“If you want,” she said calmly, “you and I can go to the country for a while. It shall remove you from London and scandal and all of those dreadful things that you wish to be rid of, and then when you are ready we can return.”
It was the most incredible invitation. It was exactly what she needed, an escape from everything that had been haunting her. It was the easiest thing that she could do.
And it was for that reason that she could not take it.
“It is most kind of you, but I must refuse,” she sighed. “It is time for me to accept what has happened, and take the outcome as itcomes. I have come out of this well, and running now would only make people wonder why.”
Her friends were clearly surprised by that, and they glanced at each other before looking back at her.
“Are you quite certain?” Anthea asked. “Nobody would blame you if you needed to escape for a while.”
“There is no escape. It does not matter where I am, or what I am doing, all that I can think of is him. Besides, I cannot run forever. My mother has agreed to find me a husband, and I will not complain regardless of who she chooses for me.”
Sybil took her by the shoulders then, her grip tight.
“Cassandra, this is not who you are. What has happened to you?”
“I fell in love,” she said simply, but the words shocked them all. “I fell for the Duke, and it was the worst thing that I could have done. I cannot believe it, cannot believe that I would let myself be so vulnerable, and I have learned my lesson from it. I will not make that mistake a second time.”
“Then what will you do?”
“I will accept whichever man is chosen for me, and I will maintain a distance. It would not be fair for my husband to think that I love him when I do not.”
She knew that what she truly wanted, more than anything, was to swallow her pride and write to the Duke and tell him that she had changed her mind, but she could not bring herself to do so. As it was, she had been the one to walk away. She had been the one that made the decision, and if she went back on that only for him to say that he did not want her, then she had lost the last piece of her dignity.
She could not allow that to happen, for if it did she did not know what she would do.
Suddenly, there was the loud slam of her front door. All three ladies looked in the direction of it, and then at one another, and then they crept toward it. They stood in the upstairs hallway, looking down at the entrance half in fear and half in curiosity.
Cassandra wondered if the man her mother had chosen for her had already arrived. Then, she heard his voice, and it was more chilling than it would have been if it were a stranger.
“I am here to see Lady Cassandra. Is she here?”
“Your Grace,” her father said gently, “it is good to see you, but she–”
“Is she here?”
“Yes.”
“Good. I need to speak with her. She may not want to, but I insist that she comes down.”
There was an authority in his tone that she did not recognize, but it was what she sensed beneath it that truly caught her off guard. There was a desperation, a longing, and suddenly she was not as angry as before. Without announcing her arrival, she rose steadily and descended the staircase.
“Your Grace,” she greeted. “What is it?”
She feared that he might look beyond her and see her friends hiding by the stairs, but he did not. His eyes were fixed on her, staring intently into hers. She flushed at the intimacy of it, worsened by the fact that her family was watching them. It was strange, and yet she welcomed it. She had missed him, and in spite of everything she could not believe that he was there before her.
“We can leave you be,” her father suggested, but the Duke shook his head.
“If it pleases you, I should like for you all to hear this. I no longer have anything to hide, nor any reason to feel shame for why I have done what I have done. I could have been better, and I should have been, but I cannot change that.”
He took her hand then, tilting her chin up so that she was looking at him.
“Lady Cassandra,” he continued, “I will not claim to have ever been the perfect man. I have made so many mistakes, even if I thought I was doing the best that I could. I cannot promise you that there will never be another obstacle for us to face, nor another mountain to climb. I cannot and will not proclaim that I know we will never face hardship, but I can tell you here and now that I will stand by you through it.”
By that point, her friends were standing by the bannisters, watching on and clinging tightly to one another. Cassandra, meanwhile, was trying to remember how to breathe. She had been caught by surprise by his sudden arrival, and even more so by what he had to say. She could not believe what she was hearing, and she wondered for a moment if she was dreaming, but it was real.
He was there, and he was telling her exactly what she needed to hear.
