“She married because she felt she had to,” Norman explained. He wasn’t sure if giving out this information was the right thing to do or not, but it was an overture of good faith on Aunt Tabitha’s part that she had started with an apology. He wanted to trust her. “She knew that her father wouldn’t allow her sister’s marriage until Susan was married first. Susan wanted to protect her sister’s prospects. Lady Marina was very much in love. Susan didn’t want to marry anybody at all, but she decided I was a good enough option.”
Aunt Tabitha’s voice pitched upward in excitement. “So she doesn’t want to be married to you any more than you do to her.”
“I didn’t say I didn’t want to be married to her, Aunt Tabitha. I said Ididwant it. You don’t agree with my reasons, and I’mhearing you out, but it’s incorrect to say I didn’t want to marry her at all.”
Aunt Tabitha waved a hand dismissively. “The truth is that you wanted to marry for love,” she said. “That’s what you would have done if you had never inherited.”
“But I did inherit,” he said.
“Yes, but you shouldn’t have to give up the life you would have chosen for yourself. Being a duke should open doors for you, not close them, and I’m afraid that’s what you’ve never realized.” She took a sip of her tea. “I think we ought to see about an annulment.”
Norman felt as if he had swallowed a block of ice. “What?”
“You’ve sacrificed so much to advance our family,” she said. “You shouldn’t have to sacrifice your chance at happiness with a wife. Let me help you resolve this. We can secure an annulment for you easily. You already have the money and the business contacts you wanted to gain from this marriage, so that will be all right. And as for Susan, she’s gotten what you say she wanted as well. Her sister is married. Her father must be satisfied. She would probably thank you for annulling the marriage if what you’ve described to me is accurate.
Would she really thank me?
He thought of the way Susan had run from him after the kiss they had shared, and the way she had been avoiding him ever since. Maybe Aunt Tabitha was right. Maybe she would be relieved if she were to come home from her promenade to find out that he was ready to end things.
But even if it was true, he didn’t think he could do it.
The thought of letting go of her now was more than he could take, more than he wanted to consider. He shouldn’t let himself have feelings for her. He knew that. But those feelings had begun to grow just the same. How was he ever going to set them aside?
I can’t let her go. I do want to be married to her. In spite of everything, I want it.
Aunt Tabitha was watching him, waiting for his answer.
What am I going to tell her? That I want to be married for the sake of love after all? After she knows I’ve been lying about that very thing? She would never believe that I have genuine feelings for Susan. And I can’t say that out loud anyway, because I don’t want to have those feelings. I want to be rid of this. Just look at what happened at Montgomery—it’s already causing me to act like a fool.
“I don’t want to get an annulment,” he told his aunt.
“But why?” she pressed him. “I don’t want you to feel trapped in something that isn’t right for you, Norman.”
“I don’t feel trapped.”
“I think you do. This can’t be what you wanted.”
He shook his head. “The truth is, it doesn’t matter what I feel,” he told her. “I have responsibilities here. I have a duty. I made a promise—both to the people of Heathmare and to my wife. And I honor the promises I make.”
“So you’re conceding that you don’t have feelings for her, though?”
“Please hear me, Aunt Tabitha. I’m saying it doesn’t matter,” he told her. “That I don’t love her is irrelevant to what I must do.”
And the fact that I’m beginning to think I do love her is something I can never name aloud.
Aunt Tabitha sighed. “Very well,” she said. “I suppose you’ve heard me out, and that’s all I can ask. I’ll do as I promised you I would now. I’ll drop it and never bring it up again.”
He sighed. “Thank you,” he said. “Truly. This is not a pleasant conversation for me.”
“I just hope you understand that all I want is to help you live the best life you can,” she told him. “I want you to be happy, Norman.”
“I know that,” he assured her. “I am happy, Aunt Tabitha. Really.”
The most surprising thing of all was that he thought it just might be true. He was tormented to be sure, uncertain of what he wanted. Plagued by the memory of her kiss, desperate to know if he would ever receive another.
But she had blazed through his life like a shooting star, brightening everything around her in her wake. She excited him every moment they were together.
He could never wish away her presence in his life.
