He had represented the truth correctly by arguing with her. He’d noticed this detail—and so many more, if he was being honest—because she captivated him. Because so often, he couldn’t look away. In part, it was her beauty, but more than that, it was the mystery of her. The way he could never predict what she was going to do next. It had frustrated him so many times, but it was also wonderfully engaging.
Of course, he knew what her favorite drink was. He felt as if he knew everything about her. It startled him that her fatherdidn’tknow. How could anyone not give their full attention to her?
He didn’t really have any need to talk to anybody at this party. It had been an excuse, and he felt pathetic for having made it. But he had needed to get away, to breathe and regroup. Being near her made him dizzy sometimes.
He paused near the doorway, turning back to try to locate her. She had left the dance floor…there. She was standing near the wall, watching the proceedings with an inscrutable expression on her face.
How he longed to go back—to find out what she was thinking! Was she considering the dance they had just shared, the conversation they’d had? Maybe it had meant something to her. Maybe…
Stop. That wasn’t what this marriage was about. He couldn’t allow himself to forget that. She had made it abundantly clear many times—she didn’t have any desire to be married, and had only allowed herself to become tied to him so that she could secure her sister’s future. That was taken care of now. She had gotten everything she wanted from this arrangement—and he’d promised to leave her in peace.
But Norman couldn’t deny that part of the reason he had wanted to come out tonight had been to secure the opportunity to spend some time with her. He liked their little pretense, showing thetonthat they were enamored of each other, and not just becauseit was enjoyable to be in on a secret that no one knew. He liked being with her.
I likeher.
He was just going to have to convince himself that the things he was feeling weren’t love. This was something else. He cared for her, but he wasn’t in love with her.I’m just so good at pretending that I fooled myself. I’ve been acting as if I’m in love with her, and now it feels like I am.
This would be the last ball for a while. The two of them needed a break. They needed to allow reality to restore itself.
Michael had joined Susan now, and the two of them were engaged in conversation. Norman scowled, remembering what had happened when his aunt and cousin had come to Heathmare for dinner. For Aunt Tabitha to accuse Susan of trapping him into a marriage he didn’t want—it insulted them both.
He left the ballroom. He’d told Susan he had people to talk to, so he might as well go and find some. Hedidneed to take advantage of this situation to find out what kind of impression he was making on the people of theton. He was still so new to his title, and it was so important that he convince people he belonged.
He found a group just outside the ballroom. He knew one of them by sight. The Marquess of Cleery was a stout man in his fifties, well known as one of the wealthiest in all of London.Having his favor would be a very good thing for business. And that was what this had all been about—making sure that business would be good.
He approached the group of gentlemen.
They deferred to him at once, stepping back to allow him to join their group. It was a level of respect he was still unused to, especially from gentlemen like these. Before his inheritance, he had had the respect of friends, but not their deference. And certainly not from strangers.
Only the Marquess seemed unfazed by his arrival. He sized Norman up with a critical eye. “Your Grace,” he said. “It’s good to see you out and about. How was your honeymoon?”
“Satisfactory, thank you.” Making a good impression was one thing, but Norman was not about to share details of his private life with these men he hardly knew. “How are you all enjoying the party?”
“Oh, it’s a serviceable function, though Montgomery has some way to go if he truly hopes to make this an annual event.” The Marquess shrugged his shoulders. “It can be difficult to introduce new things.”
A pointed comment if ever there was one. “I find that the wisest people know how to keep an open mind about the new,” he said, trying to sound as though he wasn’t referring to anything in particular. “That’s certainly what I strive to do in my own life.”
The Marquess abandoned all pretense. “I suppose it must be necessary for you to be so open-minded,” he said. “After all, you haven’t always been one of us, and for such a drastic change to be successful, a man must be prepared to let go of everything he once deemed important.”
“It hasn’t been so drastic,” Norman objected. Of course, it had been, but he didn’t want to give this man the satisfaction of knowing he had ever struggled with anything in his life. He wanted the Marquess to think that adjusting to life among the members of thetonwas an easy thing that anyone could manage.
They’re too full of themselves, the lot of them. Let them understand that my life was harder before any of this happened—even if that isn’t strictly true.
“The best thing about becoming a duke has been the removal of worry from my life,” he lied, reflecting that lying seemed to get easier with every passing day. A part of him yearned for Susan, suddenly—his partner in deception. If only she could have been here to listen to this one! She’d have found it very funny. She would have understood at once the fact that he was being dishonest, and she would have been amused by it.
The Marquess, by contrast, clearly had no idea that he was being given anything less than Norman’s true opinion. “I don’t know what kind of place you’re turning Heathmare into,” he said. “I have always found that worry is ever-present in my life, and I’d imagine that the responsibilities of a duke would be an even greater burden. But then, perhaps you are simply neglectingyour responsibility. I don’t think anyone would judge you overly harshly, of course. You’re still getting used to all this.” He leaned in. “I would be more than happy to pay a visit to Heathmare, Your Grace,” he said. “It would be a good opportunity for the two of us to discuss ways we might be able to work together to help your position be a success. I know you could use some help adjusting to the ways of theton.”
Norman forced a smile onto his face.And to think Aunt Tabitha was worried Susan was taking advantage of me! These are the kinds of people she ought to have saved her worry for.“Please don’t put yourself out, Lord Cleery,” he said. “I have things well in hand. In fact, thanks to certain investments of mine, affairs at Heathmare are progressing more effectively than I ever could have hoped.”
“Your wife’s dowry must have helped.”
“Considerably.” Norman wasn’t about to be ashamed to admit what Susan’s presence in his life had done for him. “But really, that’s the least of it. What’s contributed most to my success is the bonding I’ve been able to do. Would you believe thatmostof society has welcomed me with open arms, in spite of my humble beginnings?” He hoped that his smile was convincing, that the irritation wasn’t shining through. “But by all means, come by Heathmare and you and I can talk business. I think that’s a wonderful idea. I truly would love to hear any suggestions you might have, and with luck you and I might find a project we’re both excited enough about to work together on.”
The smile on the Marquess’s face had faded somewhat, and Norman knew the other man had expected that he would fold. The Marquess had thought Norman inferior, in spite of his title, just because of his upbringing. He had expected to be able to make Normanfeelinferior.
I’ll never give him that satisfaction. I may not fit in well with these people, but that isn’t because I’m any worse than they are. I’m considerably better, in fact, than a man who comes to a party and spends the whole night trying to get a rise out of people.
“Would you excuse me?” he asked the group at large. Already, he was regretting having come out here and wishing he was anywhere else—with anyone else.
