to lie quickly.
“Baby I just started my period,” I said. “Out of nowhere.”
He turned around immediately, concern already on his face. “You okay?”
“Yeah it just caught me off guard. I need to run to CVS since they are still open and grab some things. And I think we’re almost out of dog food.”
“I’ll go to the store baby. Just go grab your heating pad and lay down.” he said, already reaching to turn the water off.
“No.” I said it a little too fast and softened it. “No, I want to go. I need some air anyway. I’ll be back in a little while.”
He looked at me for a second and I held his eyes steady.
“Okay,” he said. “Text me if you need anything else. I really don’t like you leaving home this late, but if you insist.”
I grabbed my keys before he finished the sentence.
—
I saw his car the second I turned out of my neighborhood. He was parked on the side of the road like he lived there, like he had been there a hundred times before, completely still and dark. I drove past his car slow and he pulled out and followed me without any signal between us, like we had already agreed on where we were going.
I drove a few blocks to the neighborhood park and pulled in. Cut my lights. He pulled in right behind me.
I got out of my car and walked to his passenger door and got in. But, before I could say a single word his hand came around my throat. Not hard, not violent, just firm. His fingers wrapped around my neck and he squeezed just enough that I felt it everywhere and he leaned over until his mouth was at my ear.
“What the fuck took you so long,” he said quietly. “What were you doing in there with that nigga?”
I turned my head slightly. “You mean my fiancé?”
His hand tightened just a fraction.
“Shut all that shit up,” he said. “That won’t be the case for long.”
I don’t know what was wrong with me. I don’t know what kind of sense I had lost between my front door and this car. But something about the way he said it, the certainty behind it, the way he held my throat like he had every right to— I liked this rough, thug ass shit.
I reached for him.
And he let me. Leaned his seat back and let me handle my business and I did it without thinking about where we were orwho might walk by or what any of it meant. I pulled his dick out his pants and went to work. I wasn’t the bitch to even give head but being in Griz presence just brought another side out of me.
I went from giving him head, to riding him in the front seat of the car like I had lost my damn mind. I wasn’t thinking about the risk of what we were doing.
Ten minutes in a dark parking lot, blocks from the house I shared with the man I was supposed to marry in September and I was not thinking about a single one of those things. When we were done fucking the shit outta each other, I don’t know what I was expecting. But I was not expecting what he said next.
“Alright, Ivy. Get out!” He barked while I was fixing my clothes in the passenger seat now.
Just like that. Get out.
I pulled back and looked at him. “What?”
His eyes told me he wasn’t playing. No anger in them, just that flat certainty that I was starting to understand was just how he communicated when he had already made a decision. One thing I wasn’t going to do, is beg him to change his mind or ask for an answer. I had a life to get back to you anyway. I just know now, this dude was bipolar.
I reached for the door handle.
“You have a limited amount of time,” he said while my hand was on the handle. “To tell him it’s over. That you don’t want to be with him anymore.”
I turned back around. “Griz I can’t just—”
