He resumed reading.
I don’t know what will happen—whether she will recover, and if so, when. But I do know that she is your wife, and you have a duty to be by her side at a time like this. I write to you because I believe you are a man of honor and that you will stand by that responsibility. I ask you to come be at her side now.
She has been unconscious since her fainting spell, though the physician says she will wake soon. Come and be with her when she does.
Yours sincerely,
Marina Jones.
“What is it?” Mr. Billings pressed him. “You look as though you’ve seen a ghost. Is it bad news?”
“It’s Susan,” he managed to choke out. “Prepare a carriage for me at once, Billings. I’m going to visit her at her sister’s house.”
“Is everything all right?”
“No,” Norman said shortly. “She’s unwell.”
Saying the words made it feel more real than it had thus far, and his stomach clenched. She was alone and suffering because he hadn’t done right by her. Because he hadn’t managed to keep her close at hand. He felt sure that none of this would be happening if she hadn’t gone off on her own, even though he knew that belief wasn’t particularly sensible. If she was still here,she would be all right. She would be by his side, and all would be well.
Had I never kissed her, she would be fine. I did this to her.
That made no sense. He couldn’t allow that thought to take root in his mind. And yet, somehow, it didfeellike the truth. It felt like he was directly responsible for her plight. Wasn’t that what this letter had been all about? Marina was holding him responsible. She was telling him that he had neglected his wife.
She was giving him a chance to put it right.
He hurried out to the carriage, eager to be on his way.
The horses were being harnessed when he made it outside, and he paced impatiently. “We don’t have time for this. We have to get moving.”
“They’re moving as quickly as they can, Your Grace.” Billings was still at his elbow. He hesitated. “Shall I accompany you?”
“No, you should remain here,” Norman said. Ordinarily, he would have liked to have a member of his staff with him, but he couldn’t stand the thought of answering questions on the journey, and Billings couldn’t be counted upon to remain silent. He needed peace. His mind was already far away, already with Susan.
How could I have let her go?
He felt utterly foolish. She had given him the opportunity to stop her. At any moment, he could have told her no, that he didn’t want her to go. He could never have forced her to stay. But he hadn’t really evenaskedher to stay.
And that makes it my fault she left. My fault, and completely understandable. Anyone would have done the same in her shoes. I might have.
If anything happens to her, I know I will never forgive myself.
At last, the horses were ready. Billings offered him a hand into the carriage, but he ignored it and climbed in on his own. “Hurry,” he told the driver as he boarded. “Go as fast as you possibly can, I implore you. There is no time to waste.”
He knew he had been heeded because as soon as he had settled into his seat, the carriage pulled away at a rapid clip. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back. Even though they were now underway, the journey would take at least an hour, and who knew what could happen in that time?
Who knew what might have happened already? Susan’s fainting spell had beenyesterday, according to the letter. There must have been an agreement not to contact him—an agreement Marina had violated.
She had mentioned her other sister, Leah, in the letter. So Leah was with them. Norman wasn’t sure what to make of that. Leah couldn’t have come all the way from Scotland in response to Susan’s illness. She must have been here already.
But she might have come for Susan. She might have come in sympathy for her sister, whose husband failed and neglected her. In fact, I’m sure of it. She’s here for Susan because I wasn’t.
His own failings were thrown into sharp relief once more.
Reeves had been right all along. Norman had made the wrong decisions at every turn. He had been prideful and arrogant, and he had lost his chance at love. He deserved to lose Susan now.
And I’ll accept that. But please, please, just let her be all right. I’ll accept everything else if only she recovers her health. That’s all that matters.
A tall woman with blonde hair and a frown awaited him outside Marina’s home when the carriage pulled up. He knew at once that this was not going to be easy.
