Susan turned toward her sister and took both her hands. “Marina, please don’t worry like this,” she said. “I’ll admit I’m ill at ease, and you’re right to think that it has to do with my marriage. You are deeply in love with your husband, but my situation… is different. But you mustn’t worry that anything dreadful has happened. It hasn’t. I don’t believe Norman would ever do anything to hurt me physically. He is an honorable man.”
Marina searched her expression and must have satisfied herself that Susan was telling the truth. “I hope not,” she said. “Will you promise to tell me if he ever does? Even if you don’t think Fatherwould step in to help, will you at least tell me? I’ll rest easier if I believe you’ll let me know if anything happens.”
“I’ll tell you,” Susan agreed. “And you, too, must promise to tell me if you are ever dissatisfied in your marriage. I hope Gilbert is everything you dream him to be. But in case he isn’t, I want to know at once if he disappoints you.”
“I promise,” Marina said.
“Norman hasn’t done anything wrong,” Susan said with a sigh. “It’s just difficult, navigating a relationship with someone so new.” She teetered on the verge of telling her sister about the kiss, but in the end, she refrained. “I just don’t always know what to make of him, or of his feelings about me. I wish I had a better understanding of those things.”
“Perhaps you could use a break from him,” Marina said.
“That’s why I was so eager to come out with you today,” Susan said. “You’re exactly right. I did need a break. I’ve been keeping my distance from him since the ball…” She hesitated again. “Just because it was difficult being in front of people,” she decided.
She wasn’t sure why she was keeping the kiss to herself. Marina wouldn’t judge her for it. In fact, she would probably be excited about it…
That’s the reason. I don’t want to see her light up, only to have to explain all over again that it doesn’t really mean anything. Idon’t want her to try to persuade me that I can have a romance after all, that I ought to allow him to kiss me if he wants to. I’ve already made up my mind about this, and there isn’t anything to be gained by arguing about it.
“If you really need a break from him,” Marina said, “perhaps you should come and stay with me for a while.”
“But you’ve just finished your honeymoon,” Susan said. “Things must still be very fresh with you and Gilbert. This isn’t a good time for me to intrude on your life.”
“Of course it is,” Marina said. “I want you to come, Susan. I would love for you to stay with me for a while, to get to know Gilbert better. I think it would be wonderful. The two of you might even become friends, and I can’t tell you how much that would mean to me.”
“I already like Gilbert,” Susan assured her, smiling. “But… I hear what you’re saying, Marina, and maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea. I’ll consider it. I don’t know if leaving my home, even for a short visit, is the right thing to do at the moment. But I will think about it.” She rose to her feet. “We ought to continue our promenade.”
Marina stood too and took Susan’s arm. “I’m glad you’re safe,” she said. “I’m glad you’re secure in your marriage, even if things are difficult sometimes.”
Susan smiled at her sister. “And I’m glad you’re happy in yours.”
But her thoughts were far away, back at Heathmare.
Should she leave? Spend a week with her sister and give her heart time to settle down after that kiss?
And even if leaving was the wisest choice available to her… would she be able to bring herself to do it?
CHAPTER 28
“Lady Keethroad is here to see you, Your Grace.”
Norman looked up from the book he had been reading and set it down on the small table beside his chair. “Aunt Tabitha?” What was she doing here again, so soon after her last visit? He rose to his feet and followed the butler out into the foyer.
Sure enough, Aunt Tabitha was there. She was alone this time—Michael hadn’t come with her. She smiled as he entered the room. “Norman. How good to see you. Michael told me you were at the Montgomery ball with your wife. I wish I could have attended.”
“It was a pleasant time,” Norman lied.
Susan had been right, of course, about her conversation with Lord Islington. Norman should have known that she would be. Ifhe had been honest with himself, he would have known it—there was no reason to worry about a scandal.
He had never really been worried about a scandal. He understood that now.
It was just that seeing her talking to that man, smiling at him so easily, had ignited something hot and horrible in the pit of his stomach. He had been jealous.
He didn’t want to feel like that.
What do I have to be jealous about? She’s married to me. I have everything I wanted from her. And as far as her paying attention to someone else, well, why should that matter? I’ve never yearned for her attention. She’s right—I told her when we married that I wouldn’t trouble her, and I meant that.
He led Aunt Tabitha into the sitting room, grateful for the company—at least he would have something to divert his thoughts from the trouble he’d had with Susan. He didn’t want to think about their argument. Even less did he want to think about the kiss that had come afterward—the moment his resolve had broken.
He couldn’t ever allow that to happen again.
