It was going to be a dangerous thing, having her around him. She made it far too easy for his control to slip. It was too tempting.
Rachel had clearly left an impression on him, so much so that he was unable to get her out of his mind, even when he lay in his own bed later in the night.
She was all that he could think about. The way it had felt to kiss her and pull her into his arms.
She had been so willing, as well. Did she feel the same pull towards him? That alone had been enough to drive him mad.
His desire was still blatant.
“Heavens.”
Slowly, his hands drifted downwards to the front of his pants. And then slipped inside, grabbing a hold of himself.
His eyes closed, and he began to imagine her.
First, in her nightgown. And then the way that she had looked after he had kissed her. From there, his imagination took a dangerous turn, and he began to strip away her clothing in her mind.
His mind was conjuring up all manner of scenarios now.
What would she have done if he had pushed their little encounter even further? Would she have been just as willing?
A sound escaped his lips. It was a low moan. He wished nothing more than to visit her in her bedchambers and make his fantasy come to life.
His grip on himself tightened, and his movements were faster now.
“Rachel.”
He could not help himself. It felt natural to say her name out loud like this. But then his desire grew even more.
He had reached the point of no return now, and his mind began to imagine her next to him, in his own bed. He felt excitement bubbling inside of him as he thought of the ways that she would respond to being touched by him.
When his relief finally came, he felt as exhausted and as satisfied as though it had been the real thing.
But as clarity finally began to return to his thoughts, there was one thing that he was certain about. It was going to be extremely hard to stay away from her, and it was going to require every bit of his self-restraint to do so.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Rachel could not sleep.
She sat in her bed, her fingers touching the corners of her lips ever so gently.
She had never been kissed before, and she had not expected that their first kiss was going to be as passionate as it had turned out to be. In that moment, it had felt like everything else in the world had fallen away, and nothing else mattered anymore.
She had never experienced passion like that before, but it also raised alarm bells inside her mind. How was it possible to be that attracted to someone? So much that you lose all sense of self when they’re around you?
“What on earth possessed me to go to him like that?” she groaned to herself.
Rachel had known, of course, that there were certain expectations of a wedding night. Expectations that she had scarcely understood, let alone prepared for. She never had a mother to tell her of such things, and while she’d overheard whispered conversations among other young women, they had been vague at best.
She had gone to Simon’s study expecting answers.
What she hadn’t expected was for him to kiss her like that. She had never felt this way before. It was a new sensation entirely, and she was not sure if it was entirely unwelcome.
It was as though her body wanted something, and then her mind cautioned her. Being around Simon made her act in ways she couldn’t explain.
In her mind, there was only one solution to all of this. She had to maintain a distance from him.
She would follow his rules. She wouldn’t ask where he went or pry into whatever work kept him so guarded. And she would certainly stay away from the attic. Wherever he drew his lines, she would respect them.
